Today I had an argument with my dad and I think we won't talk ever again... He went into jail when I was 6 for murder, but I remember him always being a bad person. He used to a use my mum and I never really was attached to him. I visited him in jail until I was around 12 years old and could actually comprehend how miserable he made my mum be, she told me everything and I made a decision then and there to stop talking to him forever, my mum then bought me up on her own and filled the dad role amazingly and I love her more than anything. It wasn't until I was 21 years old and actually saw my dad again randomly at the casino and he gave me his number in case I ever wanted to catch up and he told me 12 years in prison changed him for the better. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and decided to get to know him, I told my mum and she was unhappy but she understood and agreed that he was indeed my father and maybe he could have changed... Everything seemed well to begin with, he acted very normal. Was looking for work and then he started doing bad shit again (won't go into detail) it even got to the point where my girlfriend at the time left me because she just couldn't be around someone like that. He hung out with some pretty bad cats and even tried getting me involved in some shit, I wasn't even seeing him on a weekly basis but even still he managed to spread negativity to me. We stopped talking again because he blamed me for stealing something of his (which I did not) until he showed up to my house on Christmas while my mother was overseas and apologised to me, a couple of weeks later he asked me to help him with a online course (and by help I mean do the whole thing) I agreed as I would of liked him to get a real job and not make money in the wrong way, something went wrong with the payments and he blamed it all on me and pretty much guilt tripped me into sorting out ways to fix his debt until today when I just lost it on the phone to him because he was saying how much he has given me... I got really emotional because in all honesty for a second I experienced how my mum felt for all those years and just blasted him saying to never contact me again. After a long series of bongs tonight I've finally just come to terms with things and I'm quite relieved it's all over... I'm such a straight boring person, I work a normal life, I don't fuck with anyone, I play games, I smoke weed. That's the normality I love. Thanks for hearing me out, it's been a shitty day. Irritated when I'm not sedated.