(edit: hey I thought this was the relationships thread. Sorry. Plz move =) I was 21 and so was she. I, a soldier, her a student, both fell in love after an obscure run-in at the mall after we graduated. She was gorgeous, everything I had ever wanted in a woman. We started dating shortly there after and it was amazing. It was literally a dream come true. I wasn't a virgin, yet she was. She was also Catholic. Yet I still managed to get her panties off and pop her cherry. I was in love. Two months into our relationship she said that she felt guilty about having sex and confessed to her priest. She asked me to wait until we were married, I agreed. We didn't have sex after that once. We didn't kiss after that once. For two years after that I was her prince, yet she continued to grow more distant. Secretive with her cell phone, and if I'd ever ask to see it she'd reply with some reverse psychological statement like "Why do you want to see it? You're just insecure and jealous!" This wasn't the case. She just changed. Anytime I'd go in to hold her she would say "Move your hands" or when I'd go towards her neck "What are you doing?" On our two year anniversary I bought her $1,000 worth of jewelry - a diamond necklace and ear-ring set. And then one day she called me and said that she wanted a short break, you know - time to think. The last words I ever heard her speak were, "You're the man I'm going to marry." A month later, around my bday, I text messaged her "hey" She replied with, "Thanks for the Jewelry! My new boyfriend thinks you have great taste. Please don't ever call me or come look for me again. Get over it. Happy bday! =)." It's been a year ago today since I got that message. Jasmin was my everything. She wasn't my first fuck, or my first girlfriend, but she was my first love. I never knew how amazing love would truly, or could truly feel until I met her. And the year since she left me has been one of the loneliest on record. I still think about her at one point or another in the day. I suppose that in the end, the most hurtful thing wasn't that we broke up, it's the fact that she never spoke to me again, and we lived a block away from one another. To think that she thought so little of me that she would never even talk to me again, that's the most hurtful. It happened, and it's destiny. Yet, sometimes I wonder why destiny has such pain in store for us? Are they simply events which only occur by probability that we are supposed to draw lessons and inspiration from? Or are they moments in our lives which we will never get back, and maybe that is what life is about. Realizing nothing ever lasts, and to, as cliche as it does sound, cherish each day - nay, each moment like it's our last? Feel free to share your story.
my first love did the same thing, kinda. we had known each other for 4 years, we only dated for one, but even when we weren't dating there had been something between us. she told me that she loved me, then i found out i was moving (still in high school and living with my parents back then) i told her as soon as i found out (about a month before i actually had to leave, 2 weeks before school ended). when i told her she acted like i didn't even exist. she didn't talk to me, or even act like i was there. i had class with her everyday, and she lived in my neighborhood. it was terrible. i tried talking to her, but she just wouldn't. a month later i moved and never saw or talked to her again. that was over 2 years ago. it took me a really long time to get over it. i tried to figure out why she would do that, i thought about it everyday. i never found an answer, and eventually i realized that thinking about it and being depressed over it everyday wasn't going to do anything. i still think about her sometimes, but i don't try to figure out why she did what she did anymore. right now i'm in a new relationship, the first one since then that i think might actually go somewhere.
OP all i can say is dam sry to hear that. thats a big bitch move. live and learn bud. also material things shouldnt make any girls happy so dont waste your mmoney on em. es[ecially since all the really want is your dick or your money. maybe im wrong iuno. as for stealth. i think she did that bc she supposedly loved you and tried to get over you iuno ive had girls do that so ya.. goodluck yall
You just scared the fuck out of me....this story sound so similar to my life right now.....Catholic girl, virgin, not the first girl for me, ooooooo and shes always on that cell phone...but I can still take it if I want.
You should have at least taken the jewellry back off her, maybe played noughts and crosses on her new mans back with a razor blade if he tried to intervene. I split with my ex in late June. She wasn't really my first love, but she was my first serious relationship (the other girl lived a very long way away and we were kids so I guess that wasn't 'love') and I loved her a lot. However, I always took her for granted and regularly chose to get high with my boys instead of spend time with her. I realise now all the mistakes I made with her, and I made a lot. She was absolutely gorgeous and we were very compatible. She liked the fact I was a big lad and could look after her if things got out of hand. But still, I took her for granted and didn't realise how much I cared about her until she was gone. I was always well aware that I was going to University in September and that there was an expiricy date on us because I didn't want a long distance relationship. Now I wish I'd have really given it a chance because we were so good for each other. Another part of me wanted casual sex, which again I hated myself for because casual sex is nothing compared to sex when both parties love each other. Needless to say, we broke up and a week and a half later she told me she was with someone else and had already slept with him. I was fucking heartbroken and cried like a bitch in her arms on the corner of the roughest neighbourhood in my area. I didn't care, I was absolutely crushed. We just cuddled for what seemed like hours and I left. When she told me who he was I just burst out laughing and was like 'WAY TO RAISE THE BAR EH KEZ!?' Luckily for him he never stepped to me, because I was really hoping he was going to and I would have put him in a world of hurt. The point is, I'm still not really 'over her' I guess. I'm not bitter about her and Im glad she's happy with this guy, he seems to be taking care of her. In fact she's moving to a different country with him so he must be doing something right. I still miss her though and wish we didn't split up. In fact part of me wishes they split up and we can at least have one of our legendary all night rampant sex sessions and all day cuddles. It takes time to get over loved ones and females in general (though not all females) seem to get over guys a hell of a lot quicker than guys seem to get over girls. Take it easy man, that text sounds absolutely horrendous. Well done for keeping your calm, I would have probably torched the girls house or done something equally stupid and psychotic.
wow..well...firstly after that thread...PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT HER STOP THINKING ABOUT HER JUST STOP THE MADNESS!! yes it can be more painful from a break up ,having the one you care about not talking to you...but only the fact that someone does that shows they dont worth your time anymore. things arent what they used to be and they never will.and i think its for your own good. well where should i start.. i mean..you wrote it yourself. you couldnt touch her for 2 years!!!2 years man..but still you were her prince.. when you care about someone and that someone lies to you and treats you like you're an idiot yes it pains and you cant stop thinkin why why why.. well..because..some people are bullshit. i know youd love to know whats in her mind..ill let you know.nothing associated with you. think.what you had ,,was it really a relationship or she just let you believe it was one.. and you fell for it.you thought it really was and it could lead to sth.. you didnt pay attention to the signs,her talking to you like that,the fact that you couldnt touch her for that long..people in love dont act that way,no matter what they believe in. and apparently shes not such a good cathlic as she let you believe.what the fuck was that message she texted you at your bday..seriously wtf.. and yet youd still like to be able to talk to her..getting rid of strong feelings its hard but lifes hard..and you just have to flow with it. when someone who is supposed to care for you treats you like that the message is pretty obvious. dont let yourself fall for any excuses youre making up for her.there is none. when you appreciate someone you dont lie to them.no mattter how much your feelings changed or how circumstances changed you dont lie.. she needed time to think because she had personal trouble.. and after a month poof she has her boyfriend and not only that e thinks you have a great taste.. and you still think about her..after a year this happened. dont try to explain her.try to explain yourself..what let you into that behavior(besides her letting you believe that was the deal).. dont ever try to communicate her,even if you really want to be friends.if she wants to she should be the one contacting you,and actually beg for it..communicating her will be just another reason to beat yourself up when you realise what the deal. just please wake up.you dont deserve that.she doesnt deserve you. thinkin that she was the perfect you just sabotage yourself.. there are many girls out there who would love to have a patient sweet honest man ..and wont treat them like shit.. breaking up with her was one of the best things that happened to you,you just were too emotional and blind to see..she was manipulating you..this was NO perfect relationship..and she was NO perfect girl..you just chose to see it that way and you need to open your eyes and see it now. its been a year.A YEAR. you dont deserve this. youre a man of your own and shouldnt let your self being dragged into this anymore. move on .move on for you own good. and realise this wasnt even near to sth perfect. yes thats life for you.you make mistakes and come along situations that make you stronger.this happened to you to see what you shouldnt do next time.who you shouldnt trust next time and that you cant trust completely anyone,besides your family. when you have your eyes on the past you miss out your present.
as far as my experience,well the most recent; I did that(looking in the past) for good 2 months.,i knew there was no future,but i couldnt realize why he cut all strings like that..when he was supposed to care for me.. after the first 2 months i would think of him very rarely but i would still think of that person.it was a really bitter feeling. a person i never touched and i was lied by(if id tell you what he told me back then when he could easily tell me the exact truth and help me move on youd laugh,i guess that way he though itd be easier for me but it only made it harder and made me look down on him in the end) he was the one insisting this could work,so i was silly enough to let myself free and create strong feelings for him..and one day he stopped talking to me.just like that.his excuses were if not all lies,most of it. people make wrong choices ,like i did after all,not because they are mean.but selfish,stupid,weak,unwilling to say/or see the truth. well when you feel played and deceived by someone its usually harder. i realised feelings are a really strong thing.and someone hurting my ego..well thats even stronger.lol i even tried contacting him after 6 months,which was a major mistake.if someone wants to contact you ,they should do it. and if they wanted they would have done it long ago. at that point i had realised the whole deal ,i had a job and a boyfriend and my life was really different than when i was still into him. not getting a reply after 6 months wasnt a shock at all,i already knew it ,i just thought i'd give it a last try since i really thought i had once connected to that person.and i was wrong.just because you once had sth with someone and felt you two connected doesnt mean you really did or you still can.people change. it doesnt matter to me at all any more.he has no impact any more in my life or my feelings..i actually wish i had seen things clearer looong time ago before i did,cause i just wasted my time.right now i laugh thinkin of all of it. i really wish you soon will be able to laugh at it too.its all a matter of perception.really. and be thankful that when she finally cleared things with you she was so strict.i have a new boyfriend move on. she could have told you a bunch of other bullshit. the rest is up to you to realize.and one of these is that she was no even near to perfect ,nor your relationship. do yourself a huge favor and stop idolizing her and find up your ego again.she treated you like shit,and no matter how good she once used to be,shes not anymore.and thats its .
This right here would have me seething. Props for not acting rashly As to my story... a while back I was in a shitty place in my life (although I would never admit it to anyone, even myself). I had a shitty job and no real direction in my life. For the first time I was diagnosed with depression and PTSD from my time in the Marine Corps (terrible night terrors and sweats). All the while, I thought it was a good idea to have a girlfriend... Needless to say, when you're at a place in life where you don't love yourself.. it's impossible to love someone else. No matter how much I wanted to give myself and my time fully, it just wasn't happening. In retrospect, I feel like a dick in some way regarding my lack of communication, but had I continued on.. it would've just been a charade and after explaining how I felt, she wasn't buying the "excuses".. Maybe she felt as though it were something I would just "get over".... but it took counseling, time, and medication for me to even get to a point now where I feel good about just going through the day. So I took a break from it all.. unplugged (even from my beloved GC), and took time for myself to get my life back on track. IDK man, take care of yourself and someone who is right for you will come along at the right time in your life.. stay up bro
i know how you feel man. it's been almost a year for me as well. girls are terribly good at making boys believe what they say. my last girlfriend of nearly 3 years told me she loved me and wanted to be married and have a family up until the day she told me that she needed a little "breathing room" to think about things. i found out a few days later that for awhile she had been seeing another guy. i guess she had to keep me wrapped around her finger until she had the other deal sewn up. there was no closure. no "we're through". just "i need some breathing room, i still want us to be together, i still love you" and never really speaking again. it's hard man. we need to move on.
I feel for you man, that girl was a total bitch to send you that message. She was actually trying to fuck with your head man with that message. God damn I hate girls like that, but you can't let their games get to your head. She doesn't deserve your time any more, you gotta carry on and find someone else, someone better and believe me, it will happen. I've been in your shoes to an extent. Just remember to take what you learned and apply it to your new relationship, it could save you a lot of heart ache. PS great job on keeping your head, that message would have kicked me into kill mode. I would've went to her house got the jewelry back, told her what she was and if her bf had a problem with it I'd punch him in the throat before he even formed a sentence.
sux dude...sounds like she only said that to keep you hangin tho, just in case her other guy didnt work out..its unfortunate, sometimes girls leave guys that love them too much.. the last chick i was in love with, i dated for like 3.5 yrs...we broke up bc she was a biatch and took advantage of my kind nature so we called it quits. we are still good friends, and were at that point best friends...ive had other gf's since and she currently has a bf, but i think about her all the time. oh well..what can u do. sometimes things happen for a reason even tho it doesnt seem that way
Dude, I'm sorry. That's really shitty and nobody deserves to be disrespected like that. The last girl I went out with told me I was 'the most important person in her life'. Dumped me two weeks after she said that. We don't talk, ever. Still dream/think about her all the time. I write her name when I go out painting. Whenever I hear that name I think of that girl. Relationships can be brutal. Life is hard.
Thanks for the positive comments guys. I suppose it's best to have loved and lost, than to never loved at all.
All I have to say about the shitty way you were dumped is; wow... I would have probably done something horrible enough to go to prison for several years...