In a Very Sticky Situation...

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by The Gooner, Jul 31, 2012.

  1. For those who read this thread

    If you haven't, then here is the story...

    Background: I have been in a committed relationship with my girlfriend for over 2 and 1/2 years and I am 20 years old (if that matters)

    In May of this year, I began working my new job at one of the local athletic clubs. One of my co-workers (who is a female and 19 years old) and I have become really good friends. It even turns out her current boyfriend of two years was one of my friends growing up. Anyway, this girl and I have been working together a lot over the summer. I have become extremely comfortable with this girl, mainly because she and I had similar parental issues that we could relate to. This is extremely different for me, since I never had any "girl" friends throughout high school and still do not in college. And let me also say that the co-worker is an very attractive girl, and I have always been intimidated by extremely attractive women, so to have made a close friend with one is… awesome.

    At work, there has been flirting, but nothing to go overboard about; we know not to cross any boundaries since we both are in committed relationships. However things began changing between us. If I happen to be in the way of something she needs, she slightly touches my sides and moves me out of the way. At first, I put this off as nothing, but it still continued. I'm not just her "moving" me out of the way either. As the summer continued I began to become very attracted to this girl, and I knew she was very attracted to me. She texts me telling me she "doesn't feel attractive at all" and thinks that all the guys that do flirt with her, me included, do so because we are "just being nice." I told her straight up how very attractive she was and that she was, bluntly, "beautiful." We somehow moved to my appearance and she texted, "oh please, you are so much hotter than me," she also constantly mentions how many girls at athletic club (where we work) think I am attractive and wish I didn't have a girlfriend.

    As I mentioned above, we text a lot, by a lot I mean almost every day, but just throughout the day, making small talk. She always asks for me to come visit her while we are working. She also says she misses me when we haven't seen each other in a while. But the thing is, I miss her too. We have hung out outside of work twice, both times really late at night. But we only just talk about random things while we are together, I think we enjoy each others company more than anything. I don't know, I just feel some weird connection with this girl. She even called me late one night crying because her and her boyfriend had got into a fight (which apparently they never do), we talked for almost thirty minutes before her boyfriend called to patch things up with her.

    We go to separate universities in different parts of the state, and she leaves the first week of August, and honestly, I am going to miss her. She constantly asks me if I'm going to "forget about her" when we she leaves, and I tell her there is no way I could, especially after the bond that we have made.

    I also am currently trying to think of other things that have happened between us that I feel is worth mentioning, so don't be alarmed by random updates.

    Oh and don't worry. I have no plans to cheat on my girlfriend with this girl, but I don't know if I have ever connected with another person as quickly and as strong as I have with this chick.

    tl;dr: became extremely close with female co-worker over the summer, can't tell what to make of my feelings towards her. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for over 2 years, and she has also been in a relationship for around the same time.

    I just need help GC. I am not a bad person, just can't help these feelings. What would you do if you were in this situation?
  2. I honestly have no idea what you are trying to ask? I guess stay friends with her and if your paths cross in the future and you are both single go out with her? As of right now you are both in committed relationships and will be going separate ways, stay in touch she could be a close friend that you can talk and relate to whenever you want.
  3. If you have feelings for another, your relationship is obv weakening. You'll be single eventually. Once i started feeling this way about other girl in my 4 year relationship, shit went down hill and I ended up cheating so take it from me bro, Get out while you can before you do something you never thought you'd do!
  4. well... that sums it up, no? you're becoming good friends with another female, who happens to be attractive. it happens..

    maybe if you and your girlfriend break up down the road, you can hit that :ey: but really.. nothing to worry about unless you feel like you're becoming attracted to her to the point of making bad decisions while you're still with your girlfriend
  5. [quote name='"m18"']I honestly have no idea what you are trying to ask? I guess stay friends with her and if your paths cross in the future and you are both single go out with her? As of right now you are both in committed relationships and will be going separate ways, stay in touch she could be a close friend that you can talk and relate to whenever you want.[/quote]

    Basically the question is, "How would YOU guys handle this situation?" if you were in my shoes. I can't get that chick off my mind.
  6. Maybe I'm a fucking idiot, but I wouldn't be in a committed relationship with anyone that I COULDNT talk about this kind of shit with....maybe i don't know shit about girls and ur gf will totally freak, but id sit down and explain this to her
  7. "Guys I have a girlfriend"

    *Writes novel on a female co-worker*

    "Oh by the way I have a girlfriend" lmao you don't want her, admit it.

  8. Well, jokes aside, I think he is really treading the decision-making line between keeping a good, committed thing going and acting on impulse due to passionate infatuation. I wouldn't mock it, tough call for some people.

  9. You're exactly right, she would freak. That's why I am holding off telling her, since me and this other chick will be going our separate ways shortly, I want to see if this "flame" dies when we aren't around each other.
  10. I can almost guarantee it will. Proximity leads to attraction, attraction leads to lust, and lust leads to impulses. So, good call on holding off, maybe shit will all be well. But how do u really feel about ur current girlfriend? Do u love her? Are u satisfied with her? Do u still find her sexually attractive?

    Edit: And thanks for the rep bro :D
  11. My girlfriend is the extremely clingy type. When I go back to school, she won't be there so I am going to see how the clingyness continues. Yes, I still love her. But the last two questions... It's terrible I know, but I have a lot of stuff to figure out I guess.
  12. You are growing a lot because of your co-worker.

    It is nice to feel appreciated and have someone let you know you are attractive. Your confidence has developed and you will be fine. Others have summed it up nicely. Remain friends, stay with your gf (at least for now and don't be tempted to cheat). :smoke:
  13. thats abit of a problem.
  14. if you guys are both seriously attracted to eachother, call it off with ur current lovers then go for eachother. cheating just dont fly in my book. lol
    it just comes down to ur opinion; who is more important to you - your girlfriend or your friend?

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