I've got a decision to make

Discussion in 'General' started by stonygurl, Jun 15, 2002.

  1. High guys, how's it goin'? Well, I'm good, I just have a difficult decision to make by Monday. I have a good-paying job right now, but the work can be pretty disheartening and stressful, almost every day I'm sick to my stomach doing this job..My co-workers tell me it gets easier after awhile, and that I am doing a good job. I sure like the money. I've got an ex-husband who doesn't pay child support regularly, and a son who is approaching his teen years in a hurry. He's getting more expensive to support *LOL* Not to mention, it's nice to have the money to buy weed whenever I want. Things have improved around here, now that I am actually making a wage I can live on.

    I have a job offer somewhere else, but it would be between $300-$500 less a month. (A large portion of my current income is based on commission). The potential for advancement is there, and there are quarterly bonuses and fully paid benefits (something I don't have at my current job). It would be less stressful, I'm pretty sure of that. BUT I just don't know what I should DO!!! I remember how stressed out I got when I struggled to pay my monthly bills, and we couldn't even afford cable tv. Do I just bite the bullet and keep pluggin' away, and hang in there for a few more years until I'm situated a little better with the finances, or do I take a chance with this other job and cut back for awhile until I've been there long enough to earn more money!? AAARGH!!! Some days I just don't think I can go on at my current job, but come payday I think, ahhh, it's worth it. And I have to ask myself if I would be even more stressed out living back on the wages I used to make!?

    Thanks for listening, I know this has to be my decision. This just seemed like a good place to put it into words. I'm going to do some hard thinkin this weekend, and hopefully by Monday I'll know what I am going to do. *crosses fingers* Wish me luck!!
  2. Thats a hard decission to make Stony. I have made a decission similar to that about a month ago. I had a contractor who just thought every one should bow down to his every demand. It was so stressfull just to talk to him on the phone. I finally told him to go to hell and I haven't regreted it since. He was a good paying contractor. Checks were here every friday and no money problems at all. But my decission was based on health issues. The more i worked for that bastard the worse my health got.

    Just keep in mind that you are the special person in your life. Make yourself happy!
  3. Thanks, you two. Critter, I just loooove your smilies, mate!

    Bud Head, it's nice to know someone else has had to face the same thing, thanks for the words of encouragement. I will let you know what I decide to do..Hey, maybe I should just pack up and move to TN and work for you!? hehe
  4. I understand your apprehension stonygurl,,my wife was at a job for 3years that stressed her to the point of emotional disaster. It even began to rock the house with silly arguements that made me take many walks for peace.lol

    Finally I had to put the 'ol foot down,,and told her that she must try another job,,or her family will continue to be a target for release of work frustrations,,which could destroy the family bond...

    She agreed,and nervously applied at another company,,waited for their new building to be finished,,then went to work for them at the same payscale that she had at the stress job..She and the family are now job stress free since the change,and my wife could not be more thankfull that she did it....

    If I had to choose less money more life,or more money less life,,,I would have to take less money,(I made that choice already,and I'm not regreting it),,I enjoy life to much to waste it making mega-money for "the establishment".
    Family means all to me....

    Tough decision you have to make,,,,hope this example adds to your list of debating ideas...and helps one way or another...


  5. The only thing missing here is you!!! Got plenty of work to do!
  6. LOL, looks like stonygurl may be Tenn. bound!! :D

    stonygurl, I'm sure you'll do what ya thinks right, but NO job is worth too much stress!!

    I'm going back to the B.S., but have to, to take care of the family!!

    Fully paid benefits, with a child, are priceless today!!
  7. This sounds like an argument that rumbles up in my mind from time to time.

    About 6 yrs. ago I was laid off from a good paying job. I had recall rights and was pretty sure that I would be back at work in a few months. Had plenty of unemployment $ coming so all I had to do was wait.

    Like I said, I was making damn fine money, but the job sucked! It was hell on earth inside this plant. However hot it was outside, you could tack on 30 degrees, and that's how hot it was inside! Nice medevial decor, chainlink fence and corrogated tin everywhere, everything painted battleship gray. Everybody in the place was always pissed about something. Extremely boring job! Push the button, make the part, repeat.

    It was a union shop too so there were rules out the wazoo! If you were doing good, you heard nothing, if you messed up, OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

    Needless to say, I had to get the big gun out and point it at my head to get myself to go in there everyday! I was always burnt out and tired when I got home. The place took the best part of me away for awhile.

    Right as I was being called back, another company called and wanted me! It was a much better working enviroment, much more challenging intellectually, good benefits, but I was going to be making about $8000 less a year! They were non-union and I would be starting at the bottom again, (something I excel at, cause I seem to do it all the time!) So I had a decison similar to yours to make.

    I took the new job! And even though we've had to struggle from time to time, it was way worth it. After 6 years I'm close to getting back to what I was making at the shitty job. But I'm a much happier person. I would'nt take all the money in the world for that!

    Sometimes even now I see I could drive 1 hour to the big city and be making $10,000 more a year! And I think for awhile that maybe thats what I should be doing. Is'nt that the great American way? The one with the most money wins?


    I'll take peace of mind any day!

    Two questions ya gotta ask;

    1. Can we get by on less money?
    2. Will the job affect time with my family?

    Sounds like the job you have now is eating at you when you're not at work. Not good. A job should be left at the door when you walk out for the day.

    Someday your boy is gonna be gone out in the world. The money will definitely be gone. Which one will you miss the most?

    That's just my take on the situation. You're a big girl now. You know what's best for ya. Cliche' Cliche' Cliche'

    Just remember that whatever happens;

    Everything's gonna be alright.

    PS Not meaning to butt in on Budheads domain,:p

    But things are lookin pretty good around here employment wise. Patch and me would love to have ya closer!

    Good luck babe!
    I think you already know the answer deep down inside.
  8. Stonygurl I have a stressful work situation too and only wish I could find a job offer that was even CLOSE to what I am making right now.

    I think everyone's got some great advice here. Go for the less stress. Your boy loves you, he always will, and he probably can see what toll your current job is taking on you. He will probably be happier because you are happier, and you will have more time to spend with him. It will be worth it in the end when you send him off to college and look back and realize you made the right decision (like smokin' said, the boy will be gone in a few years, so will the money, but what will you miss more?)

    Plus, if you see potential for advancement, have at it! That $300-500 a month less will be hard to adjust to, but having a less stressful day sounds like something you really need right now, and Bud Head is right stress can seriously have a negative impact on your physical AND mental health. Take care of yourself, and let the cable go if you have to ~ there are other ways to occupy time, some libraries rent out videos for free (they do out here) so that's always an option!

    Best of wishes on your decision! Good luck :) xo~
  9. I'll have to agree that this is your choice to make. Do what makes you happy. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to take a step back in order to go forward.

    I moved from my home of 12 yrs, left all my friends and family for a job. I have no regrets about this move because I am now living like a queen in comparison to before. Finally I can buy what I want, smoke as much as I want, do what I want and not feel guilty. The pay is awesome and I 've got great benefits, but the best part is I like my job. I'm lost now that it is summer break!

    But I used to be sick at the thought of getting up to go to a job I hated. I was hateful and unhappy, even though the money was enough to live on. It's that big decision that makes or breaks you. Be happy or be well off? Be poor or be happy? Be both? For me the choice was easy - be poor, be happy and within a couple of months, I was well off (comfortable anyway).

    Good luck with your choice. Your heart will never lie to you.
  10. You guys are the BEST!!! Thank you so much for your input!

    I talked to my son today, (he's at his dad's for the summer-3 states away). He doesn't want me to take the lower paying job....Things WERE a lot more stressful around here when we were barely making ends meet. Not being able to pay my bills just stresses the hell out of me, and at one point we almost lost our house. I just don't think we could make it on the lower wage. And the possibility for advancement is years off, from what I understand. My son doesn't see the stress I'm under at work, so I guess I must be doing a good job of leaving it there! Maybe it's not as bad as I think it is??

    Found out a little more about the "new" job, it would entail some overtime, which would be good as far as making more money, but it would take away from the family time. I do like the fact that my current job is 8-5, Monday through Friday. And, ganjaphish, I really feel for ya, cuz I know the co-worker situation for you is what puts the stress on. There are a few more things that don't sound too great to me about this other job, so I think for now I am going to stick my job out. My co-workers are the best, and they are so supportive of me. It's the WORK that is stressful. But I think I can work on myself and the way I internalize things, and try to choose a more positive approach to the job...and try to remember my strengths. If I can take a different approach, I think I will be okay..I am going to look at it as a challenge I can overcome. I've only been doing the job since September. I've been with the company for 2 1/2 years, just in a new position.

    I've weighed it out, and I think I can, for now, squelch the internal voice that's saying "I hate this work" and trudge along. Let ya in on a secret....What I REALLy wanna be doing, is framing pictures again, and if I can save up, I will be a gallery/frame shop owner in the next 10 years. Now, THAT's my goal...

    Thanks again, all of you, for your very valuable input. I can't tell you how much it means to me. :)
  11. i feel you...Times are rough around here a lot too.

    The work sounds stressful but at least you know you can feed your child (and smoke a lil reefer on the side => )
  12. Let me come drag-assing late as usual with my 2 cents sweetie!

    Its work, not your life. Its 8-5 M thru F. It doesn't have to consume every minute of your day and wreck you emotionally. Try to find a healthy way to leave the stress behind when you leave work.

    I took stock of my situation a few years ago. I realized its not my name on the company logo, I don't sign the paychecks on Friday. And goddamnit I wasn't going to let this job define me for 24 hours a day. Now when I'm at work and not fucking around on the internet talking to a bunch of potheads, I'm balls to the wall and my boss gets 110%. But when I head the BigPoppaPuff Mobile to the ranch it becomes a time machine, i.e. the back windshield is the past and I ain't looking at it until it's time to go back to work. On weekends I turn that damn cell phone off and not think about work one time. It took me a couple of years to seperate the idea that work defined me as a person, and I'm a lot happier person for it.

    Good Luck sweetie!
  13. Stonygurl...

    That is a major life change! It sounds that you might be interested in a better work enviroment? It is less pay...that sucks. But, if there's room for rapid advancement...I would give it a try.
    I wish you well sweetie! I know whatever decision you make...that you are happy, and are less stressed. I have a feeling alot of people in this country need to relax. Not only for the summer...but, at work...home...everywhere. Life seems more tolerable that way, to me anyways.
    Smokie has an excellent experience to share...


  14. I must agree 100% with ya critter. You know what ya tolking about!

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