tell me THATS not a 12 year olds title =) really, i couldn't think of a good one liner to start it off with, but it'll do. anyways, i've got this friend of mine (have only known him like 6 months, but we spend 6 weeks together for field camp, and were damn near inseperable) who i live about three hours away from. he's awesome, a major stoner, and a rock geek like me. all around great guy. my husband likes him too, which is good. so we had so much fun at field camp last year that we are planning on driving my shiny new prius out west NEXT summer to follow around that years field camp. there may or may not be anyone else with us - but i'm gonna pay for his share of the gas (though he doesnt know this) because i really want to go and i can't go alone. my husband is cool with this, he trusts me (as he should) and knows that rock things are just my territory, and since it doesnt interest him... the problem is that one of my friends has become convinced that its a very bad sign for me and my hubby to be cool with me taking a vacation with another man less than a year after we're married. she also reminds me that this kid is exactly the type of person i would have dated if i weren't already attached. basically, she thinks we're asking for trouble. so i put it out to you all: can a married woman have a really close, but platonic, friendship with another guy? i love the guy like a brother, and it doesnt matter what i might have felt if i'd met him if i was single, because life didn't work out that way. i've got a great friend, who i can not see or talk to for weeks, and just pick up with like we saw each other yesterday. is it a bad thing? thanks all - methinks the weed i got yesterday is something new, i'm feeling awfully damned introspective
I don't think it's a problem at all. You and the hubby trust eachother, and that's exactly how it should be. Sounds like you snagged a good one....and you've got some sweet friends to boot! I'd be counting my blessings! ps--that is totally a 12 yo tite. like omgzers.
I agree with her. Only thing to watch out for is to make sure he knows that you don't have any feelings for him in that way, Im sure he does but just the only thing I could see being a problem.
Well, ok, I'm not a married woman, but I'm damned near close. We have a son together and we live as if we were married. And my best friend is a guy. It works for us. I love my friend Nic like a brother (since he's been a better one to me than my blood-brother). There's nothing wrong with a woman having a platonic relationship with a guy and yes, it can happen. Don't let your other "friend" ruin this friendship for you. If you're ok with it, your husband is ok with it, and your guy friend is ok with it, then no one else should matter.
tell your 'friend' to mind her own business. She has no right or say in anything you and your husband choose what to and not to do.
haha i dunno i am thinking what if the guy tries to pull something on her romantic mebbe.... hahaha... stoned thoughts
i think thats on the edge, i really wouldn't want my girl to do that, i wouldn't stop her, but i wouldn't want it. You never know whats going to happen next... if you go, just don't get drunk, drinking leads to all sorts of things that mess up relationships. Good luck.
hmmm at some point one of you will try it on with the other .... i dont mean it will deffinatley happen on the holiday but sooner or later it will , you know it will happen too or you wouldnt have questioned yourself or asked others for advice ....
That's not true at all. My friend Nic and I have been friends for nearly 7 years now, and we've never once tried anything romantic with each other.
I think I'm going to be the dissenter here.....but i think it's a bad idea. You are married. It's ok to chill with other men....but going on rock roadtrips? Think about it this way.....in which ways could this streghten your marriage (not many)....in which ways could it hurt your marriage (possible a lot). I would personally think that's inappropriate
Thats you and Nic, not geologyrox and her friend. you never know what could happen. geologyrox, you said you love him like a brother, well, i dont think you would want to do anything sexual with your brother...so make sure he feels the same way. if not, then trouble could be ahed...
i appreciate your responses - all of them - because i really do TRUST my friend (her strong christian beliefs not withstanding) and i wanted to get my other friends' opinions. well, we spent 6 very drunken and very stoned weeks together BEFORE i got married, and not once did either of us fall into a puddle of stupidity and do anything we'd regret. i will not do anything to hurt my BEST FRIEND - who is my husband. so nothing will happen, regardless. the reason i'm asking is because someone i trust made me promise to think about it - and you guys are amazing at making me think through things. i have to wonder - what if i were bi. would i not be allowed to have close female friends? I should mention that i've never felt comfortable having close female friends,for the most part - they've always been guys. i would be heartily disappointed to realize i have to change my 'friend habits' because i'm married. fwiw, i've been with him for like 6 years - since i was in high school. i've never had anythning happen with any of my male friends any of the times i've crashed at their places in that whole time. i'm just not like that - i refuse to lose the best friend i've ever had (my husband) and a close friend to boot - it's just not happening.
well as long as you dont be pullin no sneaky shit then it aint messed up in my opinion, if you come home pregnant like my chic did then its messed up haha
Only you know exactly what kind of relationship you have with your friend. Any of us are just guessing. If you don't think anything will happen, and you don't want it to, then it won't. As long as your husband is really cool with it, and you're cool with him being alone for a while, then I say it's fine. Plus, think about all the fun you and your husband will have when you get back!