That be me. I don't know. 30. Smoking for about 3 years now. Leading up to that I drank heavy, spent money I didn't have, and was generally effing up. I've had dysthemia (low grade depression,) insomnia, anxiety, panic, along with tinitus (constant ringing of the ears...) some since at least high school... Pretty sure it all stems from ADD. In high school I got so much exercise on a regular basis (mostly out of hyperactivity) that I would be physically numb because my body was so tired, but I usually wouldn't be able to sleep because of constant thoughts and zoning out into day dreams keeping me from sleep (hard to explain). Once I got to college I didn't get nearly that much exercise and it made me struggle with classes and all that... I think my intelligence along with the somewhat structure of college allowed me to perform well...but my drinking and carousing didn't help my mentality. Once I got to the work place I was a mess...drinking more and more to fight off the inner struggle and restlessness, getting more tired day by day. Started working out to drink less and 'be healthier' but I got hyperfocused on lifting, but not the form of lifting...and my body couldn't take anymore...finally I threw my back out so bad i couldn't get out of bed to get to work...I went on the look for pain pills thankfully I only found weed (pain pills would have hooked me easily.) With weed, and what you could call Yoga, my back was well on its way to recovery within days (and I've learned so much about my physical being, muscle balance, mind body connection, how its all connected, how this relates to that, and so on.) The first time I had no clue what to think, an amazing feeling so different from what I had ever felt... the second time I realized that I felt 'normal'...THIS IS WHAT NORMAL PEOPLE MUST FEEL LIKE! What an amazing feeling. What an unbelievable thing to be able to rationally explain the outside world what my thoughts and beliefs are. What a respite to relax after years of absolute tension! What a miracle to realize my mental state and to understand that there really IS something wrong with me that can be helped! What a relief to know that I don't have to end up an alcoholic/pain pill addict... What a relief to know I won't end up shooting myself 10 years down the road because if nothing else, if there is no therapy or 'real' medicine that can help me, I know I'll at least have cannabis. If society could just understand, if people were able to use RATIONAL thinking rather than go straight to their American conditioning and block out rationale, we might start getting somewhere and really start down the road to finding the American dream. I love America, but it amazes me that in 2010 we're more naive than ever. The fairy tales we believe and the lies we take for truths astound me. The only difference between our generations and the people of centuries past is that we've figured out that the world isn't flat... It just makes me embarassed. I don't know...it makes me sad that people who are helped even more by cannabis than I am can't get it or are made criminals and ruined socially because they're doing something that is so positive in their lives. Just sad. Anyways, that's my deal...