In need of some serious advice...

I've had her for some moments and the next day I feel like she wants nothing from me but friendship... and she has been thinkin' about other guys. It's hard to read her, but she's such a special person and I want to be with her so much, sex has never crossed my mind, call me a wierdo, I think that she could possibly think i'm like the majority of guys she's been with, the ones who want sex and sex, and more sex, but she is that special, and she's had a troubled past and I just want to be the wall between her and her past, and make her feel like the most special person in the world and come close to not even remembering any of it. I have even done this weird thing recently, I made my cell phone say Don't talk to her unless she talks to you for a week... just to see if she really wanted to even talk to me. I'm really troubled, and I don't know if I should just give up or what, but honestly she is such a beautiful person and I think I can make an impact on her life for the better, I may just be crazy. for a while I would text her for hours on end, and later I felt like I was coming off as desperate, when really I just liked her a lot. I'm hurting bad in the mind, she consumes my thoughts, she's giving me anxiety, I don't have any clown shrub (my new word for pot) and I feel like i'm going to explode. I just don't know what it is that is wrong with me to where she wouldn't want to be with me, sometimes she tells me nice stuff that makes me feel good, but the next morning it feels like it flew out the window. I also have been taking every oprotunity I can to spend time with her, even if its not long, even if I have to drive a long way to her house or something and have to put gas in my dad's tank, she knows I like her a lot, and maybe that's the problem... there's more but I think this is enough to show what I'm thinking and get a diagnosis... I still think she's got her mind set on someone else I know maybe, probably yes, I've talked to him about it before, and he's approached me about it as well, he said he wouldn't do it and that's that, but I guess she is like me, and I am like her.

 

she basically told me that she has shown me that she has bad anxiety and she has told me a lot of adversity that has taken place in her life and she's told me that sometimes she wants to be with me as a girlfriend, and other times she doesn't know what happens (maybe something I don't see in myself) maybe it's my in-confidence. she has a lot of contriversy in her life all the time, she has mentioned suicidal thoughts in the past, and it really hurt me, it made me want to overwhelm her with love. I can only do what I can only do though. and I've been throwing myself at her too hard and maybe it's made her uncomfortable. I just don't know, I've only had a few girlfriends in my life, and none have ever connected to me like this or opened up to me like this, she is very open to some people, I just feel special for being one of them.

 

Thanks so much, it's great to here it from someone who could have possibly experienced this first hand, and that's definitely what I've been doing, she did tell me she needs to be able to love herself before she can love someone else, and you really nailed it. last night I kind of had like a protective instinct, it was interesting, we went to some guy's house and he texted her some things that made her very uncomfortable, as if she needs that kind of bullshit right now, but I will for sure take it easy on "smothering" her. she doesn't deserve this kind of bullshit stuff happening when she's struggling as it is, I guess i'll try to comfort her as much as possible without getting too close.

for the most part I was wondering if I should give up totally, but I think she will come to me if it's meant to be.

 

I get too many good vibrations from her to give up thanks for helpin. at least gave me something to work with rather than have to dwell in my thoughts.