Jesus goes into a bar...? Jesus goes into a bar and sits at a table in the corner. A janitor, a cab driver and a medical marijuana patient are in the bar. They're staring at the man sitting by himself, at a table in the corner. He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad. They stare and stare, until suddenly the janitor says: 'My God, it's Jesus!' Sure enough, it is Jesus nursing a pint. Thrilled, they send him over a a beer, a shot of Jim Beam and a shot of Jack respectively. Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the them slowly, one after another. After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio. He reaches for the hand of the janitor and shakes it thanking him for the beer. When he lets go, the janitor gives a cry of amazement: 'My God, the arthritis I've had for thirty years is gone. It's a miracle!' Jesus then shakes the hand of the cab driver, thanking him for the J.B.. As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock. 'Praise god, the back pain I've had all my life is completely gone! It's a miracle.' Jesus then approaches the medical marijuana patient who knocks over a chair and a table in trying to get away from the Son of God. 'What's wrong?' says Jesus. He shouts, 'F**k off, I'm on disability benefit!'