Karma is a bitch: Stripclub Edition

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by carljay89, May 15, 2011.

  1. On a cold ass Friday during the end of February this year me and some friends were walking around looking for parties to go to. We couldn't really find much and some rando's that we were with suggested the strip club. Two of our friends didn't want to go so we went back to one of their places. There we smoked a couple blunts and someone had some Ritalin so we all took one.

    One guy brought up the strip club again, and I said I would go, and jokingly made a reference to my ex-girlfriend of two years. We laughed it off and my black friend who is always giving me advice urged me not to go. 2 hours and an eighth of weed later we are in line to get into the strip club. We had no cigarettes or anything to cover the smell of the dank we have been smoking all day. I'm blazed out of my damn mind and I had no idea what Ritalin really even is.

    We get in there and I can't even figure out how to work the ATM which has $5 service charges on it for each time you withdraw. It took 3 of us to figure out I had never entered my pin, but fuck it. I have cash out and i'm ready to see some titties.

    My friends and I sit down and I see a beautiful girl with massive tits walking up to the top stage. Yup, it was my 18 year old ex girlfriend. Neither of the two guys I was with believed me until I showed them naked pictures of her on my phone. I paid for 12 lap dances with her, which consisted of me sitting there while my naked ex bounced up and down on my flaccid dick. I couldn't do anything, but just sit there and think of the mind fuck I was experiencing. Stupid bitch wouldn't let me go there for my 18th birthday a year prior to me seeing her EMPLOYED THERE. In the end, I got the last laugh. I told her father and her fiance about her new job. Haven't heard from her since other than an angry phone about this ^----
  2. Your so cool, you know black people.
  3. And you paid for 12 lap dances from your ex? Fuckkk thaaaat.
  4. Was it needed to tell us your friend or your ex was black? Maybe just because I live in a multi-ethnic area and a friend doesn't have to be defined by their race.
  5. His blackness is where he derives the majority of his infinite wisdom. If you didn't know this then you are clearly racist.

  6. True statement, my only black friend is the smartest mother fucker I know.
  7. Well sir in Iowa where 98% of the population checks the "White" box on the census, it's almost an insult not to point out that he is black.
  8. So you paid $$$ to get 12 lap dances from your ex-girlfriend and then told her daddy and fiance about it?

    Cool story bro...

  9. it all makes sense to me now!

  10. Haha, understandable dude.
  11. #11 GetaJoB, May 15, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: May 15, 2011
    i read this until it got to "and someone had ritalin"
    that shit is retarded i did it in the eigth grade to feel like a cool kid and ended up going into a coma in my office chair to the point of needing to be carried to the couch by my sister.

    dont pop pharms especially dumb ones.
    ESPECIALLY when you dont even know what kind of pill it is.

    you bought 12 lapdances from your ex. cool story bro.
  12. Hey man! how many of your ex's are blowing dudes for a living? Come up with a better true story and I will give you the blunt im rolling.
  13. Epilogue:
    Turns out the friend and his Ex were the same person! he just couldn't tell cause they both were black.
    What a Twist!

  14. why would u need to cover up the smell of weed if ur going to a strip club
  15. ^truth. if anything your gonna want some chron nugs to pull out and sniff every once in a while to get the smell of rancid pussy out of your nose...

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