I have been lurking on grasscity for a while now, and I basically just decided to start becoming a more active user. So, the basics; I'm a freshmen in college about 4 hours from home, my parents are anti weed, my mom caught me once, however she is a big drinker so we just have an understanding not to talk about the others personal lives, but my dad has yet to find out that I have been a regular token for a couple of years( they have been separated my whole life pretty much). So lately I have been feeling somewhat guilty about hiding such a big and important part of my life from my parents, I want to tell them about how Mary Jane has been there for me and has opened my mind to the world and what I want to do with my life. The problem: my dad is an ordained pastor currently serving as a youth minister at a church back part time and for his full time job is a counselor to those with drug addictions and mental illnesses. He is vey educated about drugs and marijuana, not the typical ignorant anti-weed person that many of the posters on the forum talk about. I know that if he found out I smoked that he would not me mad, he would be disappointed in me, because every day he deals with druggies, and does not want me to go down that path (even though we know that marijuana does not guarantee or even precedent other forms of drug use) it's just what he believes, which I don't blame him because when you work with druggies, you're seeing all of the people that drugs have affected badly, you could say the minorities of pot smokers. My dad and I are very close, we never argue or anything and we both respect each other very much, it's because of that respect that I feel inclined to tell him, but I don't want him to lose any for me. And for the college aspect of this, all of my bros and toking friends are back home, and so I've had to find new friends to smoke with along with connections(already success in that department), so it just kind of sucks not being able to smoke with friends that I used to chill with every day of the year. To top that off my roommate is an ignorant slob that feels the need to add his opinion to everything as if it was the way everyone should be thinking, and one of his opinions is that all pot smokers are just dumb asses not going anywhere in life, little does he know that I toke at least 3 times a week and to be put it modestly, I'm definitely not a "dumb" smoker. Which is frustrating to say the least. I could deal with that because I don't go around telling people I toke, but he is just one of those people that once you don't like them, everything about them pisses you off. Well thanks for listening gc, feel free to offer your opinions or whatever.
Welcome to the city. in my opinion if you're in college and you and you're dad get along, I would just wait to tell him until you're out of college and have a job and steady living, or it becomes an issue where he's going to find out eventually anyways. And I like how people like your roommate think people who smoke don't go anywhere, then you tell them you smoke and they have some excuse how you're the exception or whatever and still look down on you. I would try and request a transfer. Best of luck!
Tough dilemma, either you could keep it to yourself and chances are he'd never know...but if things went south he might find out in the wrong way? Choices man, I personally would tell him. If he's truly aware of the effects of cannabis, then its not a debate about the flower itself. Instead it is a matter of opinion...he knows its not harmful, he know its not addictive. He may even be aware of the many POSITIVE medicinal effects, but his anti-marijuana ideals are founded his opinion that marijuana use will lead to further substance ab/use which cannot be supported by any science. A trend yes, but not proof. So his argument is without substance and invalid as far as why you shouldn't smoke. This is where the respect comes in and common ground is met, he falls back on the knowing that you are a grown man doing big boy things. Now if you were to fail him by proving him right...then that's a different story...
If you and your dad are close id say just get honest with him. It would be better than him finding out thru someone else
Thanks for the advice guys, I probably will wait to tell him later when I am on my career path. Which might be a while because I am pre-med right now.
I've talked to some people about things like this and it's in my opinion that there are some things in your personal life that are just that... personal. You don't have to express to your parents every aspect of your life in order to maintain a healthy relationship to them, and in my opinion weed isn't such a "big deal" that it needs to be brought out into the open and shared. It's a personal choice for your lifestyle. If you really feel the need to discuss this with him, I would follow some of the advice you've already been given by these fine blades. I would wait until you're out of college, in a career and moving forward in life with your much deserved success before you BLAM it out on the table. That way, if things DO go south (and I certainly pray they do not) you do not have any financial or material ties to them and can at least say to yourself "eh, I'm making it on my own tho." Hope it goes well in whatever you decide!