I.. Have not lived a hard life. I grew up in a upper middle class family in Santa Clarita. Even with all the love and support my family gave me. Tutors.. Etc and I don't mean to brag. I'm relatively smart.. I could easily pull a 3.5+ GPA but.. I always managed to pull the lowest grade possible to pass the class. In every class. I would refuse to do anything assigned for OUT of school work. So homework, book reports, papers, projects. If it was out of class. It didn't get done. Mainly because I formed a "Fuck the System" attitude very young and in my mind. I rationalized what I was doing by tellin myself that it was Idiotic, and should be against the rules. Well.. Now I have a job.. That I didn't want. I was handed/forced since I didn't have very many other options and I'm NOT going to school. Well.. I was told.. "Just ride it out for a year.. And see how it goes" Skip forward one year to today. The company I'm working for is merging with a bigger one and that'll mean that Im moving from working a family business.. To more corporate. Im gunna have set hours. Etc. which I didn't have at my last job.. But it's the same job.. Stuck in a shop prepping packages to go out on shoots.. For the next however. Long. That commitment. Scares me. Legitimately. And I'm.. |--|--------| that fucking close to jumping ship. For NO REASON. I can't even find a way to rationalize it. But it's the crazy urge. I have never had my body talk to me in the way it's been the last few months.. Like.. A force is Pushing me to quit. But.. If I quit. All I'll have to my name is my car.. Some clothes.. A TV and my grow. So.. I mean. I KNOW what I should do. What the right choice is. But for some reason I NEED to quit.. I don't understand why I do these things. And I don't expect anyone here to either. But yeAh. /SelfInflictedRant EDIT: I forgot to mention. That a bunch of those behaviors where I have the ability to blow something off that NEEDS to be done but rationalize it in my mind happens at work to.. Generally it works out and I just get it done at a different time but I've defiantly ended up in hot water because of it..
What's wrong with set hours? (unless they are 3rd shift) It will be better if you just change jobs while you still have a job instead of just quitting. Big corporations do kind of suck. I got in trouble for not having a pass to turn in a pass to turn in a pass at a big company.
Damn i did that shit in highschool.. My parents spent so much money on tutors and tryed so hard to help me get good grades and i just never did. Was always making up classes online and getting d's and f's saying ill do better next quarter. Makes me feel so shitty thinking about it like i owe them something :/
You can't fix a problem by telling the symptoms. The attitude is caused by something, find it. You're scared of growing up a bit, and commitment. Commitment in the sense of belonging to a group (a job, or society in general) to the point of nonconformism. Why do you sell yourself short in the name of nonconformism? In highschool, I put in the most minimal effort possible and still got solid grades. It bums me out to think of how much better I could have done if I applied myself. Straight up though man, I'd be down to talk to you on skype about the whole thing. Communication without speech is slow, and it means less. PM me
Your "NEED" to quit probably stems from the fact that you've never had to actually work for anything in your life, and moving to a more regimented schedule for your job represents a move from the old "I can do whatever the fuck I want" paradigm into one of "I'm going to have a set of responsibilities now" Time to man up. Time to grow from a boy, who naturally has a IDGAF attitude, into a man who has responsibilities. You can't just jump ship every time shit gets real
^^ yeah because economic collapse will make your life so much easier. Honestly man, if having scheduled hours is enough commitment to scare the shit out of you, then your in for a goddamn system shock son.