Is my mom a crazy sociopath?

Discussion in 'General' started by The Third Eye, Apr 26, 2012.

  1. #1 The Third Eye, Apr 26, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 26, 2012
    okay, so im dropping out of college for a minimum of one year to pursue my dreams in los angeles. ive recently secured an internship at a cinematic arts school that is opening up shortly, while also working 40 hours a week bussing tables at a world famous restaurant with only 1 location. i average about $10-15 an hour there and have saved about $1800 of the planned $5-6000 that i will need to make the move in anywhere from 6-8 months after i finish my internship. i got arrested about a month and a half ago for marijuana and alcohol and also on tuesday for something i allegedly did at the same time a month and a half ago that i was being investigated for. ive only been arrested these two times and since the first time, i have quit smoking weed and drinking alcohol. im dropping out of college because i am not motivated to go because it feels like im being forced to go and also i cannot stay in this current location because it is a party tourist island where all kids who stay here end up doing food an beverage for the rest of their lives.

    anyways, so my mom comes up to me knowing i am saving 90% of the money i make currently and starts ranting about how "you need to start paying bills so you know what its like when you move out! youve never payed a fucking bill in your life!"

    while she kept interrupting me and overpowering me with her screaming and yelling i finally was able to get in a single question asking "how am i supposed to pay my bills when i move out, when you want me to spend all my money im trying to save on bills now?" and she had no answer. she then started going off on some tangent about how im a sociopath and anti-social. which i think is funny because i can hang out with any number of friends any day that i want to and she is the one that sits at home in the dark all day when she isnt at her salon.

    i just do not understand this. this doesnt seem like the behavior of a mother who loves her son. i love my mom but the way she is so willing to turn on her family at the drop of a pin is very unsettling.

    just the other week when my dad found out i was moving out he called my mom and told her to "not forget your legal obligation to your other son" (he lives with my dad, implyign child support) and she starts freaking out about how my dad doesnt give a shit about me because she wanted my mom to pay child support and the "twangy voice he said it in." it reminded me of a single father who doesnt want to support his bastard child.

    all of her concerns revolve around money and how much she is using on me. when she talks about all the things she does for me, rather than love and caring being shown there is an intense anger and hatred while she is yelling about all the things she does for me. also i should put that i never yell or get angry, she does it enough for the both of us. i always sits there and try to calmly talk while she is yelling. i honestly just want to stand up and punch her right in the face alot of times.
     
  2. Throw her a couple hundred bucks whenever you get paid and save the rest like you have been doing. Making that much it shouldn't take real long to get to your goal. It would keep her off your back maybe until you can bail out.
     
  3. Does anyone else notice all the threads about quitting college?

    And OP, do what you want. For all you know you can make it and be super rich.
     
  4. My mom is the same way. I could have discovered the cure for cancer but if I'm not paying her, im not doing anything with my life. She treats me like a mooch even when I do things for myself.
    It sounds like you are doing everything you need to do man. Don't let her bring you down. Just because she is technically a parent doesn't mean she is a good parent by any means. Just somewhat appease her for now, then get the hell out of there when you can.
     
  5. She is scared and worried about being alone (empty nest syndrome). You need to reassure her that just because you are leaving, it does not mean you are severing all ties with her. Unless you will, then, never mind. :smoke:
     
  6. Well, people are stressed man. Times are tough.

    If you want her to be happy, keep using 10% on yourself, give 10% to her and continue saving the 80% for you to move out. I mean it's probably not enough to pay the bills, but just explain to her that that is what you can give her. You need the rest to save in order for you to move out. If you have an iPhone, maybe think about downgrading temporarily if she is paying the bill. Or offer to pay half or a part of the bill.
     
  7. Honestly.
    Do it.

    I wish my mom had me pay bills when i could...

    cause it was fucked up after 6 months of living on my own and only getting to play with 300/1500 a month...

    and LA..

    EXPENSIVE. Everything.

    Took me forever to figure out money management in relevance to real life. Fuckin sucked.
     
  8. I've had a similar experience in the past when I lived with my Mom and different relatives. Most of the time they were cool with just letting me work and save/spend my money how I chose, but there would be these sudden occasions where they would attack me about money. I know it wasn't a matter of them having financial problems because everyone I've lived with had plenty of money, and an easy job or didn't have to work at all. It usually stems from jealousy about something...My way of dealing with it was to just keep my cool and ignore their greedy control freaking fits until they passed.

    I don't know your Mom's financial situation so it could be that she's in debt or having problems at work. The "empty nest" theory sounds pretty likely. If you told her about your plans of moving to Los Angeles to pursue your dreams, she might be panicking about being alone or if she's really sick-minded, she could be jealous of YOU getting to pursue YOUR dreams since she may not have been able to when she was your age.

    I've been kicked out before and it was AFTER I paid them what they wanted. I'd have been better off just leaving instead of paying. Same thing happened to my buddy with his Stepmom...made him pay her a few hundred dollars then beat him with a wire hanger and said get out.

    When I moved back out to Southern California at age 19 I only had about $1500 saved up. I paid an old friend's Mom $300 to sleep on a couch for a month until I found a job and could start goin to college. A few weeks later I was hired for $12/hour at a Car Wash down the street. When she found out I got the job and her son didn't (we both applied and he was kinda immature), she kicked me out and wouldn't give me any money back. Jealousy. I spent the next few months livin in cheap motels in Orange County until I ran out of money and took a Greyhound Bus to stay with another relative for a while. It is rough out there especially if you don't have anybody helping you.

    My plan is to get out to Los Angeles too. My dream is to be a writer/animator and get into film/music. Keep saving as much money as you can and I wish you the best of luck.
     
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