Just cut ties with my father.

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by ScotchnCoke, Feb 6, 2014.

  1. Today I had an argument with my dad and I think we won't talk ever again... He went into jail when I was 6 for murder, but I remember him always being a bad person. He used to a use my mum and I never really was attached to him. I visited him in jail until I was around 12 years old and could actually comprehend how miserable he made my mum be, she told me everything and I made a decision then and there to stop talking to him forever, my mum then bought me up on her own and filled the dad role amazingly and I love her more than anything.

    It wasn't until I was 21 years old and actually saw my dad again randomly at the casino and he gave me his number in case I ever wanted to catch up and he told me 12 years in prison changed him for the better. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and decided to get to know him, I told my mum and she was unhappy but she understood and agreed that he was indeed my father and maybe he could have changed... Everything seemed well to begin with, he acted very normal. Was looking for work and then he started doing bad shit again (won't go into detail) it even got to the point where my girlfriend at the time left me because she just couldn't be around someone like that.

    He hung out with some pretty bad cats and even tried getting me involved in some shit, I wasn't even seeing him on a weekly basis but even still he managed to spread negativity to me.
    We stopped talking again because he blamed me for stealing something of his (which I did not) until he showed up to my house on Christmas while my mother was overseas and apologised to me, a couple of weeks later he asked me to help him with a online course (and by help I mean do the whole thing) I agreed as I would of liked him to get a real job and not make money in the wrong way, something went wrong with the payments and he blamed it all on me and pretty much guilt tripped me into sorting out ways to fix his debt until today when I just lost it on the phone to him because he was saying how much he has given me... I got really emotional because in all honesty for a second I experienced how my mum felt for all those years and just blasted him saying to never contact me again.

    After a long series of bongs tonight I've finally just come to terms with things and I'm quite relieved it's all over... I'm such a straight boring person, I work a normal life, I don't fuck with anyone, I play games, I smoke weed. That's the normality I love.

    Thanks for hearing me out, it's been a shitty day.

    Irritated when I'm not sedated.
  2. Sad that your dad tried to be a parasite and use you as a host...
    good luck.
  3. Fucking sad mate. But you'll do better without him. You tried to help him. But you can't help someone that won't help themselves. And it was unfair, and wrong for him to put his bullshit on you. It's his life. He needs to sort it out. You just keep yours sorted. And be prepared for him to keep coming around. Because that is what users do. Just keep ignoring him, and eventually he'll move on to someone else.
  4. Sounds like he did not learn a thing but how to be a manipulative con-man.
    You dont have to pack his negative baggage around for him any more.
  5. Fuck him who needs people like that
  6. I'm very sorry that had to happen that way.
    You deserve much better. Good for you for making that decision. It will reward you greatly.
    Enjoy those tokes, brother!
  7. Thanks guys. It will be a peaceful sleep in tomorrow for me on my day off. :)

    Irritated when I'm not sedated.
  8. You earned it, man! This next hit is for you  :bongin:  away with negativity!
  9. #9 Storm Crow, Feb 6, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 6, 2014
    Just always be your Mama's boy, not your father's son, and you'll do fine!  And take all that love that should have gone to a father and give it all to your Mom- SHE deserves it!
    And sad to say, I think you did exactly the right thing. You might even want to change your phone number to prevent further contact! Some people help you soar to whatever heights you're are able to obtain, like your Mom. Others, just drag you down, like your dad, and should be avoided.
    Since people can change, I would still run a search on dad in about 10 years (if he survives that long). There are places, that for a few bucks, will give you his current address and info whatever he has criminal record. If he is still racking up criminal charges, totally write him off!
  10. Thanks this really made me smile :) and you are right about my mum deserving it. We may not see each other all the time but we are pretty close.

    I don't care what he does anymore as long as it's away from me and my interests.

    Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
  11. Sounds like a bad day man, you'll be good though, you managed so long without him and at least you've realised that he isn't having any positive effects on your life and have done something about it.
    Good for you, and hopefully he won't bother you and will let you make your own decision on seeing him again!
  12. He's not your dad dude. He was just a sperm donor. Dads take care of their own, even if they're fuckheads. Don't even spare him a thought.
  13. That really sucks man. At least you tried to reconnect with him and help him, he chose to not change and use you. Nothing more you can do at this point besides cut him out of your life for the better.

    Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum mobile app
  14. So true.
    Any man can father a child, a real man is a Dad to a child. :smoke:
  15. Your dad sounds like a manipulative sociopath, and it sounds like you're far better off without him in your life. It's painful, I know, but you can always look at yourself in the mirror and know that you're at least one hundred times the man that he is.
    That's a lot of weight to carry. Just know, you're already the better man to your mother then he ever will be.
  17. Nigga was slangin that whiiiiite
  18. Sounds like your mother shaped you into a solid man with good decision making capabilities. You're dealing with some heavy stuff, but you've  got your head on straight, good for you. 
    Sometimes I read threads like these and I worry about the people posting. Not you, if you keep making the right decisions you'll go far in life. Keep trusting the people that have been there for you. Good luck bud!
  19. You are.hands down better off without him. It's.good.to.hear your content.with not seeing him rather than being in denial, trying to convince yourself you don't miss him. Your mother sounds like an incredible lady, focus on your relationship with her, she's obviously worth it

    Sent from my ST26a using Grasscity Forum mobile app
  20. Some times it's for the best man. When I was 16 I cut my dad out of my life, for reasons I won't get into. It wasn't until I met my fiancé and she encouraged me to try and make amends that I reached out. Six years later.

    We still don't have a relationship and to this day he still holds the belief that I'm pushing him away for nothing. Somethings are better left to the past so that you may walk your own future.

    Sent from my SGH-T889 using Grasscity Forum mobile app

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