Well friends, I just arrived at my new college (I won't say which one but a good hint is its the 2nd most prestigious in DC and its known as gay double jew) and I'm really having a tough time. My main problem is I'm in one room with three other guys, I'm used to being able to do at least one hour of meditation a day and have really been struggling to find time to do this since I got here. I also haven't really fit in since I got here since it's one of those rich preppy schools and most everyone feels the need to assert their immenent ascent as supreme ruler of the world. I'm currently in the engineering school but I really want to transfer out of it since I no longer have any interest in pursuing math and science, the only problem is my scholarship is contigent on me remaining in the engineering department. I talked to my parents about me feeling almost at my wits end here and they emailed someone here about it and now I'm getting contacted by all sorts of counselors and other people here which is nice but almost counterproductive since I really want to transfer out of here asap and since they work here theyre trying really hard to convince me to stay. Anyway, I've been feeling really shitty and have been relieving most of my feelings by trying to find any sort of solitude I can in the city, I go for a lot of walks on the national mall but still its not the same. I'm trying to get my room swapped to a single or least a double if possible but even that takes at least 2 weeks. The only thing I'm looking forward to is that I get to go home this weekend and I mean that's the only thing. I haven't smoked any green since I got here but I'm not really even looking since I don't wanna just cover up these bad feelings and I don't have anyone in particular I want to smoke with. They all just get drunk every night and look down on potsmokers, fuckers. Anyway, I really just wanna get out of here. I've been deeply studying many different religions in my free time over the past 2 years and have finally realized that's what I wanna do, maybe be a pastor or something. I know they can be intolerant but I appreciate all religions because I see the common root they have. I told my parents this but they really want me to stick it out at least for one semester. I don't see why cause it's not like any of these classes are gonna help if that's what I wanna do. They think I'm throwing away a golden opportunity but I really don't see it that way, I came here and found it that this sort of cutthroat culture is the exact opposite of me, these douches just piss me off. They're intelligent enough but so cynical and have some snarky, premade response for everything. I haven't heard anything original since I got here, just taking my words and snickering at in. I know this post is long but I really tried to pour everything into it I've been thinking. What do you guys think, I believe I have a true calling for religion. I've found some some more esoteric, mystical teachings and putting them into practice has completely transformed my life from negative to positive. Isn't that some indication of a calling? Let me know guys I really just need to talk to some people that aren't tools. I'm going out now but I'll be back in about an hour and a half to check up on this thread
Not trying to be an ass man, trust me. But you talk about mystical teachings transforming your life, yet here you are, not even 1 day into your college experience, and you're already judging these guys as "tools." Seems to me like you need to put more of your spirituality into practice. I know what school you're at, being from the DC region myself and having many friends who went there, and honestly it's going to be a tough road for you. It's a tough school, and it's a tough crowd to fit into. But maybe this is your chance to REALLY live your spirituality. Maybe this is where you need to be to learn compassion and to learn how to soften your unrighteous judgments. Maybe this is the next step in your spiritual evolution. God is everywhere: in the most evil people, all the way up through the most saintly. Learn to seek Him out everywhere. Also, being from that area myself, there are tons of places you can go for solitude. You don't need to meditate in your dorm room. Go outside. Just some thoughts that I wanted to share with you.
go for it man, live the life you want. I lacked religion for many years and a few bad events led me back into it. it brings me such peace. maybe that environment just isn't the right one for you. you need to figure out what works for you. unfortunately money fuels our society and thats how your parents came to their reasoning. i got to college and my roommates were all weed friendly, and we shared common interests. we spent hours chillin in our suite, smokin up the bathroom destressing from school work. maybe you just need something like that, in a place were its a subject you want to study such as religion.
I don't think you dropping out at this stage will be beneficial at all. University isn't for everyone, but I don't think you can judge it based off such a short experience, although I must concede i'd also have real problems living in the same room as three guys I didn't like . But try and get to know them and give them a chance, they might be nice guys underneath everything, you never know, and you shouldn't be so judgmental, you've only just met them. If you want some peace and quiet, go to a park somewhere and find a nice spot, or go to the library, you won't be alone but it'll be quiet. Give it a bit more time, at least a term or two, though i'd give it a whole year before deciding. Spirituality is all well and good, and i'm not saying you shouldn't pursue what interests and inspires you, but give it more time, if you drop out now you could end up regretting that decision the rest of your life. In my very humble opinion it's worth persevering with it for a while longer before you make such a big decision.
Go to Georgetown hit the hookah and alcohol bars and make new some friends. Do you have any ideal what goes on in late nite in DC? You may find a beautiful woman who could turn your life around. Never Alone