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Is cannabis my crutch?

Discussion in 'General' started by BAkEd_ZombIe, Aug 30, 2007.

  1. Well blades i just feel like shit in general. I just want to talk about if im using weed the wrong way. actually most likely not really. i sort of want to talk to people who have stuff in common with me. This is going to be a long post,so if you don't feel like reading hit that back button right now...

    well it starts when i was around hmm i want to say 10 but it was actually younger alot younger around 6. my parents fought everyday just yelling and screaming. I used to sit in my room with a blanket over my head and basically just block it out with my own talking. this went on for about 6 years until i was 12, perfect age i guess just old enough to understand but young enough to get upset. the gruesome divorce lasted 2 years when my parents finally split there ways sold the house and got joint custody of me wensdays and thursdays my mom Monday and tuesdays my dads. Alternating Friday saturday and sundays. fast foward a year im 15 years old my mom caught me smoking weed and basically spazed,then i decided i wanted to move in with my dad cause my dad smoked the ganja. i quit smoking then about 3 years later started again when i was more mature. well i am 19 years old now today i saw my mom in the first time in about 3 years we talked on the phone but never really hung out. we went out to lunch then she asked if i wanted to go back to my house or chill with her. I decided i wanted to go home but as soon as i parked my car in my driveway i felt bad. Just horrible. my moms a nice person and i missed it for a long time,but before that she had a boyfriend and got married again and i hate the guy never got along with him to the point of where we got in a fist fight. but my mom doesnt care that i don't like him. So in a way i feel like i'm right..but also i feel wrong. I don't know maybe i should just blowback on some bong loads....just respond

    and if your going to flame me for being sensitive or some shit just save it please i don't want to hear that right now..
     
  2. At least you had lunch... I also am not a fan of my mom's boyfriend, and I spend as much time at my dad's house as I can. As long as the only reason you are smoking is to drown out how you feel about this, then it's a crutch; however, as long as you are toking up with friends, unrelated to your parents marital issues, then I think it's unrelated. Could be both though.
     
  3. i usually toke by myself cause i really don't have friends. the ones i used to have talk alot of shit constantly and im nice and mellow so. i dont know like even picking up the bong as i was writing that i felt like i didnt even want to smoke. like i felt like na dont smoke it'll waste the high.
     
  4. Well that could be your problem. You don't feel secure with your own friends so you alienate yourself and that leads to forms of depression. Try hanging out with some new people (I know it's a lot easier said than done), people more akin to yourself and more chilled out, try smoking with them on a nice day outside, go swimming or something relaxing like that. I find it's impossible to feel bad when I'm smoking with true friends in a peaceful spot.
     
  5. Have no fear bro, it's mine too. Over the past year with tons of financial crunches and major life changes and lawsuits etc, I've found comfort in weed and at the end of a long day, smoking half a bowl is just enough to take the edge off and allow me to be able to sit home and just relax for a few hours and just enjoy myself.

    I wouldn't say pot is a "bad" crutch, eventhough all crutches are supposed to be "bad" in one way shape form or another, but if you're using weed to just put you in a comfortable mood to get out from the assnine shit going on, AND you still fully function and do what YOU need to do on a daily basis, the "crutch" ain't so bad.

    As far as your situation goes though, growing up is tough on a kid and parents don't realize sometimes what implications they have on us even if we aren't in the room, we still hear everything that goes on, good and bad. Your mom had a right to go off on you, I mean afterall you were 15 bro, that's a kid, a baby. I might only be 26 myself but seeing your teenage kid smoking, let alone smoking something illegal should put a parent into parent mode.
    Hell even I have decided with weed, religion etc with my children it'll be that I am an adult who will make adult decisions right or wrong as an independant adult it is my choice what I do, when my kids are not only of legal age, but on their own too, if they choose to do so freely and openly they can. With reguards to religion though, I'll let them learn as kids about catholicisim which is my background and my girls eventhough I dont believe in it anymore, and when the kids are at a certain teenagerish age they can decide how to follow their own beliefs in religion.
    Sorry I am getting off topic bro, as far as you go, baby steps. Give your mom a call or an email and let her know you enjoyed lunch and want to do it again soon. Start off small, and see if it grows, just remember sometimes being an adult means having to accept/get along with people you don't necc. like. I have had to do it with BOTH my parents remarried significant others, it's just how shit goes sometimes. The last thing you want/need is to be in a position down the road where either you or your mother are dying and it's "to late" to get back all those years over something so minor when you look at it in hindsight.

    growing up means maturing and responsibility, one of the biggest examples you can bring forth right now is telling your mom that while you still don't like your stepdad for whatever reasons, it isn't enough to let you not have her in your life anymore and you are willing to swallow some pride and try to make it work and even if you can't you feel it is important for you, to have a relationship with her, even if it is only a civil one @ best (which by the way is how things are with my stubborn as fuck mother.)

    best of luck bro.
     
  6. What do you do everyday bro? Work? School? There are tons of places to meet up with new people who find the same interests as you bro, i mean come on we're on long island, theres tons of shit to do here.
     
  7. [quote name='dy-no-mite3000']The last thing you want/need is to be in a position down the road where either you or your mother are dying and it's "to late" to get back all those years over something so minor when you look at it in hindsight.
    quote]

    yah thats a good perspective i think in my subconcious i know that and thats why i feel so bad. great response.
     


  8. i got work i do bodywork on cars up in the city well not like regular bodywork like for customs and hotrods and shit i work at one of those places like west coast customs.
     
  9. If you can, might not be able to, but sometime soon simply take a weekend off and go with a few chill friends hiking, bring some Sativa too. I can't stress enough how positive an effect natural places can have on EVERYTHING. I went on a 5 week backpacking/ kayaking trip this summer, and since it was a camp program sort of thing, I couldn't smoke. Going into it I was sort of depressed, just bored with every day life. It honestly changed my life, no electronics, talking with friends who are bad influences, etc. Just yourself, close friends, nature, and in your case some weed. It'll lift the spirit for sure.
     
  10. No one at work you friendly enough with to hang out with or chill? Don't get me wrong, I am a video editor and work with a dozen other editors in my office, while I like the people here, none of them I'd want to really chill with, unless some of the girls were looking to wet the tip of my dick :hello:.

    Damn, i was just thinking and outside my clique of friends, I don't have many either nor would I want to go meet new ones, that's just what you want, some random dudes hitting you up saying "hey wanna be my friend?" like you drool, wear a helmet and work in a glass sorting recycling center. LOL.
    Shit, meeting new people is not only hard, but fucking sucks
     
  11. amen man it does fucking suck. and na actually there all older dudes that know alot shit about mechanics im like the young rookie even though they respect me cause im good at bodywork.

    but yah its just most people around where i live cant get over the marijuana issue how it makes people lazy etc...who does it make lazy? doesnt make me lazy.
     
  12. That story sucks man... My friend's parents split when he was i want to say.... 14, 15 around there and it really fucked with him... He was a BRILLIANT kid... Seriously unbelievably smart but he started to do drugs.. lol ironic cuz I smoke pot every day and I did smoke with him but he moved onto harder and harder shit and I stopped hangin out with him. I didn't speak to him for a couple years cuz we just lost touch and went to different schools. I met him just about a 5 months ago now and he has definitley changed.. He has some major problems been in jail 3 times and he's only 18... Yeah he's fucked up now and there's really no helping him.

    Anyways about meeting new friends... it's so easy what the fuck are you guys talking about lol.. I go to a university tho and live in a dorm so I meet new people daily.
    If I go outside to smoke right now I bet I could meet at least one new person whose pretty chill. Anyway even if you don't go to a university just don't be shy or a dick and you'll meet people.

    Shit spark a joint in a park and you might meet a few chikas :cool:
     
  13. i know how you feel man

    sometimes, before i talk to my dad, i have to have something flowin in me...

    man, and sometimes i feel like im abusing the shit out of weed...

    and i getchya on the whole divorce fighting thing...i would see my mom in tears because my dad would come home coked up and drunk, and just be a prick

    i remember one day, i was about 16...my dad knocks on the door to my moms house...i open it up and just clocked em as hard as i could, tears streaming down my face, and im screaming, telling him to get the fuck away from me...

    parent relations are hard sometimes, especially if they divorced at a young age...ive always gotten along alot better with my moms, and you seem to have some connection with your dad atleast...

    just call her up, and spill it...tell her what you feel about your relationship with her, and just have a long serious chat with her...no matter how hard it is, and remember, you cant get your child hood back, and youll never be able to make some of those memories go away

    good luck
     
  14. plus rep for some good shit man. My dad is a cokehead now to. i got my own house and life i live with the one person who was cool and would chat with me threw the parents shit my grandmother. Awsome lady we split the bills but yah it seems you know exactly what im talking about.
     
  15. yeah, my girl went through almost the same stuff too...she got arrested for giving her stepdad a bad concussion.....

    ive been through it all and have a decent relationship with both of my parents, and if you want shoot me a pm for my AIM if you got any questions or advice man...
     
  16. I think more of us use weed as a crutch than we'd like to admit. Life is hard man, I'm not ashamed to admit smoking weed has helped me get through some very hard times. I don't feel bad about it at all.

    Life isn't easy for me. Weed helps me keep going.

    Your mom sounds, well, she's not ideal. It happens. It's not an easy issue to cover but I wish you best of luck with whatever decision you make.
     
  17. as long as u got a positive additude its all good. smokin weed every day does not make me forget shit. yes i forget some stupid things like everyone else but when im high I think a lot. imho as long as your life isnt getting fucked up bc of weed then continue smoking. its making my life better not worse. alcohol made my life worse. i drank couple times a week and i weighed 215. started smoking often and now i weigh 185. i usually dont smoke in the morn just after work. having a smoke after feels good.
     

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