IMPORTANT new gov warnings

I downloaded it fine but it was still a li'l screwy, maybe you should just copy and paste it to a post if it's not too big.

It does seem interesting, what the fuck is my government doing now? This looks to be almost as bad as the whole duct tape and plastic sheeting thing (if you know what I'm talking about).

 

i wanted to have a look at this, tryed a few times but no joy.
i wanna c if its as stupid as the info on the uk gov web sight.
gr8 aint it, the only place u can get info on what we shd do incase the shit hits the fan is on the net. if u aint got a pc on the net and go out of ur way to find it they dont give a toss about u.

if some1 can post it up here that wud b cool.

 

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The US government has a new website,  HYPERLINK "http://www.ready.gov" http://www.ready.gov.

The thing is that the pictures from the site are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations.


 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_dont_run.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET 

If you have set yourself on fire, do not run

 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_shout.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET 

If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.

 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_open_door.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET 

If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder

 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/bio_vis_substance.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET 


If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about a cool design for a new tattoo.

 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_flashlight.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET 

Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!

 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_wash.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET 


The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand.

 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_cover_nose.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET 

Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the hell away.

 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_area.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET 


Hurricanes, animal corpses and your potential new tattoo have a lot in common. Think about it.

 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_affected.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET 


Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.

 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_closed_door.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET 


If a door is closed, karate chop it open.

 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_rad_time.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET 


Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile

 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/nuc_vis_building.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET 


After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.
 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_high_windows.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET 


If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that shit.

 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_high_stay.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET 


-- If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.

 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/bio_vis_resp.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET 


If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they stop.

 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_dust.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET 

If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.

 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_drop_roll.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET 

If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it.

 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_car_wire.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET 

Do not drive a stations wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.

 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_rad_shield.gif" \* MERGEFORMATINET 


-- A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.

 INCLUDEPICTURE "http://www.geocities.com/zoi_sama/food.txt" \* MERGEFORMATINET 

Always remember to carry food with you during a terrorist attack. At least you'll be able to enjoy a nice coke and apple before you die.