well there's good and bad I work 2-3 jobs each week, building police cars, driving cars in a dealers auction, and delivering pizza. I go to one of Canada's top university and am hoping to go to law school next. I'm working out, eating healthier, and trying to take better care of myself and not constantly put others before me because I always do The bad is that I'm pretty well stoned and a little drunk all day and night. I sleep for a few hours at a time and blaze and have a few drinks and pass out again to the point that no one can even tell if im buzzed because I always am I'm 19 and I really need to take a break from everything but I've been finding it really difficult lately. I blaze and drink every few hours so any thing longer than that is a lot but I smoke on my work breaks to so I don't even know what to say for myself. I'd like to think taking a vacation, like a road trip, somewhere isolated alone I could get back to normal but whatever I could change there I could change where I am right now, I just don't want to for some reason, is symbolism that powerful or am I just being an idiot and losing mind?