In Pursuit Of Genuine Spirituality

Discussion in 'Religion, Beliefs and Spirituality' started by Thejourney318, Nov 15, 2014.

  1. #1 Thejourney318, Nov 15, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 15, 2014
    The thread title says it. I am in pursuit of genuine spirituality. And I guess I'm just curious if others can relate with what I have to say. For my entire adult life really, spirituality has been the most important thing to me. It started off in pursuit of strict fundamentalist religion, but eventually I went down a new path. Esoteric philosophy and spirituality. In my pursuit of and belief in this, I had many amazing, crazy, unbelievable experiences. These seemed to confirm my beliefs, on unity, reality as a manifestation of consciousness, and the like. But this passion towards this way of thinking faded. Probably in part because, while many things happened which seemed to confirm my beliefs, my life and reality did not fundamentally change, which I also considered inevitable if my beliefs were true.
    And so I've been in spiritual limbo for some time now. Part of my esoteric path was also an eastern path. This led me into notions of the relativity of all concepts, the impossibility of finding ultimate truth in them. Reality as beyond concepts. Words and concepts more and more over time became interesting play things, interesting in their effects on individuals and their thought processes and behavior, but all ultimately relative and inadequate. I actually believed this transcendence of concepts to be a major part of 'the path to enlightenment.' I was passionate about this idea, which while it still resonates with me in ways, that passion isn't there in the same way. And yet it certainly relates to this 'state of limbo' I have been in, because I have studied and tried to get into the mindset of various spiritual and philosophic systems, ways of thinking and being, and have felt a definite detachment to all of them. I have basically tried to trick myself into taking them seriously, because of my belief that there IS an actuality to 'spirituality.' But really I float between ideologies easily, because I am really detached from them all.
    At first I just saw this as a positive which related to my way of thinking. I'm detached, I'm not caught in concepts, and I can play with them. But, in another way it has really led to a loss of a sense of genuine spirituality. I seem to go back and forth between trying to get into a particular spiritual mindset, and then eventually come to feel like it's nonsense, pointless, and then try to find something else. There's a certain void there. I cannot deny my experiences, and I cannot deny my belief in the spiritual and my desire for it. But, I just cant find it. Sometimes I feel like, I don't care about the spiritual systems. There is something greater, something spiritual. It is not separate from me, at least entirely. I am at least connected to it. And so I'm almost at a point of saying, I don't know what the real spirituality is. I don't have the answers. But I desire it, whatever it is. And I want to open myself to whatever it is that is genuinely spiritual within myself. And try to find a spirituality which is not fake. Which is not me TRYING to get into some mindset, trying to believe something, and not think contrary things. And these ideas of reality originating from or being consciousness are still attractive to me in a way, which makes it more difficult yet, because then it's simply my inability to get in and stay in the right mindset that is stopping me. So, I don't have answers. But I desire them. And whatever it may be, I want the spirituality I find to be genuine.

  2. Man, being genuine works when you find that feeling of rightness. I have had a somewhat similar situation going on. I found my experience in searching through a few particular traditions, but somehow let others convince me that another path is better. I tried to objectively find the merits in this path, but even though I found merits, nothing touched the level of experience I had attained before. All I've really understood is that, different systems get it in a different way, but there will be something close to your heart that will act as the highest vehicle. They say, getting trapped in concepts is the wrong way to go, and I agree to a certain extent, but it made me ignore my experience as a result.

    Time and time again, I look to find the most virtuous path. One that will really deliver me from the low unto the high. What I've found is that there are some very basic aspects of our nature that we should understand and life runs smoothly. We use certain tools to make this happen. I've found so much merit in religions like Christianity and Islam and if I applied myself fully to just one, I know I would get what I want. Yet I want it without that identity and adherance. I still find that we often ignore truths of the past to pursue new ones of the future. Sometimes it's important to come full circle. A few things I am sure of as being great tools. One is the path of alchemy and the other is of Sikhism. These I know will always help me.
  3. My experiences give me confidence in the reality of spirituality...but they also make me feel an aversion, because while I had amazing and unbelievable experiences, they didn't seem to truly transform...and this makes me feel weary and hesitant to truly go down that road again.
  4. If only I had these sorts of people in my group of friends.

    It's utterly important to Instill certain "beliefs" in your "psyche". Ie the idea of impermanence, the idea that you are where you need to be (ones like this you gotta tinker with so as to not excuse your actions as being "good enough"), that you are attractive, that the feelings you feel are part of the process and do not define you and only help you to grow(impermanence covers a lot lol), stuff as such. I feel beliefs are super fucking important because, atleast for myself (and sort of seems to be the case for you) you need a sort of a backbone to which you instinctively rely upon. I too juggled between philosophies and ideas in my own way, taking the time to accept them and see what value I saw in them.

    Now, the trick is to not think of any of these things and just be, in your natural state, what ever it is. I find it helps to constantly search, be constantly seeking for the right thing at the right time, but your not really searching, it's a natural instinct.

    I know what your saying by not truly transforming, it's like you felt you're getting there, you know what it's like, it feels so good, empty and filling yet your the same old you afterwards. There's a multitude of reasons why and you don't have to explain it and translate it so your mind also understands it. This is one major problem I've had with meditation, trying to explain as your feeling the feelings. Whatever happens happens and although you may not consciously know at this point in time what it is or for, you know it is good.
  5. You know, as a person who meditates and has had intense experiences myself, I think it's really important to ground ones self in the real world. By this I mean, we often have incredible insights, but we find pleasure in attaining the insight itself and continue to just want that feeling of pleasure, of success and attainment. In reality, we often fail to apply these insights and where once they are strong and clear, we fail to etch them into our consciousness. We fail to live with these truths and apply them actively in our life in the mundane realm. The highest from of human potential is that of our creative capacity. That creative power is the power of life. To lose it is death. To lose it means to become a passive thing like debris in rough ocean. If we aren't actively focusing and applying our attention to that creative part of ourselves, then I would say we have failed. It's life or death and the line between them is not realized by us.

    You know, I'm rereading a book called the secret of the golden flower, translated by some German guy and with commentary by Jung. I think you should check it out. I'm sure we've talked about it before.

    I've come back to it, because I feel like I'm having basically the same problem as you.
  6. I think this is a good point. And I also think it is something many spiritual people are very unconscious of. For instance, if I say a thing like this, people may give their advice on things like 'just don't think, go beyond mind.' And that is maybe good. But, what gives it value is your belief that it has value. So, some may say I think too much. But I am trying to find something that is honestly meaningful to me right now. There was a time when I found the idea of 'going beyond mind, not thinking' to be very meaningful. And so that is what I pursued, and it was very fulfilling and gave me real 'spiritual highs' let's say. But without belief in its value, who's to say it has value? You have to personally have the idea of something having value, in order for it to have can't just accept and do it because someone else says it.
  7. #8 freethinker, Nov 29, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2014
    It's the mind trying to come back in and discredit all of your realizations about reality because it's a threat to the ego.  Don't believe these random thoughts that spontaneously pop into your head, they're just doing what they're supposed to do, attempting to solve/resolve/survive/try new scenarios for survival, ect ect.. 
    The mind is very powerful and will always try to come back in and take control.  The more you meditate and do walking meditation, the easier it will get in time with the new neuroconnections that take place by doing these practices.....I know from experience as I've gone through similar rough patches.  The world is in constant flux, just like the breathing in and out that we constantly do, expand/contract, good/bad, inner/outer.  We live in a world of duality, enlightenment doesn't mean we all of a sudden become this floating Buddha in the sky....this is a common misconception. 
    Enlightenment or spiritual awakening is simply shifting from the 'operating from thoughts/ego illusion' to the observer of these thoughts, and these thoughts come on as both positive and negative...not just positive as some have imagined.  It's the nature of our dualistic reality we were all born into with these bodies.  It's YOUR choice to believe them or partake in these thought adventures or not.  You are the screen for which the movie of life plays out on.  You can either identify with the movie (as most do) or you can identify as the screen (what you actually are). 
    The brain loves patterns, sometimes it hears a specific pattern (song) on the radio and decides it's going to play that terrible song back to you all day long even though you despise that now have a crappy song stuck in your head, but as you know, if you had a choice in the matter, you wouldn't have allowed that song to be played back all those times in your head...but your brain will always do what it wants, because the brain isn't you and you don't control it.
    The screen for which the move of life plays out on (what you are)=awareness/consciousness/awakeness/aliveness/'IS'-ness/transparency/the mystery/the infinite/ever-present/God ... it's been named many things over time.  Too many to list here..  Love you man, I know you'll find your way in time.  :)

Share This Page