well i'm so upset so confused i have no idea what i'm doin. i just booted my husb. out. he's an alcoholic. of course he doesn't seem to think so. he has been abusive in every wich way but for some fucked up reason i still luv the jerk. why? like what the fuck!!!! how could i luv someone so selfish and rude to me. when he's sober he's the best father and a decent husb. but get him drinkin and all hell breaks loose. i come home from work he's drunk and the guys are here half pinned stumblin around swearin and talkin shit. my kids are seein this. well after 10 yrs i finally booted him out. enough was enough. he is controlling and wouldn't let me do anything. literally. i got to go to dancing once a week. i rarely go out to drink, so i would go to a friends house and we just have coffee, tea or whatever and just smoke a pinner. but nope i can't do that. i don't know. i've since let him back under the condition that he quits drinking. he has agreed and wants couseling and whatever it takes to be home with me and the kids. right now of course he is agreeing to do anything, and i'm worried i'll be in the same boat 3 months down the road. aahhhhh!!!!!! i don't know what i'm doin. if he's not drinkin he's awesome. a really good person. maybe i'm lookin for excuses for him to be home. oh i have no idea. just needed to rant. if you got some input that would be very helpful. thnx.