It's Snowing!

I love coke.

Love it.

Love it.

LOVE IT.

I love the awesome on top of the world feeling.

I love how my legs shake.

I love how it feels to chew on shit.

Hell, I even like the comedown, how I gradually go from on top of the world to back to normal and mellow, it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling.

I hate the smell and taste though, its like fucking moldy pen ink.

-Hash!

 

Haha, I wish it was really snowing, that's be fucking awesome, I hate Texas winter, this year, we had about 3 days of qualifable "cold" and one day of sleet, no snow, haha, we got a snow day, though, supposedly the road was "iced over" haha, but it was like 64 that day, but hey, I ain't complaining.

How quick does cocaine tolerence build up? I'm asking because I just started my second quarter gram bag, and I'm not as numb as I was with the first quarter, I did it 4 nights in a row, but not last night.

I think it may be that it was cut more, becuase it smelled/tasted worse, or maybe it smelled/tasted worse because I ran out of cream soda.

Maybe it was that that I didn't powder it well enough.

Maybe its that I used a different nostril.

Maybe its that I used a lower denomination to snort it.

Maybe its cause my hair got int the way during my last line.

Haha, mind's racing.

-John Hashcock (Can I EDIT it to make it big so the king doesn't have to put on his bifocals to read it?[I don't see a size thing in the editing box])

EDIT: Had to capitalize an I, make one "maybe" make sense, and add my John Handcock.

 

Maybe I don't like the comedown so much... (But it still isn't horrible)

For a brief 27 minutes everything was right with the world. ;_;

I think my kitty like coke, too, she was sniffing around on the CD case, so I moved it, don't want my kitty to be a cokehead like her daddy.

Its a good thing I hate the smell/taste of this shit so much, or I might develop an addiction.

I posted a comment on this girl I really really really like's myspace, which I'd never do if its wasn't for coke, I guess I'm shy.

I feel kinda bad for not expressing my feelings more without the use of coke, 3 nights I've told a good (female) friend of mine how cool she is, and how much I love her.

My feet are cold.

I'm thinking this bag was definately cut more than the last.

I really appreciate the dude that hooked me up with this shit, he's a pusher, but he's a quasi-friend with me, so he gave it to me for what he got. He also had a surplus, so he said he'd gimme another q for free. I really hope it works out with the girl he likes, too.

Maybe it was the denomination, maybe Jackson just likes coke more than George.

I bet Franklin really loves coke.

I wish I had a Franklin or two.

I need a job, but don't want to cut my hair.

My tummy hurts. ;_;

What I really want to do now, is see the girl I like, I want to kiss her, I should kiss her, I really want to kiss her.

I just want to be in her company.

I'd give anything to see her.

She's fucking beautiful.

I watched this disney channel movie thing today "High School Musical" its kinda embarassing, but I actually sorta liked it, I felt angry when the people broke the two other people up, sad when they got tricked into breaking up, and happy when the ending was all happy.

The Piano girl was kinda hot.

-RanHdom PeicAes of inforSmation mHan

EDIT: More rambling:

I'd get in alot of trouble if I got caught doing this shit, it was my mother's drug of choice, and she just told me the other day she had a really bad expirience with it.

I wish my friends were more understanding, I guess I'm kind of emotional/moody.

I really don't want to find new friends though, these are the most loyal friends I ever had.

My birthday is on Saturday. ^_^

My friend said if I don't go to college after highschool, I can live with him for a while, that's pretty cool of him.

He really likes two chicks waaaaaaayyyyyy out of his league in his English class, I hope they're not shallow, he's a really good person at heart, just not the best looking mofuck.

Can coke change your view on music, I'm a man that's strictly anti-emo (classic rock and rap, all the way) but as of late, I've been checking out a couple bands on this girl's myspace, and I'm kind of enjoying them (Say Anything and Jet, if you were wondering)

I bet no one's going to read all this, I don't even know why I'm still doing this.

Oh yeah, it feels good to type.

I like to ramble on stimulants.

Haha, "ramble on" I'm gonna listen to that shit right now.

Led Zep is the FUCKING SHIT.

Anyone gonna see ATL: The Movie? Looks pretty good.

I'm already kinda regretting the comments I left on two people's myspace. ;_;

Is it cold in here all of a sudden.

I went to a lawyer today, and when I got in the car to go back home, it was 420.

Any the office was like 402, so I switched the 0 and the 2 in my head and laughed to myself for a while.

This bitch counselor once told me that it was better to never smoke weed than to do it a few times. WTF, close minded bitch.

The reason I had to go to the counselor is because of my "laid back attitude" and that I drew a dancing mushroom on a report in spanish.

I got a four hour detention for saying "penis" in that spanish class. I'm in highschool for fuck's sake.

Speaking of fuck, I said fuck shit and hell in that class and never got in trouble, but I guess "penis" is worse.

Do male mammals produce millk too?

I need to remformat my harddrive, I have a fucking trojan, I've had it for a while and I know I need to reformat my shit, but I never get to it.

I hope I don't turn out like my father, when I was younger, he was never there for me, but now that he is, I kinda wish it was like it was in the old days, go to work before I woke up, drink lotsa wine before going to be early, only having conversations in the garage when he was smoking, and about once a month going to a baseball game.

I wanna move out.

I got hit by a car (as a pedestrian) in December, the insurance company is supposed to give me a fair amount of money, I think I'll buy me some wheels.

My cousin is selling his 68 chevelle, I kinda wanna buy it, but the milage sucks. (like 8 m/gallon)

I wish I could like... instantly play guitar better, and lose weight, hell yeah, instant satisfaction.

I wanna beef up too.

I should write a book, with just random ass shit I felt at the time, get like a gram of coke and just write for one night, a bunch of stupid shit, you think it would sell?

I read "My Friend Leonard" and "A Million Little Peices" before they found out he "stretched the truth" I kinda wish it really happened the way it did in the books, because it'd be awesome if it did, heartbreaking.

Still good stories though.

My pusher friend sometimes writes exactly like James Frey, its eery.

Eery's a tight word.

So is "queer" just be like "that's queer" and its so awesome, I dunno why.

In my spanish class, there used to be this girl who was smart and I'd copy off her, the next semester my classes changed and I was sitting by her twin sister (also smart) and I copied off her.

But then the bitch teacher moved us so we're seperate.

Now I sit by this douchebag, he's funny, but he's still a fucking douche.

And this asshole fat midget girl that asks me for gum the WHOLE class period, no means NO, gary coleman.

Gary Coleman is awesome.

"Whatchoo talking about Willis?"

My mom used to say that to me, my middle names William, and for the longest time, I couldn't figure out what she meant.

My mom's kinda weird, but she's cool I guess.

I think I should be nicer to her, because even though right now its "not cool" to be seen with your mom or spend time with your mom, once I graduate it won't matter what these people think.

I've never had a girlfriend.

...I think its all worn off now. ;_;

Bye bye yay. ;_;

My legs are tired.

EDIT2: For clarification reasons, I switched around a few words. Also:

Damn I forgot.

It just came back to me: I never get paranoid coming down off coke, once or twice I tried, but I can't for the life of me get paranoid.

And I'm normally a pretty paranoid person.

You'd be too if you got hit by car crossing the street, then almost died because of your sister's horrible driving and turned around and got punched in the face in about a month's time.

If I keep this up, I'll go on forever, I'm gonna listen to some Pink Floyd or more Led or something then go to bed in about an hour or so.

 

Haha, yeah, you're right, and contrary to popular belief of my male companions, I don't really think I'm that bad looking.

More shit:

Sometimes I get like this dizzy/pressury feeling in my head like sitting down for a while then standing up for no good reason.

My memory really really suck.

I'm a sore loser, always have been.

EDIT: +and

 

It took me a while to get to sleep last night, which is weird, becuase the other 4 or so nights I did some white I was able to go to sleep about an 1 and a half after completely coming down.

You want the best definition of a coke high I can think of?

When you're young, and you're into pokemon, and your mom takes you in the old purple minivan down to the local trading card shop to go get you a booster pack and you put your 4.34 if hard earned allowance down on the counter and the old man who understands nothing about pokemon reaches under the see-through counter and gets out the box with the booster packs in it. He sets it on the counter, and leans over so he's around your height, looks you in the eye, winks and half whispers to you "pick a winner, son." So of course you don't pick the one on the top, that's too obvious, gotta dig down deep, NO! That's what they're expecting, they're hiding the good cards in the packs somewhere in the middle, but more towards the top, so you pick the perfect pack, you thank the man, and slowly and steadily open up the pack, undoing each corner with such intensity, the buddhists are envious. You look through your cards carefully, and then you see the prize, the holographic Charmillionaire! (or whatever it was called, the one with 120HP that was really rare in the original boosters) Its first edition, too!

And for those glorious five or so seconds your life is complete, there's nothing to worry about, no family members dying, no starving ethiopians, no wars, no corrupt government offiials, the only thing in the whole universe for those brief five seconds is that rare pokemon card and you.

Now take that, make it last about 30 minutes, add a delightful energy boost, numbness, grinding teeth and shaking legs, and you have the exact effects of cocaine.

I guess in retrospect, cocaine isn't so short lasting after all...

That actually happened to me one time, I gave it to my sister, and she ended up destroying it on accident. ;_;

-Go go, they say he's got to go, go go hashzilla

 

I know this is going to seem really stupid to me in the morning, but the best way to keep up the high at the moment seems to be movement, and typing is great movement.

MOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNT.

Ironically, from when I woke up this morning until I did the first line of the rest of my stash about 45 minutes ago, just the thought of doing anymore of this shit sickened me, I wanted to throw it away, flush it down the toilet, but now I jsut want to do just a lttle more.

Whenever doing the white, I always crush up my shitm line up my lines, and then do all I'm going to do in that night at once, which the last 3 times I've used was approximately 100 or so milligrams, would it be better for me to spread it out?

I don't want to buy anymore, but I do, I want to buy more in the morning, but then again its a waste of money, especially when I have tolerence. Its probably good I can't get anymore until monday anyway.

My birthday is saturday. I bought myself a 2 pair of these fucking clean kicks, and I;m probably going shopping for myself sometime in the next couple days, its kinda sad, because other than a crappily drawn card from my little sister, the only presents I'll end up getting are from myself.

I really appreciate her making a card, I think I'll hang it on my wall when I get it.

Goddamn, getting emotional, I should probably get off before I post too much personal shit.

I wrote up a bunch of emotional shit a second ago, but I figured it was too much for a bunch of strangers to see, also, it was really fucking gay. I hate myself.

FuckFuckFuck...

Should I post this?

Coke comedowns are really confusing. All my limbs are cold but inside I still feel warm. I started grinding my teeth because I like the feeling of numb grinding, but now that its not numb anymore, I'm still doing it. I'm thirsty but it feels bad to drink. I don't know why. I want more llell, but I really know I shouldn't. I'm sweating but I'm cold. My feet are numb from my legs shaking, but numb in the bad way, but I don't want to stop. I want to stop grinding my teeth but I don't. I don't know why I'm still typing all this. I don't want to post any of this bullshit that no one will read, but I figure if I don't, I'm just wasting my time, right now, and the last feeling I want right now is the feeling of waste.

And for those curious about cocaine, i want you to know I'm very emotional, and that I blow the comedown way out of proportion, it not nearly as bad as, say the comedown off of Ambien is. I came down off Ambien once, and it was really really shitty, after that I just fell asleep when I started coming down.

Try cocaine, open your horizons, but don't get addicted.

I think I may take snippets of cocaine based topics I write about and make an erowid expirience out of them, yeah that sounds good.

 

Haha, yeah, I think I'll call up my guy tommarrow and make him promise to not give me anymore.

Even worse, cocaine addictions run in my family, my mom was addicted and my dad possibly was.