Im stoned stories!!

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by KiinGKusH, Oct 11, 2010.

  1. Im stonedd right now, the time is about 1:30 am. im in central minnesota and its a nice fall day pretty warm for fall. good stuff its sunday night but i dont have school tomorrow cuz im suspended cuz this bitch teacher is a cunt. this bitch calls me into the hall regarding what happened "yesterday" when there was a substitute. Shes like the sub told me u werent working at all and u were talking to others. im like yea im already done so i had nothing to work on so i just talked with and helped others. shes like well i gotta remove u since the form is already written up and im like why u dont have to do that and shes like yea u gotta go to the office im like wut teh fuck did i do and shes like watch it and i left and down the hall there was this door to the other hall and i slammed it open and made a big bang that rang througout the school. Me and 2 friends all got removed and one of them was like fuck this and left school. it was 7th hour out of 8. and my other friend was a puss kind of and was just like oh well im goin to the office. i was like fuck this shit this bitch is lying so i went to my locker and packed my shit up and was about to leave but decided to go up to the office cuz i get in more trouble if i dont so o well. well i go up there and the assistant principal is out that day so this teacher who always fills in for him was there. Ive had him as a teacher for 4 years. im currently a senior and he teaches my advanced comprehension class and ive had him for english since 9th grade. i like him hes cool, nice guy, chiill, jokes around alot but the funny part is he acts serious so u think hes serious then hes just kidding. idk u gotta know him and its funny trust me. but anywho,... he calls me into his office and says so u got removed from work experience with mrs. s and im like yea and he asks me to tell my side and i say welll it says i didnt work but im already done with the project we were supposed to be doing and i helped a few of my friends choose the topic of their proect and hes like well thats not wut this says so ur gunna be removed for today and im like wutever this is dumb can i get this taken away hes like well if u go talk to her and she can take it back. and hes like and this is ur 2nd removal from that class already this semester and he asks wut happened the 1st time i got removed and im like well shes like everyone quiet no talkin and i was quiet but my friend who was gone the day before asked wut to do for this project and i whispered to him just draw stuff u like on there and she comes over hey no talkin and im like sorry i was just helpin him and shes like no talkin so i ask can i ask u about the project and shes like no now leave ur disrespectful and not being quiet and im like umm ur a teacher i asked u a question its my constitutional right to speak and shes like leave then this hoebag bitch cunt in the class was like omg grow up and just leave so as im walking out i say shut the fuck up bitch and leave. and i told him that i got kicked out for helpin my friend on a project and asking her a question he laughed alittle and said well id just go talk to her so i said k, and it was friday so hes like well u cant come to school monday or be on the property at all that day or u will get a tresspassing ticket im like pff and just left so then i sat down till the end of the hour and then went to my last hour clas which is woodshop, its pretty boring and being a senior i dont wanna do much so i just skipped and went home to smoke wit a friend. we got high and talked about how teachers are on power trips and power highs andd abuse their power on us students, because if ur a teacher u have to deal with kids and talking is involved so if u dont like that why the fuck did u become a teacher its ur own fault. and shit idk teachers can be gay as fuck and shit. but yea so im home alone and my friend who recently moved to fargo nd, calls me and is like dude im gunna get so high and im like u fucker cuz he comes down here and i get him really blazed and shit but yea so im like damn im gunna have to get high too and shit so hes like yea me and dacotah are gunna get high, im like kk dude me too call me after u smoke and hes like ok. so i got my weed which i keep in a sick stash spot in my room along wit a stash of white owls, a grinder, a couple pill jars, 1 for weed, 1 for stems, 1 for seeds now just cuz i said seeds doesnt mean i smoke shit weed wit seeds its just htat me and 2 friends recently harvested a grow which u can see on my profile of some black pearl from hgs but one plant slightly hermied and we couldnt tell so like there is one seed every couple buds but it didnt damage anything and is still sooo potent but yea so i keep the seeds for a next grow, and some baggies some lighters, some cyclones and etc smokin shit. but i lack a good piece i usually smoke blunts and joints but i didnt have enough weed so i made a little onnie out of a end of a 2x4. i drilled through with a tiny bit then got a 3/8in bit and drilled part of the way through exactly lining up with the littler hole. its liek a mini bowl onnie. so i packed the rest of my weed in it. i went out onto my step outside cuz everyones sleeping and its ok the coast is clear. my friend said they smoked a blunt and they never rolled a blunt before he said hahah i laughed cuz i always roll some dank ones for us but im not wit them. but they managed. so i toked up pretty deep bowl too and alot of kief on top. its a frankenstein high we call it cuz it crept on me after almost hte whole bowl it hit me like a punch in the nuts. i was ripped. so everything was good but outside my house we have 1 light on each side of the door of the entryway and above them is the overhang of the roof and there are like 50 spiders there. they were huge but not like trantula shit. just normal spider huge shit. so there were around 3 to 5 hits left so i took the hit inhaled and blew the smoke on them. they started twackin nuts and like spinning around in their web and jsut fall off the wall and lay on the ground and slowly move their legs. NOW THEY WERE RIPPED hahah it was great but usually i hate them spiders they soo fuckin wierd and scare the fuck outta me when i think they on me and shit cuz eeww man. but yea i was likke imagin me wit hte spiders justlayin there veggin out and shit all high but then i went inside and my dog and cat were there haha fuckin pets i love them. but yea so i went up stairs and went to my pantry and got a nutty bar but fuck theres only one nutty bar in a pack like wtf theres always 2 fuckin economy... so i ate it then im like im still hungry as tits. so i made 3 ramen cups. roasted chicken, beef, and shrimp with lime. it was so chronic im just in a great mood drinkin pepsi sittin on my computer. but my friend called me and was so high then we talked about dacotah and him comin here for our break comin up. dacotah just turned 18 and his parents still tellin him wut to do and he has to be home by a certain time he needs to man up and say im an adult here people i dont need a curfew and i can do my shit my own fuckin way! but he didnt lil bitch ass and so we just kept tellin him he needs to come down and smoke this crazy shit. he never smoke a real bong and nothing besides little pipes shitty bongs and js and bleezys. but yea so we wud go to my friend jacks house and hes got a 18" illadelph wit3 percs and 2 femas or something like that its crazy and get retarded off that then smoke his like 1 foot medicali wit like 5 percs in the stem idk its tight tho, and smoke out of his vape its not a volcano but it gets u chirped. or put the hose of the vape into where the slides spposed to go on the bong and smoke the vape through the bong, "vonging" we did it all one day and got straight retarded like i dont even remember. but yea we were tellin him all this and hes like sketchin kinda and idk i hope he comes but yea so we were gunna go play some halo reach cuz its so good fuckin cod mod 2 was good but too many cheaters it kinda blew ass come to think of it even though i put so many hours into that game. but get this i was playin halo today and nobody was on so i just played a little before i went ot hangout with my gf. but over the past couple weeks i took some time out to beat it on legendary. i died so many fuckin times and got so pissed on occasion but finally i was at the last level. it took me a long ass time to beat this one level cuz it was so hard. its the last level on halo reach where u have to clear the loading dock u got soem shitty guns but theres like 20 brutes and some fags wit sheilds and then some grunts and ships all over but i finlaly beat it then my ***** up in the mac gun gets fuckin shanked by a gay ass elite but before he dies he caps the elite in teh dome wit a shotty. yeeahhhhh du. but he dies hten so i gotta go up there and shit so my homies in the ship can leave wit the new technology which is cortona since halo reach is a prequal to halo 1. but yea so i go through this 1st door and theres 2 grunts who i just shotgun easy then theres a fuckin elite that deezes in there and i almost die but kill him then this fagget ass bitch cunt elite is standing on this walk way wit his boyfriend another elite and htey got this giant ballsack looking thing wit tentacles flying above them idk wut it does but i like turns purple and flashes light every couple mins and yea gross as fuck but ya so i use hologram to distract them and deeeez across to the other side without being shot but one has a fuckin focus rifle and an energy sword and the other just has a needler and some other gay shit but ya so i go to this room and get health replenished and new ammo and then use hologram to draw them out. the fagg wit the focus rifle whips out his fuckin energy sword and dips at my hologram i rofled cuz its not real and hes a fuckin idiot but yea so now hes on the prowl for me cuz he knows i tricked his bitch ass and im chillin in this corner then he comes around the corner and i cap him in the back wit a fuckin shotty and i have to do this like 4 times then melee him and he dies so now i need ot kill 1 more guy and rush him and cap him in his domepiece wit a shotty a couple times and pummel him and now im done but my health is down alot so i go up and hop in that big ass mac gun and starrt mowin down fuckin covanent ships and it takes me like 20 tries but i finally beat it got i got pissed. so i beat the game and hten i played the survival level which is gay so i just purposely died right away and then im all happy cuz i beatit on legendary now thats an accomplishment so it goes back to the main screen and i dont get my gamerscore and no fuckin acchievement and it doesnt say that i beat it on legendary now wut the fuck is this some kinda joke im fuckin pissed and shit but o well i spoose i beat it whether u motherfuckers believe it or not. anyway i decide to play a little online so i do and rapeby the way. i missed half a match of slayer and came back and won rofl. but yea halo is a dank ass game u need to get it. REACH!! cant wait til COD Black Ops it will be tight but i can see it being gay. o well i gotta get it. well yea so im still really high u shud check out my grow op and comment cuz nobody fuckin comments relaly thanks tho who did!! but yea comment cuz its a good ass grow op for some kids whove never done it before haha. but yea thanks for reading i really appreciate it and comment to show wut u think. IM SO HIGH!!
     
  2. i saw the phrase "i capped him" and was to high to bother reading the whole thing hahah
     
  3. I stopped reading after "Im". For some reason, your post pissed me off.
     
  4. That was a long post.

    I woke up today after a night of smoking and only had $20 on me so I bought a bag and got a good deal on some nice bud. Smoked 2 blunts earlier and finishing the 3rd now as I type this, I just started smoking again after a year so I'm still getting mad high.

    Ya I'm blazed. :smoke:
     
  5. btw your teacher sounds like a real bitch.
     
  6. wallotext.

    Didn't read solely:smoke: because i couldn't focus through lol
     
  7. i just read the whole thing
    reach spoiler alert
     
  8. Your post is Invalid, consider making a TL;DR for us lazy stoners.
     
  9. or just press the enter button a few times
    make some paragraphs I keep losing my
    place
     

  10. thats alot typing
     
  11. college years...in those years my tolerance was quite low.....got trashed one night on alcohol and weed...when the munchies hit, a buddy of mine hooked me up with some fajitas and after eating, i just had to throw up....i remember staring at my vomit afterwards and seeing long, cylindirical pieces of meat and going" damn im still hungry" so i picked out those strips of puke-fajitas and ate them...bleh
     
  12. You need to put that bitch in her place. and then you need to smoke a blunt. I get mids for about 2$/g and headies for 1$, so im better than you. Now that we have estabilished that you are a huge faggot for blockoftxt syndrome, have a good day and enjoy my story. Im stonedd right now, the time is about 1:30 am. im in central minnesota and its a nice fall day pretty warm for fall. good stuff its sunday night but i dont have school tomorrow cuz im suspended cuz this bitch teacher is a cunt. this bitch calls me into the hall regarding what happened "yesterday" when there was a substitute. Shes like the sub told me u werent working at all and u were talking to others. im like yea im already done so i had nothing to work on so i just talked with and helped others. shes like well i gotta remove u since the form is already written up and im like why u dont have to do that and shes like yea u gotta go to the office im like wut teh fuck did i do and shes like watch it and i left and down the hall there was this door to the other hall and i slammed it open and made a big bang that rang througout the school. Me and 2 friends all got removed and one of them was like fuck this and left school. it was 7th hour out of 8. and my other friend was a puss kind of and was just like oh well im goin to the office. i was like fuck this shit this bitch is lying so i went to my locker and packed my shit up and was about to leave but decided to go up to the office cuz i get in more trouble if i dont so o well. well i go up there and the assistant principal is out that day so this teacher who always fills in for him was there. Ive had him as a teacher for 4 years. im currently a senior and he teaches my advanced comprehension class and ive had him for english since 9th grade. i like him hes cool, nice guy, chiill, jokes around alot but the funny part is he acts serious so u think hes serious then hes just kidding. idk u gotta know him and its funny trust me. but anywho,... he calls me into his office and says so u got removed from work experience with mrs. s and im like yea and he asks me to tell my side and i say welll it says i didnt work but im already done with the project we were supposed to be doing and i helped a few of my friends choose the topic of their proect and hes like well thats not wut this says so ur gunna be removed for today and im like wutever this is dumb can i get this taken away hes like well if u go talk to her and she can take it back. and hes like and this is ur 2nd removal from that class already this semester and he asks wut happened the 1st time i got removed and im like well shes like everyone quiet no talkin and i was quiet but my friend who was gone the day before asked wut to do for this project and i whispered to him just draw stuff u like on there and she comes over hey no talkin and im like sorry i was just helpin him and shes like no talkin so i ask can i ask u about the project and shes like no now leave ur disrespectful and not being quiet and im like umm ur a teacher i asked u a question its my constitutional right to speak and shes like leave then this hoebag bitch cunt in the class was like omg grow up and just leave so as im walking out i say shut the fuck up bitch and leave. and i told him that i got kicked out for helpin my friend on a project and asking her a question he laughed alittle and said well id just go talk to her so i said k, and it was friday so hes like well u cant come to school monday or be on the property at all that day or u will get a tresspassing ticket im like pff and just left so then i sat down till the end of the hour and then went to my last hour clas which is woodshop, its pretty boring and being a senior i dont wanna do much so i just skipped and went home to smoke wit a friend. we got high and talked about how teachers are on power trips and power highs andd abuse their power on us students, because if ur a teacher u have to deal with kids and talking is involved so if u dont like that why the fuck did u become a teacher its ur own fault. and shit idk teachers can be gay as fuck and shit. but yea so im home alone and my friend who recently moved to fargo nd, calls me and is like dude im gunna get so high and im like u fucker cuz he comes down here and i get him really blazed and shit but yea so im like damn im gunna have to get high too and shit so hes like yea me and dacotah are gunna get high, im like kk dude me too call me after u smoke and hes like ok. so i got my weed which i keep in a sick stash spot in my room along wit a stash of white owls, a grinder, a couple pill jars, 1 for weed, 1 for stems, 1 for seeds now just cuz i said seeds doesnt mean i smoke shit weed wit seeds its just htat me and 2 friends recently harvested a grow which u can see on my profile of some black pearl from hgs but one plant slightly hermied and we couldnt tell so like there is one seed every couple buds but it didnt damage anything and is still sooo potent but yea so i keep the seeds for a next grow, and some baggies some lighters, some cyclones and etc smokin shit. but i lack a good piece i usually smoke blunts and joints but i didnt have enough weed so i made a little onnie out of a end of a 2x4. i drilled through with a tiny bit then got a 3/8in bit and drilled part of the way through exactly lining up with the littler hole. its liek a mini bowl onnie. so i packed the rest of my weed in it. i went out onto my step outside cuz everyones sleeping and its ok the coast is clear. my friend said they smoked a blunt and they never rolled a blunt before he said hahah i laughed cuz i always roll some dank ones for us but im not wit them. but they managed. so i toked up pretty deep bowl too and alot of kief on top. its a frankenstein high we call it cuz it crept on me after almost hte whole bowl it hit me like a punch in the nuts. i was ripped. so everything was good but outside my house we have 1 light on each side of the door of the entryway and above them is the overhang of the roof and there are like 50 spiders there. they were huge but not like trantula shit. just normal spider huge shit. so there were around 3 to 5 hits left so i took the hit inhaled and blew the smoke on them. they started twackin nuts and like spinning around in their web and jsut fall off the wall and lay on the ground and slowly move their legs. NOW THEY WERE RIPPED hahah it was great but usually i hate them spiders they soo fuckin wierd and scare the fuck outta me when i think they on me and shit cuz eeww man. but yea i was likke imagin me wit hte spiders justlayin there veggin out and shit all high but then i went inside and my dog and cat were there haha fuckin pets i love them. but yea so i went up stairs and went to my pantry and got a nutty bar but fuck theres only one nutty bar in a pack like wtf theres always 2 fuckin economy... so i ate it then im like im still hungry as tits. so i made 3 ramen cups. roasted chicken, beef, and shrimp with lime. it was so chronic im just in a great mood drinkin pepsi sittin on my computer. but my friend called me and was so high then we talked about dacotah and him comin here for our break comin up. dacotah just turned 18 and his parents still tellin him wut to do and he has to be home by a certain time he needs to man up and say im an adult here people i dont need a curfew and i can do my shit my own fuckin way! but he didnt lil bitch ass and so we just kept tellin him he needs to come down and smoke this crazy shit. he never smoke a real bong and nothing besides little pipes shitty bongs and js and bleezys. but yea so we wud go to my friend jacks house and hes got a 18" illadelph wit3 percs and 2 femas or something like that its crazy and get retarded off that then smoke his like 1 foot medicali wit like 5 percs in the stem idk its tight tho, and smoke out of his vape its not a volcano but it gets u chirped. or put the hose of the vape into where the slides spposed to go on the bong and smoke the vape through the bong, "vonging" we did it all one day and got straight retarded like i dont even remember. but yea we were tellin him all this and hes like sketchin kinda and idk i hope he comes but yea so we were gunna go play some halo reach cuz its so good fuckin cod mod 2 was good but too many cheaters it kinda blew ass come to think of it even though i put so many hours into that game. but get this i was playin halo today and nobody was on so i just played a little before i went ot hangout with my gf. but over the past couple weeks i took some time out to beat it on legendary. i died so many fuckin times and got so pissed on occasion but finally i was at the last level. it took me a long ass time to beat this one level cuz it was so hard. its the last level on halo reach where u have to clear the loading dock u got soem shitty guns but theres like 20 brutes and some fags wit sheilds and then some grunts and ships all over but i finlaly beat it then my ***** up in the mac gun gets fuckin shanked by a gay ass elite but before he dies he caps the elite in teh dome wit a shotty. yeeahhhhh du. but he dies hten so i gotta go up there and shit so my homies in the ship can leave wit the new technology which is cortona since halo reach is a prequal to halo 1. but yea so i go through this 1st door and theres 2 grunts who i just shotgun easy then theres a fuckin elite that deezes in there and i almost die but kill him then this fagget ass bitch cunt elite is standing on this walk way wit his boyfriend another elite and htey got this giant ballsack looking thing wit tentacles flying above them idk wut it does but i like turns purple and flashes light every couple mins and yea gross as fuck but ya so i use hologram to distract them and deeeez across to the other side without being shot but one has a fuckin focus rifle and an energy sword and the other just has a needler and some other gay shit but ya so i go to this room and get health replenished and new ammo and then use hologram to draw them out. the fagg wit the focus rifle whips out his fuckin energy sword and dips at my hologram i rofled cuz its not real and hes a fuckin idiot but yea so now hes on the prowl for me cuz he knows i tricked his bitch ass and im chillin in this corner then he comes around the corner and i cap him in the back wit a fuckin shotty and i have to do this like 4 times then melee him and he dies so now i need ot kill 1 more guy and rush him and cap him in his domepiece wit a shotty a couple times and pummel him and now im done but my health is down alot so i go up and hop in that big ass mac gun and starrt mowin down fuckin covanent ships and it takes me like 20 tries but i finally beat it got i got pissed. so i beat the game and hten i played the survival level which is gay so i just purposely died right away and then im all happy cuz i beatit on legendary now thats an accomplishment so it goes back to the main screen and i dont get my gamerscore and no fuckin acchievement and it doesnt say that i beat it on legendary now wut the fuck is this some kinda joke im fuckin pissed and shit but o well i spoose i beat it whether u motherfuckers believe it or not. anyway i decide to play a little online so i do and rapeby the way. i missed half a match of slayer and came back and won rofl. but yea halo is a dank ass game u need to get it. REACH!! cant wait til COD Black Ops it will be tight but i can see it being gay. o well i gotta get it. well yea so im still really high u shud check out my grow op and comment cuz nobody fuckin comments relaly thanks tho who did!! but yea comment cuz its a good ass grow op for some kids whove never done it before haha. but yea thanks for reading i really appreciate it and comment to show wut u think. IM SO HIGH!!
     
  13. heres my story: I was high. I tried to read this bullshit, and now my eyes hurt.

    The end.
     
  14. Helpful suggestion: While you are going along in your post make a paragraph around every 4-5 lines, so the eyes have a place to judge where you are in that wall of text and can keep your place.
    No offense, but did you have a point you wanted to make? I probably read about half and gave up, I usually don't give up, but I'm getting old and so I need new glasses again and was getting eye strain.
     

  15. this. nothing personal, just looking at that much text annoys me for some reason :eek: :smoke::smoking:
     
  16. Holy waterfall of text. Please add cliffs for us lazy people? :p
     

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