MJ ones. Now I love MJ but these are just funny When does Michael Jackson go to bed? When the big hand touches the little hand Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart? Because he heard boys' pants were half off bahahahaha
why did michael jackson call boys II men?...because he thaught it was a delivery service. What did the woman sunbathing say to michael jackson?....GET OUT OF MY SUN! I used to know more but i dont really remember them
ok there was 3 guys driving from ohio to flordia and their car broke down in the middle of no where in kentucky. So the guys decided to walk and try to find a house, they walk for about 2 hours when they finally come to this little farm house. Relieved that they finally found someone they knock on the door. An old man probably in his 80's came to the door and asked what they wanted. One the the guys named Ryhan looked at the old man and said our car broke down we need a place to stay for the night. The old man stepped back and rubbed his bald head and asked who are those other boys. Ryhan replied this is chris and jeff, thew old man said alright you can stay in the barn if you don't drink or do drugs, the guys agreed to it and headed to the barn. The next morning the old man wakes up and walks out to the barn, he opened the door and there were beer cans, liquior bottles, needles, crushed pills, an ounce of weed, ect. So the old man wakes the boys up and tells them each to go to his garden and bring back a fruit. Well jeff came back with a lemon and chris came with a cherry, The old man instructed jeff to stick the lemon up his asshole and if he laughs he dies. So jeff stuck it up his ass and started laughing and fell over dead. The old man then looks at chris and out of nowhere chris started laughing and fell over dead. Jeff and Chris was sitting on a cloud together and jeff looked at chris and asked him why he started laughing before he shoved the cherry up his ass and Chris smiled and said I saw Ryhan coming with a watermelon.
hahahhahahhahaha okay so a white guy is driving down the street and he doesnt like black people .. as he is driving he sees one on the sidewalk and was like man i really hate them .. and runs him over and drives off .. so he continues down the street and sees a priest and figures ill pick him up and be agood crhistan to take him to church (or wherever he was going) so the priest is in the passanger seet and he is driving down the street. The driver sees another blackman but rembers the priest in the car so he decides to hit the black guy but make it look like an accident. He starts to pretend to does off to sleep and veer twords the black guy. He hears a thump and quickly raises his head and was like "omg did i hit that man" and the priest says no u jist missed him i had to open my door to get him!
So your punchline is 'the priest, too, hates black people' Pfffffft What's that gotta do with Michael?
oo i didnt see the line that said mj ones i jsut saw jokes and jokes and jokes and his joke and the other guys jokes so i thought they were just any jokes (talkin about cat_eyes) cause his wasnt about mj ither .. sorry!
The Feline Diet The Feline Diet Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! This diet will also work on humans! Except for cats that eat like people -- such as getting lots of table scraps -- most cats are long and lean (or tiny and petite). the Cat Miracle Diet will help you achieve the same lean, svelte figure. Just follow this diet for one week and you'll find that you not only look and feel better, but you will have a whole new outlook on what constitutes food. Good Luck! DAY ONE Breakfast: Open can of expensive gourmet cat food. Any flavor as long as it cost more the .75 per can -- and place 1/4 cup on your plate. Eat 1 bite of food; look around room disdainfully. Knock the rest on the floor. Stare at the wall for awhile before stalking off into the other room. Lunch: Four blades of grass and one lizard tail. Throw it back up on the cleanest carpet in your house. Dinner: Catch a moth and play with it until it is almost dead. Eat one wing. Leave the rest to die. Bedtime snack: Steal one green bean from your spouse's or partner's plate. Bat it around the floor until it goes under the refrigerator. Steal one small piece of chicken and eat half of it. Leave the other half on the sofa. Throw out the remaining gourmet cat food from the can you opened this morning. DAY TWO Breakfast: Picking up the remaining chicken bite from the sofa. Knock it onto the carpet and bat it under the television set. Chew on the corner of the newspaper as your spouse/partner tries to read it. Lunch: Break into the fresh French bread that you bought as your part of the dinner party on Saturday. Lick the top of it all over. Take one bite out of the middle of the loaf. Afternoon snack: Catch a large beetle and bring it into the house. Play toss and catch with it until it is mushy and half dead. Allow it to escape under the bed. Dinner: Open a fresh can of dark-colored gourmet cat food -- tuna or beef works well. Eat it voraciously. Walk from your kitchen to the edge of the living room rug. Promptly throw up on the rug. Step into it as you leave. Track footprints across the entire room. DAY THREE Breakfast: Drink part of the milk from your spouse's or partner's cereal bowl when no one is looking. Splatter part of it on the closest polished aluminum appliance you can find. Lunch: Catch a small bird and bring it into the house. Play with on top of your down filled comforter. Make sure the bird is seriously injured but not dead before you abandon it for someone else to have to deal with. Dinner: Beg and cry until you are given some ice cream or milk in a bowl of your own. Take three licks/laps and then turn the bowl over on the floor. FINAL DAY Breakfast: Eat 6 bugs, any type, being sure to leave a collection of legs, wings, antennae on the bathroom floor. Drink lots of water. Throw the bugs and all of the water up on your spouse's or partner's pillow. Lunch: Remove the chicken skin from last night's chicken-to-go leftovers your spouse or partner placed in the trash can. Drag the skin across the floor several times. Chew it in a corner and then abandon. Dinner: Open another can of expensive gourmet cat food. Select a flavor that is especially runny, like Chicken and Giblets in Gravy. Lick off all the gravy and leave the actual meat to dry and get hard.