Ive Lost My Whole Family, Im In Need Of A Little Support!!!!

Discussion in 'General' started by chicken, Jul 12, 2007.

  1. Anything in excess can lead to pretty bad situations and I don't care what name is on the label.

    Sometimes, though frustrating, these things that happen are for the better. Trying to hold a family together can often be more troubling than letting them separate, especially when addiction is a factor of instability.
     
  2. .............................damn.......................There is nothing noone can say that is gonna take the hurt away.....Just keep busy -very busy...stay positive laugh n cut up with friends and clean up any bad background you got....
     
  3. now i know how my dad felt. except he didnt get custody of me and my bro. he fought for 3 years to get us and he did. i love him for that...i feel sorry for you man, this thing may have ruined your life for now, but dont let it ruin your sons
     
  4. It's okay dude, you did the right thing, no lies. But yeah dude it does suck. Crack makes people do some shit they wouldn't do sober. Your lady isn't looking too good for it, but she will be back, I can almost promise you that. It's just your choice to take her back or not. For me, I wouldn't take her back.

    But yeah dude, you sound pretty depressed about it, but if you just want to talk to someone, or even call, give me a PM.
     
  5. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ no i can never take her back,,,, once i turn my back on you,,, you may as well be dead!!!!

    for what she did,,, forgivness is not a option.. im so tired,, my eyes feel as though they weigh a pound....

    i've been getting my house to look as if someone actually lives here,, hanging '' my'' pictures,, putting my man stuff on the shelves,,,

    all this was stored in the shed,,, in a way im happy that finally, my house actually looks like a man occupies it.

    i got a date this weekend,,, and i plan on bringing this woman here,,, so im making it look presentable,,,, i am not moaping because of this,,,, it's been a long time coming,,,,, in my mind,,, i said goodbye to her months ago...

    i believe my son is over the initial drama,,, he's 6 ,,,, and yesterday he was acting like nothing went down.... and my family's behind me 100%.....

    they knew something was wrong here,, they just didnt know the extent of it.... i tried to keep my dirty laundry private....

    i feel a lot better today,, just tired,,, not much sleep last night.... see ya//
     
  6. My dad chose crack over his family, too. But that's ok, look where he is now. Friendless and alone a thousand miles away. Your soon to be ex will probably end up the same way. Eventually her daughter will bail out on her, and she won't have anyone to blame but herself. In ten years she'll wonder why her kids don't like her, if she's still alive.

    Hugs to you, chicken. You're being a better father by fighting for your son than many fathers I know. You are doing the right thing.

    Sorry, but I think this is a bad idea. You don't need to be distracted by another woman right now, and it's the last thing your son needs as well. His mommy just left only a day or two ago. She's still his mommy, regardless of how she left. Children that age can be remarkable resilient and amazingly fragile at the same time. A new lady-friend for daddy is a very bad idea right now.
     
  7. I agree with Hempress on this one. There will come a time where your son may look for another mother figure, but this is not the time to dangle one in front of him.

    Having his mother leave, dealing with the initial shock of going through these past few days and also having a new female in the house... It might be pretty chaotic for him.

    Then again, these situations really don't effect some children. I walked through my parent's divorce with the same stride as any other day. If you really think that he's past all of the past couple days' weirdness, then you might be able to put a new person near him sooner, rather than later.

    All in all, it's up to you. You know your son better than any of us.
     
  8. Sorry to hear man.

    Like everyone else said, you're doing the right thing...not only for yourself, but for your son as well.


    I have trouble with authority too, but blowing up in anyone's face isn't going to solve anything...and will only make more problems for your son. Keep a level head and let the record do the talking.

    Seems like she's lost a lot of her credibility to the courts.
     
  9. There's nothing more I can add to what everyone else has said bro [because I agree with it all]. Stay together for the kids man, and please, PLEASE don't land yourself in jail, what is your son gonna do? You have a level head and you're going in the right direction, just don't stray off the beaten path. Good things happen to good people...you and your family are in my prayers bro.
     
  10. yo man, this sucks. From what i've seen you're a good guy, don't let that woman ruin you.

    I agree with a lot of what has already been said here, but be clear to keep a level head man. If you stay calm, and truly think think think hard about it, remember you really can do damn near anything you want if you set your mind to it. Just don't get too angry, especially in court it will damage your credibility.

    I agree with a lot of what durchii has said, very wise posts. "In the end it's up to you, only you know your son better than any of us"

    I feel for ya man, tough times, tougher than anything i've been through in my life. I can't begin to imagine stuff you're going through.

    Stay strong man.
     
  11. Man if you passed the drug test, i don't understand why you didn't get full custody. You're best bet, is to higher the best lawyer you can and show how she is an un-fit mother. I wish you the best homie.
     
  12. Don't worry,things will work out fine because you are properly focused. When you go to court, wear the most impressive clothes you own, and stay focused. Appearance is very important. And the judge will most definately take into consideration the children's views. And from past experience working in the human service field, have found that authority figures like to keep children together, rather than seperate them. This works in your favor.
     


  13. I am so very sorry for what has happened/is happening in your life, but it boils down to not wanting a crackhead around my kids...

    Your quoted statement scares me though... You would 100% lose your son, likely for good... No matter how much you're pissed... it's not worth your son.
     
  14. so what happen to the daughter. Is she still with the wife?
     

  15. its in one of his posts.........they're with the godparents





    Keep your head up and good luck.....
     


  16. Crack is one of the scourges of humanity and as long as human beings have a choice, we'll choose things that aren't necessarily good for us. Notice what you just said in your statement above, she threw "it all away" for crack, not another man, more money, different surroundings, or status but crack. That statement alone says it all.

    It's your right to throw up your hands and give up on your wife, but before you do, don't forget empathy. She's fallen victim to the one of the many pitfalls that human beings succumb to, the least that you can do, in spite of your hurt and pain is understand. Your hurt is at the beginning of this; don't let it define how your situation unfolds. Maybe it's hopeless and she'll drift away from all of you, but as long as you maintain your presence of mind, love your children, and respect that not everyone makes good choices you'll be fine.



    My heart aches for your pain bro, I'm so sorry that you are hurting. Even as I've read all your words the reality of what's happening to you seems so far away but it isn't because it's real. Keep crying if you need to, let the genuine hurt that you feel find a healthy outlet for expression. So many of the guys that I know suffer such agonizing changes in their lives but the reservoir of emotional release remains hidden and untapped.

    "Let your tears come. Let them water your soul."

    ~Eileen Mayhew~



    You ask this question openly, but surely you must understand the answer. Why, would someone willingly choose a substance over their loved ones? Addictions cloud all reason and sense of right and wrong. Have you ever met a responsible "drug addict?"

    Why go to jail over someone else's suffering?



    Please don't close your heart bro, she doesn't ever have to be in your life, but don't do this because when you do you shut out the good experiences with the bad ones. Never make a decision of such a magnitude when the wounds of hurt are still fresh, more often than not the choice will be wrong.

    "Only your compassion and your loving kindness are invincible, and without limit."

    ~Thich Nhat Hanh~



    Sometimes it takes people years to get over the kind of loss and pain you're going through. Think long and hard before you invite someone else into your life while this is happening. All you'll be doing is clouding someone else's experience with the questions and uncertainty you have yet to resolved. Truth is, it's going to hurt for a bit but by the time the pain ends enlightenment begins.

    Nah, you haven't said goodbye yet, I could be wrong here but I don't think you're ready to say goodbye--your hurt is too raw. If you're not ready, be very deliberate and thoughtful about your actions and how those precious children factor into them.

    I wish you well brother...

    Stay green.
     
  17. Try to think optimisticly, theirs always a bright side to every dark side.
     
  18. i agree with you,,, i will proably have her just see where im living at,,, my son will be with his grand parents,, he wont even see her,,, but im not going to get in no kind of relationship, for a while,,, [ im too good looking of a fellow, i got to play the field!!!!]

    my first order of business is going to be,, appoligizing to the judge for my past actions..... and her credibility is lost,,, completly....

    i was thinking of this same thing today,,, im going to call the h.r.s. worker tomorrow, and find out why the grandparents were given temp. custody of him, instead of me,,, but he's right next door,,, so it's all good.
     
  19. thank you all for the support,,,, i may be a ''VERY COLD HEARTED INDIVIDUAL''' but i cried last night,,,, i said goodbye in my own way,,,,

    im over it now,,,, i feel liberated,,,, this is the second marriage ive lost to '' my wife's friends, '' they both chose thier destinies,,, i am so over it...

    pity is not in my vocabulary,,, once you cross me on certain issues,,,

    depending on the severity of the issue, depends on my response..... and as far as this issue goes,,,, you couldnt cross me in a worse way,,,,

    i'll lay a flower on her grave, and then piss on it.... because as far as im concerned she '' died'' last night......

    as it says in my sig. im a self described redneck,,,, and it couldnt be no further from the truth,,,,, it's the way i deal with things,,,,, and i dealt with it last night,,,,,, it's over!!!!! no more remorse!!!!!............ and no forgiveness....

    on the bright side, now i can bring my rooster inside,,, and let him hang out,,,, you just dont know how cool it is, to have him inside,, walking on the back of the couch,,, and crowing occasionally,,, [ proably calling for his hen]

    im o.k. people,,,,,, just a page of my life that i turned,,,,, thanks again,, all of you'll helped me a lot,,,,, you have no idea,,,,, how much your post's help me get over this,,,,,

    let's move on!!!!!
     

  20. pics or it didnt happen:smoke:
     

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