Im Scared Of Falling In Love

 
When you were a baby, you had to learn to stand for yourself. You fell many times. Some days you reverted to crawling because it was easier and it got you where you wanted to go faster. Other days you were fine putting in the extra effort and seeing where small spats of walking got you. Then before you knew it, you had outgrown crawling- it was no longer the most effective method. If anything you now perceived it as rudimentary, right? "How did I ever fucking just spend all this time destroying my knees going as fast I could from place to place on hard surfaces? What in the actual fuck?"

Love's very similar in that being safe is regarded as the best option, but only by those who have nothing to show due to their own caution. You can sidestep the drama, the bullshit, and the procrastination, by essentially being very guarded and kind of shunning love. It gets you results, but they are bittersweet. Everyone who has ever loved and been loved, can tell you about how they were cheated on, fucking destroyed emotionally, taken advantage of, crushed, made eternally happy, sexually satisfied, whatever it may be, but they will always say it with an emphasis that implies that it weighs very heavily on them all the time- these experiences and mounds of romantic filler that goes to the very core of who they are. I wouldn't necessarily consider myself someone who believes in "love". I'm a very analytical person, although far from the smartest, but I have always been very blunt in my perception of things. I find love to simply be necessity. After you wipe away all the romantic bullshit, sentiments, and gender roles, it really is just two people needing each other, and if they so happen to actually click on some or all levels, that only serves to strengthen the bond. Even though this is how I perceive love, I still hold it in high regard, being only second to the pursuit of knowledge as an inherent existential goal. I think it's only natural to be afraid of something that holds such prestige for our species. For all intents and purposes, love is it- love is what drives people to become better versions of themselves to be cherished by other people. In the same way that it's kind of a shitshow and fucked up that we as a species, are actually the main product in our own little consumerist shithole, it's also oddly poetic how everything from progression in sciences, to star athletes being born, are solely driven by love and a passion for people or anything. On this planet, love is a common cold, so there's really no reason to fear it. It's a fear that you would incite yourself to feel thousands of times over. In fact, if you relayed those fears to someone who loves you, they'd probably give you a bunch of solid reasons not to- whether those end up being spiritually, emotionally, or sexually, really depends on who loves you. But ideally, it could be all three.