Some people can't hear the ring of truth, you are one of those people. While there may be exaggerations in the story (or not) it sounds true.
You just have missed this post by the moderator This accounts IP address is from the same part of the world where a former banned account was posting the same copy pasta story . It's a type of meme.
A wise man once told me, don't beleive anything you hear, and only HALF of what you see with your own two eyes.
I didn't miss ICG's post. He didn't mention the part about a banned account or a meme. So what's the point of her ruse? Sure it could be all made up but when you've been mandated to attend 12 step meetings you could see reality in her story. How does she gain? Should I believe there really was a guy who told you that?
Having had a lot of experience with na/aa i can tell you this, they know who is there on their own accord actually seeking help. They also know the people that are there only because they are court ordered and just working their way through the system. Asking you out for coffee was a test that you failed. People who are there for the right reasons do not like the court systems ordering people to attend, its against eveything aa/na stands for. If you were there for the right reasons and actually looking for help you would happily except their offers and not needed a court orde . Maybe not everytime or for the time they asked but at some point you would join them outside of a meeting. Basically they know you're full of shit and just there to appease the legal system. Im not being an asshole, thats just how they work. They're not fools. They know who is there for the right reasons and who is not. Your 1st post made it obvious you are not there for yourself but instead you're there only because you have to be. Ive been exactly in your shoes, thats how i know.
Serious red flags arise here. Conduct by the chairwoman nowhere near appropriate, but that is easily solved by taking her aside and explaining that you do not wish to be touched and that it's inappropriate. Or by finding a new group. NOW that said: The group is treating you the way they are because they know you're not engaged, you're not being respectful despite your contrary statements, and you don't want to be there. It's patently obvious. You seriously have more issues than just this. The way you describe others as perceiving you is classic narcisistic behavior. You like DO carry yourself like a snob and you just don't see it. Wearing satin and silk to an NA meeting? Change into jeans and a t-shirt - problem solved. Don't like this group, find another. Problem solved. Can't find another, I call bullshit. There are dozens of NA meetings all over the country and unless you're in a rural community of 200 people, there's other meetings. Your excuse that your husband is jealous is a false flag. I don't buy it and neither would your parole officer nor your judge. There are even telehealth groups that you can find that would satisfy the requirements of your parole. I deal with addicts on a daily basis as a part of my job. Your letter is CLASSIC deflecting. You made poor choices and now you're suffering the consequences. Guess what, you need to suffer those consequences. You don't want to engage in these meetings because you don't think you need it, but guess what, your poor choices led you there and you absolutely do need it. Find another group, but this time ENGAGE and actually participate. Or go troll elsewhere. I don't see this as copy-pasta, but it sure doesn't seem genuine.
Thank you for your response. I am not an addict. I smoke pot around 3-4 time a week. I usually smoke before bed, and in the morning i feel like taking on the world. I respect everyone who has found sobriety in the NA program. i can understand why these women members don't like court ordered NA, but I still don't understand how not wanting to go somewhere makes me a snob? You are probably right. It can really screw up the environment in these meetings for people who actually use them for help. Five months ago I was pulled over because I swerved. I admitted I swerved because I was texting. No ticket for txt. They said my eyes looked strange. i smoked pot an hour before. They took a blood test and arrested me. I rarely drink and I can’t believe that I got a DUI.. I am mocked by these women NA group members for taking pride in wanting to look nice. I have received many comments from women group members such as, “You must have 5 closets at home,” etc. Most of these women NA group members think that i am arrogant, stuck up, upper middle class, overdressed snob. I'm often thought of as stuck up because I don't usually talk unless I have to. I get nervous just walking into a room and saying hello to everyone. I think that maybe I have a certain look on my face when people see me; I mean, to me it's my "I'm seriously nervous and uncomfortable" face, but to others I think it makes them feel like I think that I'm better than everyone. So everyone just thinks I'm stand-offish and an overall rude person who thinks way too highly of themselves. I hate that I come off like that. I don't wear anything vulgar but because of my body type anything i wear looks tight on me. I'm confident that I look good in my clothes my style is "sexy but classy" I don't believe I have ever offended or embarrased myself or anyone with my wardrobe.I am a very classy woman and i would never dress in a cheap trashy way. I have noticed, that at times I apologize for the size of my boobs.
Sometimes I really want to yell at this woman chair person to get her hands off my body but I can’t get angry. I just can’t. Not in the moment–I shut down like a security camera with a miswired motion detector, and it’s only later that I realize what I should have done. By then, it’s too late to confront her, and it’s turned into a pattern and what am I supposed to do then?What am I supposed to do? I feel confused by all of this and I'm not sure what to do. I don't know how to tell her I don't really like physical touch without offending her. Should I say something to her? I don't want to offend her. Maybe I should just continue to ignore it? She doesn't look threatening. She is masculine and creepish but she is tiny, short and skinny old woman. This touchy feely chairperson woman is motivated and highly competent.She is very enthusiastic, competent and helpful to other women NA members.She happens to be very good as a chairperson. She is taking advantage of me, and i am afraid that she will just go even further. I need to find a way to make her truly understand that this needs to stop.. I am not going to change my dressing style. I am wearing my clothes for work. This NA group is on my work to home route.I am just stopping there on my way home from work. I am dressing like this since i graduated college. It is my whole wardrobe. Its how i like to dress myself and that is my style. When I am feeling stressed, blue, or overwhelmed, I will dress up a bit more than usual , and put more time and effort into my hair and make up. I think it's part of the 'fake it til you make it' mentality that I have adopted. If I look pretty, it helps me to feel a little better. And very often, to cheer myself up, I'll wear red. Btw, that doesn't mean I'm always down when I wear red, just that sometimes red is my way of subconsciously sending myself positive messages. It puts me in better spirits when I look fab. It helps me feel fab on less fab days. I dress in mainly form fitting satin and silk fashionable clothing. I always dress up when I'm feeling down. In fact I think the more down I feel the more I dress up, put make up and such. Partly because it's the fake till you make mentality, partly because I have no patience for feeling sorry for myself. I definitely feel better and more competent/capable of getting through the day if I dress up a little extra on the days when I don't feel good, but have something pretty important going on. I've been doing a lot of that lately. I'm not particularly fond of wearing revealing clothes. I prefer to wear covered, yet form fitting fashionable clothes. As i said because of my body type anything i wear looks tight on me.
By the sound of it you do act like they say. Remember theres people there with real problems. Theres also something else that might be going on, im not saying this is you. Lots of people who are court ordered to go there really do have an issue yet pretend they dont. You need to understand something these people youre talking shit about have seen it all. Lots of them have financial issues, lots of them have had hard lives that have left their bodies in bad shape. They see their former glory in you and it hurts them. They dont give a fk about what you look like, they she you as an arrogant show off and to tell you the truth you are coming across as one. Youve already dug your hole with them. Finding another group might not help becaause several members probably travel to other meering elsewhere. Youre best bet is to find another place to go to where these members arent regular, deess casual and keep your attitude in check. Play the quite mouse type. Since its na the court really cant check on your attendance other then your sign sheet. I have 2 other suggestions but im really not sure i should give them to you. You would have to promise me something before i do
I’ll start by saying u need to leave ur husband.. after 16 years if he is still jealous and controlling there is an issue... prob him cheating and he don’t want it done to him..... Any unwanted physical contact is harrasment, guys have been fired for less then rubbing a chicks shoulders... I’d kindly ask her to stop, if she don’t report it to the ppl above her. As far as what everyone else there thinks... they are older then u and addics.... WHO GIVES A FUCK... finish ur meetings and Ull never see them again, until ur next dui that is....
Thanks so much for your reply. I agree with you. You are totally right. The things women do if men did would land them in jail instantly. Women will grab, touch and make sexual gestures without even knowing a woman/man. BY FAR women are more aggressive because THEY KNOW THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT. I think most women don't see what they're doing in those situations as harassment or sexual assault. This might be part of it, but I think another aspect (at least in terms of taking sexual harassment seriously) is based on the archaic ideas that women are not capable of violence, don't seek out sex, and so on. I feel this is why women are not treated as offenders as readily as men. When we women complain about other women sexually harassing us, it is seen as laughable, so we learn to just ignore it or brush it off if we don’t like it. . The catch here and what makes women on women groping different than its harmless:I admit that I never once fear for my physical safety with this small old woman chairperson. I imagine other women feel the same and that’s why it’s not viewed as much of a problem compared to women being assaulted/groped by men.The reality we are in an era where women are getting just as aggressive if not more than men. They see it as not as harmful because they are the same sex. I think that our culture kind of gives them a pass, since homosexuality between women isn't nearly as taboo and a lot of women can get away with being pretty handsy with each other. I don't know. anything that's harassment when a man does it is still harassment when a woman does it. That doesn't change just because it's coming from a different source. I kinda feel like a weirdo for not losing my shit on this weird chair person woman.
Maybe you can take advantage of this situation to eliminate some of the curiosity you've had about having sex with women. You said you feel physically safe with this woman and it sounds like she's experienced enough to do the occasion justice so why not do a little woman on woman 13th stepping? I vote you go for it, it could change your life and even if you find the experience is not for you at least you'll have an informed opinion. I wouldn't tell the kids if I were you but you could post your experiences here.
But i would never want to kiss a woman. I am very sexually attracted to men. I am literally 100% straight. I don't have lesbian tendencies. I find this weirdo groper chairperson woman ugly and repulsive. She looks like a short skinny ugly effeminate man. But maybe you are right. Maybe I should just continue to ignore it. Maybe i should just keep tolerating this touchy feely chair person. I need to made through this.I am just so scared to go to jail. I guess i am kinda comfortable with this groper midget chairperson woman because i know that she is physically harmless. I somehow think it is because of her size, that she is so small that i let her do these things. A man being bigger and stronger i would resist fiercely. I am so confused. I don't even feel angry at this groper woman chair person for what she is doing to me, which I don't understand. Whenever I am in front of this weird short skinny masculine woman who is a lot shorter and older than myself - I guess I become very submissive because I subconsciously want to avoid angering her or something because she signs my papers "cards". Maybe this chair person woman is just showing appreciation for my curves, height and clothes. Maybe she just admires me. I can't discuss about this situation verbally with anyone. I just can't. I just want to discuss about my situation. Coming on here was a first huge step. I love my husband.I try my hardest.I am so lonely having no one to talk to about this situation with this weird touchy feey small woman chair person. I barely have any friends. I just want someone to understand, hear me.Within my region this is the only all female NA group. It is on my work to home route.I am just stopping there on my way home from work. I must attend this only female NA group because of my husband. Maybe subconsciously i feel safe with this small pale woman groper, because the chances that she could actually rape me are virtually nil. She is touchy feely and invasive, but she is just to small to physically rape me forcefully.
Ignoring it is the last thing you should do. Talk to her, wouldn't you want her to tell you how she felt if the situation were reversed? You wouldn't want to be bugging someone who wants to be left alone so just be honest. Also tell her you have 50 meetings to go and then you're done, that 12 stepping isn't for you but you're glad it's helping her, etc.
“I'm the kind of person.... and I keep my business to myself.” LOL So you post a page long diatribe on a weed forum? You do come across as bit pretentious and possibly stuck up. However that doesn’t give anyone a right to put their hands on you or intentionally invade your personal space in an attempt to create discomfort.
I am not stuck up. People around me (except for the ones who truly know me) have always said that I come across as snobby, stuck on myself, and unfriendly. The truth is, I'm just really shy and insecure when it comes to socializing with people. I do have several close friends, but it bugs me that A LOT of people think I'm a snob when that couldn't be further from the truth. I have been told that I seem snobby and it is because I don't speak up in groups where I am not comfortable. I have had people ask me if I thought I was better than others. This explains why I am having such a difficult time with this situation with this touchy feely "friendly" woman (chair person).Yes these women NA group members think I am arrogant or a snob but I do not have good people skills .Although I'd prefer that they think I'm arrogant to thinking that I'm afraid. I am uncomfortable in social settings and it takes me a while to feel comfortable around other people. I've been asked soooo many times 'why are you so serious' when I'm not feeling serious at that moment. I unintentionally tend to give off an unfriendly aura which has led people to ask if I dislike them. When I feel nervous I try to compensate by being really confident. I guess other people take that as me being arrogant. I am 5ft11 foot tall and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes me HUGE! The other day I was in a mall with my daughter and this little boy pointed at me and said something like: "Gush mom, look at her, she is giant!!!" If I am in a crowded room, I am a head above 95% of the people. I have been told that i look stuck up and arrogant.I have had the experience of women being jealous of me.I like satin and silk clothes and I wear them well.I should not have to suffer for what I like because other women have low self esteem and don’t see the gifts they have within themselves.I have a more stylish sense of fashion. I never wear anything trashy, I keep myself well covered and strive for professionalism and class. I am like paralyzed and numb while this short skinny old woman chairperson is touching me and rubbing me.I am just sitting and standing there kind of awkwardly letting it happen. Even i am unable to speak coherently. Why?