Hey GC, hope everybody's doing well. Well, I've been having an interesting few months, to say the least, and the recent events in my life and problems that have come up are finally starting to sink in. Guess I'll just start from the top. I've never done well in school, I was one of the stoner kids and gave very little thought into how well I did or what I would do once I got out of high school. So fast forward two years, and here I am. I did part time work for the first year out of school. It wasn't too bad for the first while, I had a lot of good friends and enjoyed the newfound freedom of being out of school. I worked hard, and I was told by the managers at my workplace that I was one of the best workers they've ever had. But then there was my supervisor. She was a complete bitch, and no matter how well I worked, it was never good enough. My hours got cut to the point that I decided to quit. This was about a year and a half ago. Three months later, I get a job at my friend's father's bakery as a delivery driver. Great job, but very little hours. But in the small town where I was from, it was near impossible to find work, so I took what I could get. I kept this job for 3 months, until my family had to move because of my father's job. We moved out to Smithers, BC. It's in Northern BC, and is a beautiful town. Big place for Skiing and Snowboarding, a real resort town. Problem here is that, like my old town, it has no fucking jobs. I've applied at numerous places, presented myself well, and I'm even trying to improve my education to improve my chances of landing a job. But no, there's jack shit here. Moving out and going somewhere else just isn't an option for me either. I have nowhere to stay, nowhere to go, no job, no money, and a shit education so Uni is out until I improve my marks. Also, about two months ago, I found out that I have Epilepsy. Not fun, I'll tell you that. They're full on Grand Mal fuckers too so I'm pretty much out for a week every time one happens. Luckily my meds seem to be getting it under control, but I'm without a licence for half a year, and it severely limits the number of jobs that would be considered safe for me to perform. On top of all that, I have severe depression. It has affected me for pretty much all my life, but I've recently been prescribed to anti-depressants that seem to help, but only for a little while. As of right now, I don't think they're working at all for me. So what made me snap? What has driven me to create this pointless thread? Was it being unemployed? Epileptic? Limited job options? Poor education? No license to drive? Depression? No, it was none of those. What is really bringing me down right now is the deep loneliness I feel. I have no friends here. I can't go to the bar because of my meds and the lack of money, there are no events going on that I am interested in, I'm not religious so no church, I just feel lost. All my friends I can only talk to through text, but it's just not the same... I try to keep my head up. I really do, but these things just add up on me and I'm having trouble keeping it together. Thanks for reading my vent, it feels a little better just to let it all out, you know? I'll end this now, and get back to being the Gooseman you've come to know and love. Peace. TL;DR: Having no job, a poor education, Epilepsy, depression, losing your driver's licence, and being alone has destroyed my spirits.
I think that you do have the capacity to change things but have to do it one step at a time. Something like, first save up enough money to move somewhere with a better job market and local universities. Apply for students loans, grants, and scholarships and apply to universities. If you can prove that you're under financial hardship like you say, you will get money for college even though you might not have the choice pickings of US colleges (take what you can get). Then go to school and work part time to start paying off the loans.
Well thanks for trying to help dude, but the situation is a little more difficult than that. I mentioned my education is shit. I'm taking courses to improve the marks, but it will take over a year, maybe two, to get them up to date. It's the loneliness, depression, and Epilepsy that are really bringing me down. The unemployment, education, and licence issues just add to the fire more than anything.
Ah, yeah. I have my fair share of medical issues. I don't think anyone here can say anything that would help you deal with those. We just have to face them and deal with them the best way we can. For the education though, I definitely recommend doing two years at a community college and completely knocking out the general ed. requirements before transferring to a university and getting your Bachelors. Community colleges have 2 huge perks: (1) they are dirt cheap with tuition, and (2) they pretty much eliminate the poor grades you got in high school. They'll accept almost anyone and the university you transfer to will probably just focus on your grades at the community college (unless it's an ivy or something).
I know it makes things a little difficult man, but you'll find something I'm sure. You can always make up time working as a paint shaker.
What you just said there is what I'm already doing. In Canada, community college is where your take high school courses for adults. I may not have been too blunt (pun intended) with this, but I'm just frustrated with things in my life, and nothing more. I am not confused as to what I should do, where I should go, or where I am headed. Once again, I thank you for trying to help, but it's like preaching to the choir.
It was just venting. I needed an outlet, and the City was the place to do it for me. All I really wanted was for somebody to hear what I had to say. My major issues are psychological, and only I can really deal with them. I thank you for actually reading my story though, I really do appreciate it, even if I am coming across otherwise.