FIRST, NOT SUICIDAL, DONT WANNA DIE but my girl is mad about work, taking it out on me, and we had our first real fight (after being together since 16, now im 21) my dads in the hospital i think, my stepmom might be lying, but i dont even know...i mean poppa-dukes might have fucked up my life and my moms, but hes still my father, and i still fucking love him...dont know if its true, but i dont want to see my dad die, i just dont need that shit right now my little brother ran away to go to a party wednesday night...still not back, phone is off, dont want to call the cops to look for him...hes on probation, he will go back to jail, and he came out of jail worse than he went in last time and i keep running these numbers on our finances, but they arent adding up, moneys missing, it has to be, theres no other way... my mom hates doctors, but i keep watching her get sicker and sicker... im just not understanding this shit man ive always done everything right, ive worked my ass off to make any sort of life for myself, made dollars from quarters, always tried to stay with my feet on the ground, always been nice and respectful of everyone my ex-bestfriend just relapsed too, back with a fucking needle in his arm...i thought he was getting better, and i just cant watch it anymore, hes dying in front of me basically what the fuck did i do for this shit to come back at me, sure i was a little bit of a dick to a few people, but thats because they got back what they gave...seriously, every time i start getting back on my feet, im just pushed back down, and walked on by life... i dont see why, i just dont see why... last night i got drunk (still getting drunk) got really high too...and i was trying to have some thoughts other than just whats going on, but it made it worse, so when i tried to even think about it...shit just seemed wayyy to complicated... i really dont even know what to think, i really dont...
Hey man, I hope things start to work out. You know I'm there for you on aim, hell, who am I talking to right now via aim? Haha. You're a good guy, things will work out for you. Here's some good karma.
Wow, thats a lot to deal with, Im sorry you are going through so much. If I may offer a suggestion, take some deep breaths,get away from everyone for like an hour, and go for a walk somewhere nice, likea park or something. Breathe deep. Realize that some of the stuff thats going on is beyond your control. That doesnt mean it doesnent hurt any less, but that there is only so much you can do. as far as your brother goes, Im not really for calling the cops but if hes been missing for this long it might be prudent to report him as misisng, I know hes on probation but I personally think its better to find him mad then to find him dead. or not at all. Sorry im not trying to scare you. As far as you and your gf, fights happen, take this as a good time to step back and cool off, becasue you have a lot going on. Im not sure really waht to say about your friend, except that its a horrible thig to see someoen you care about just waste away from drugs, I hope he gets help ASAP. If you can , visit your dad in the hospital, bring him some of his fav food, and just talk im sure he would appreciate that. I dunno waht to tell you about the finances, just to keep checking the numbers? I hope that helps, if you need to talk feel free to PM me.
Hey man, hang in there things always have to get worse before they get better! And honestly, unless this is something your brother does a lot of, I would call the cops, you guys are out in the boonies man, bad idea if someone is wandering around fucked up out in the woods. If ya need me dude, shoot me a pm we'll chat
my pops is all over on the otherside of the US, cali from CT? i got community college, and work for my sister (she has a different pops), as for my brother, i just cant send the cops after him...i know hes not dead, just went to a party with some people, and he probably just doesnt wanna come home for a few days... its just kinda fucking with me, cause im getting into a nicer life, having extra moneys, looking at houses, about to start a family, and its scaring me right now too... just fuckin with my head ya know?...i took a hike this morning, felt nice, didnt want to leave, but dep came and like "paths are closed for today, open back up tomorrow" and told me to leave...oh well...i thought when you worked harder life was supposed to be easier...if thats the case, i should be living a pretty easy life right now...