just broke up with my gf of 3 years

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by HighHaze, Aug 12, 2009.

  1. #1 HighHaze, Aug 12, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 12, 2009
    she was my first true GF (minus all the puppy love relationships before that literally lasted no more than a week). I lost my virginity to her.

    It just wasnt working out though. I felt like the relationship held me back from being me. When i would play my music in the car when im driving, she would want to listen to something we both like (we dont really have anything in common when it comes to that). When i would want to blast the music and just vibe to the beat and lyrics, she would tell me to turn it down, and i usually did before she even asked me because i know how she is.....but even then she would tell me to turn it lower to the point where i cant hear anything.

    when i wanted to write music, she would want to talk on the phone. When I wanted to play piano all night, she would want to hang out. When i wanted to go to the gym and workout, she would want to come preventing me from getting hyped for my workout (with the music). When i wanted some peace of mind, she wanted a piece of me.

    I've tolerated it for too long to the point where I didnt even notice how much it bothered me. Recently she reitterated what I already thought and told me that im married to my music...and I told her thats why we cant be. I'm already in a relationship.

    we shared some tears (her more than me of course)....i didnt wanna cry but she made me tear damn it. she's never seen me cry either.

    Im not that sad anymore, just very reminiscent. think im gonna write a song...
  2. If you loved this chick you should have stuck with her. Its not too late man, just let her know that this time music is going to come before anything else. And if she wan'ts compromise than she can give up a few things as well. Give and take brotha, give and take.
  3. i've tried it already man, it didnt work. I told her how important music was to me and that I even put it before her. it still didnt work out. she would cry because I dont spend as much time with her as she wants.

    relationships arent for me. I want to devote my life to me and no one else. I've been extremely introverted my whole life and this is just how I am....I really dont want to sacrifice living my life how I want to live it for a relationship. im done with them period, I dont think any girl would understand this. I have periods of times where I just want to be alone, sometimes for weeks, months even. im too self-absored to share my whole life with someone else.

    fuck this tolerance break shit, i wish i had some weed right now.
  4. Nah, im sure it wasnt a spur of the moment thing, and youve put some thought into it..

    If she was holding you back from being you then the only thing you coulda done was either talk about it and try to fix it (which im sure happened) or take the harder route and end it..

    Good luck with ya music and shit cuz.. And with ya future relationships..
  5. Not sure if you're into this type of music, but here's a song dealing with that kind of situation:

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHH8QWEkq10]YouTube - Asheru - Dear You[/ame]

    I've never been there, but I've had girls be pissed at me for spending more time with my hobbies than them. I can understand their sentiments, but it's all about what makes you the happiest, ya know? Take 'er easy man.
  6. this is what im thinking too. i don't want children either (at least thats my choice right now). it's good to hear from someone in the same boat as me...its like reading my own thoughts.
    i've thought about it for a while. too long maybe. I already knew it couldnt work but tried to anyway and just suppressed the thought. thanks for the response bro.
    thats the thing....music alone can separate me from my gf and i havent even touched up on the other hobbies of mine.

    thanks for the track
  7. Not gonna lie or try to offer advice, I just think it's simply fascinating when people decide to remove themselves from the gene pool, it's almost the pinnacle of subconscious self-loathing, right behind suicide.
  8. maybe because i do feel like shit and wouldnt mind dying right now, but I feel like once I have a kid then i would have to put my hobbies aside....just like being in the relaionship.
  9. ending such a long relationship is so difficult.
    my boy and i have been standing on the fence, trying to figure out if we're supposed to keep going together or go our separate ways for some time now.
    i'm glad you feel ok about your decision. make sure you stick to it if it's what you truly want. don't cave just to make her happy, or to resolve your feelings for the time being. it'll just make things EVEN HARDER in the future. if that's even fathomable.
    i'm here if you wanna PM or anything.
    stay strong, music man. :)
    keep your head up.
  10. Based on reading this, I do not think you should do acid at all.

    You need to reconnect with yourself before doing any kind of psychadelics.

    I'm sorry to hear this, but it'll make you stronger. When I broke up with my ex it was the end of the world... of so i thought. ;)

    Mrs. Right will come along someday.
  11. yea, its so hard because i thought that this is really what i wanted without a question.....now im just wondering if i lost something really great :confused:. the grass is always greener on the other side...
    i know i shouldnt, i dont know what i was thinking....i havent smoked in almost a month with no problem and now im craving so bad and just want to get blowed the fuck out or smoke myself to sleep or something. anything to get me away from this state of mind.
  12. And whys that?

    You wanna see kids grow up with parents that dont even wanna be parents? If a dude isnt ready to be a father then why spawn..

    Personally i think its the RESPONSIBLE thing to do, until you have ya head on ya shoulders and know where ya goin in life.

    I have a 4 year old son, and I have definitely not been the "ideal" father, and sometimes it makes me wish I didnt have him.. but at the same time, he is the only thing that keeps me goin and keeps me sane..
  13. check your inbox

    and to ^^ I'm pretty sure I put the reason why I think it's fascinating right at the end of my sentence. ..wait lemme check...yeah there it is...:smoking:
  14. Yea...and my point still stands..
  15. I have two kids from two girls I can barely breathe! Youll be ok you dont need to drop lsd to make yourself happy you must learn to accept what happens.
  16. Quit it now, You two!

    OP, i missed something when i read it before. You wanna be alone for weeks on end NOW, but when you're older you'll start feeling like music isn't enough.

    That's when she'll walk into your life.

    (OR EVEN BETTER, you could find yourself a girl who is just into her music as you are yours. Maybe she'll dig your music too!)
  17. i would love for that to happen, but i doubt it would. I have yet to meet a person who is into music as much as I am, not to mention it is already hard finding a classy girl nowadays...its whatever. im not thinking about a next relationship right now, more like gettin blitzed n fucked up
  18. My boyfriend is really into his music, but he also is the one who taught me to play bass.

    So, i know what goes into it. ;)
  19. a bass playin beez? hawt.

    bass is hella relaxing to just sit down and chill with
  20. haha barfdog just sent me this spirituality audiobook and i listened to a bit of it while scraping some resin from my bong (didnt think i would be able to get enough but i did....i was still paying 100% to the audio book though) and it basically reitterated some good things that i read from a book I read some a few months ago but stopped after a few hundred pages and didnt finish (dunno why...my life was much happier when i was reading it but i usually bounce between hobbies).

    it was basically telling you how you are not your mind, and you are not your thoughts.

    so i took 2 big hits of the DREADED RESIN (so what) after a month T-break and was high as hell listening to some good music and felt so good i started doing the usual smile/dance/headnod thing......Then right after i felt like i started overanalyzing to another degree (i usually do sober anyway but not as much) about the whole music/gf situation and then came to some conclusion that was so wild that I stopped dancing right in my tracks(no recollection of the thought at all) , I remembered that I am not my thoughts.

    Then I just started groovin n dancin again then this dope instrumental came on that i was diggin, and decided to freestyle to it (which I never do, im a writer). I would luckily get a few lines on a normal day, but this time I went for like 2 minutes straight and I literally wasn't even thinking because I remembered what the audiobook said. When i freestyled before I would prob. be thinking too hard about what to say so when i stopped, everything just flowed.....perfect :smoking:. Shit made me so happy and made my night.

    sorry if this doesnt make sense.....u know my state of mind :bongin:

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