Is life worth it?

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by DatDamDog, Sep 11, 2019.

  1. I’m just medicated at the moment but I can’t take it no more. I can’t afford to keep buying my medical weed. I’m on a tight budget, so I decided to grow some bag seed. I have 6 days left ofnweed and then the pain begins. I cant stand living like this. Fucking cancer doing crazy shit to my body and the radiation isn’t helping I don’t want to live like this. Scared that I’m going to run dry. I was a. Good guy. I didn’t bother people and I always worked and gave 200% and took pride in what I did. Selling my personal belongings is what I’m going to resort to. Just for weed, so I don’t have to take dep, oxy and other pain pills. I hate them and how they make me feel. I almost overdosed on pills. I’m just blabbling. But I never been this scared in my life. I envy all of you who can work and go fishing and have a day that if you don’t smoke. You will puke . It’s not likenme to blab like this. But I have only one person to talk to. I don’t feel people like me because I’m not into sports and my only hobby right now is growing my babies (see my journal ). Is this real life enough for you? If you’re in the same boat as me, then I hope you can see that I’m passed my breaking point. I officially snapped into living scared

    I can’t catch a break
     
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  2. Talk to Jesus
     
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  3. Understood.
     
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  4. He’s in my life. I guess he’s busy with something else. Story of my life.
     
  5. It really sucks the position you're in. I don't know how grim your diagnosis is but if you're undergoing radiation it means there's a chance you could pull through. I think the idea of potentially having life on the other side of this terrible illness could be a shining beacon of hope in your life. At least try to keep going out of curiosity for what happens next. Because it could be wonderful...
     
  6. I'm very sorry. I hope you get the medicine you need. Are you in a legal state?
     
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  7. I’ve been fighting cancer for 2.5 years. Been through chemo and radiation and three major surgeries for resection and two bowel blockages/ leaking. I’ve been told I’m terminal by two oncologists. Cannabis has helped so much with side effects as well as slowing tumor growth. It will most likely get me in the end but I’m enjoying my time left. I’m 37, medically retired from my home improvement business I started at 19. Just passed it on to my 19 yr old son. I wanted to train him and retire at 55 to give him the reigns to a successful career, but now I have to cram the training in to however long I have left. Keep your head up man and feel free to chat with me anytime. It may take me a couple days, but I’ll get back to you


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  8. Sending you and S2C My Best. Wish I could help you both... But please know that I care and am keeping you both in my thoughts and meditations.
     
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  9. Do this OP only if you don't want to get better.
     
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  10. :lmafoe:
     
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  11. Nah, it ain't all that all the time.....but still, we strive to overcome the difficulties....sincerely.
    I've been there, where it all seems futile. Even when it was nowhere near that bad. Cancer treatments can make you feel like it ain't worth it, and really force us to see how perilous health can be.

    Talking to yourself instead of The Jesus who doesn't seem to show up for you lately, and also blabbing it out here, can take you out of the funk if you just let it. I know it isn't easy, but allow THAT voice of reason to be your guide and keep the dialogue going. Many of us understand and are empathetic.

    Self reflection and being physically hurt may point out the painfully obvious of wanting to give up, but getting through the other side of chronic illness or disease is a lesson in tenacity, while incredulity at the struggle and the inherent desire to come out on top no matter what, makes our minds wonky with indecision. You're worth it, right? You have come this far, despite setbacks. It would appear that life is worth it, and you will find a way to push forward.

    Your will to work through this has come through in this reaching-out post of yours. I hope you will consider yourself embraced by the lot of us. Sorry for the ramble, it's a familiar topic of conversation for myself and several friends who also struggle with chronic pain. Much love and respect to you.
     
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  12. This is the one I read, in regards to my earlier reply to you on a vape thread of sorts

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  13. What does supposed to mean?
     
  14. Nah, he's never to busy to listen. You may not get what you are looking for but this life is only temporary.
    How close are you to Ky? I always keep a sack laying around.
    You should really start to grow your own, I've had good luck with La Diva auto's with very good yield and quick to finish
     
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  15. Means like ask for answered prayers from Jesus in one hand and shit in the other. See which hand will fill up faster. I garuntee you will have a shit all over your hand at the end of the day.
     
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  16. You are screwed in the head @Sade . You better get in church, for when you die, you will stand in front of the man and answer for everything you have done.
     
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  17. Don't get me wrong though I respect everyone no matter they're religion. It helps a lot of people out here.

    Also the OP said he was growing some babies. So I think he is growing some weed. Hopefully he has a successful harvest. My indoor game has been sucking second time much better but moved to a nicer place. Outside grows have been great but have to go indoors now.
     
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  18. @Sade read my second journal on my setup. I pull 2 lbs from 4 plants in 70 days or so. From well rooted clones in a 5x5x6.5 tent.
    I got pic's of everything and it's well documented. Duplicate that if you can.
     
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  19. Oh and get @Soil2Coco to help, that dude knows his shit and helped me a lot
     
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