I'm Not Invincible Anymore....

Discussion in 'Philosophy' started by The Botanist, Jan 28, 2011.


  1. This depression of yours.There's gotta be a reason for its comeback.

    I'd say it was your subconscious trying to tell you something.

    It's letting you know that your life is truly meaningless.

    Meaning that there is no purpose, and if you try to create some artificial fulfillment in your life --like money and careers-- your inner-self, or whatever you wanna call it, lets you know that this sucks and it's not right.
    Like an automatic depression trigger.

    Life IS truly meaningless, but that doesn't stop you from enjoying it.

    Life can be brutal but fun.

    Your condition will pass and return. Typical cycle.
     
  2. You probably became too attached to the feeling and your "ego" built itself back up that way.
     
  3. Pretty much yes. I mean what's the difference dying now and in 60 years?

    I hope to god it does. Or at least let me hold out for another few months.

    Could be. I don't know how i would solve the problem by eliminating the very feeling i want to achieve.
     
  4. #24 Postal Blowfish, Jan 28, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 28, 2011
    No one is ever invincible, I found out the hard way and it looks like you have too.

    There were stoics who claimed they could alter their feelings, such as the feelings of unwarranted humanity you claim to feel. I would argue they are not unwarranted at all, and a little bit of self-examination might reveal that to be true. On the other hand, maybe some piece of you isn't ready to abdicate emotion. In any case, if it is true that your guilt has no reasonable basis, then the best you can do is to act as one of them now and adjust yourself to it. If that is true, then you will have to see that powerfully enough to overcome it, or I would guess that you know deep within that whatever your feelings are, they are warranted. If they're baseless, you can face and master them. If you did it once, you can do it again.

    Assuming you succeed, you should spend your first free time from it trying to understand the true nature of this guilt. Might it be as simple as weed availability? Is this a coincidence or is this really the first time you've been dry in all that time? :devious: If it is as simple as that, it may be time for you to stop smoking for awhile.
     
  5. It's the first time i've been dry in a year. I feel like i have nothing to look forward to besides weed. After smoking so much life just seems dull. I'm always low and i smoke to get normal, not high.
     
  6. I also struggle with vices. I have found that denying yourself these vices can give one clarity. It is sometimes true that we use our vices as a crutch. This philosophy you have given yourself should be able to survive the process, or it is not worth continuing.
     
  7. I don't want to have clarity, i need it to be hazy so i can't see all the wrong things in my life.
     
  8. That is the talk of desperation. There is no path toward resolution of problems that does not include the recognition of those problems. Claim as you would that you are not interested in solving these problems, but after you do that then explain to us why you created this thread.

    No one will breathe life into your existence except you.
     
  9. You're forgetting mary jane.
     
  10. #30 Postal Blowfish, Jan 28, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 28, 2011
    If there were a real Mary Jane, I would imagine she hates it when people talk like this.

    If you're pinning your hopes on poor Mary Jane, I can only imagine she would rather you put your hopes in someone else... like yourself. I hate to keep suggesting a break, but I have to. The metaphors keep lining up. A break doesn't have to be permanent. But you can't allow your life to continue to be such that it revolves around the grass, it has to be that the grass comes into your life when you decide and not any other way. I can't see how a person will be happy any other way.

    edit:
    perhaps you need to reexamine that philosophy that made you feel invincible while completely sober. if you can return to it without the vice, i don't see how anything could ever take it away from you.
     
  11. Yeah i figured this out about 1 min after i started to feel like shit. The real question is how.
     
  12. read 'awakening to your life's purpose' by eckhart tolle. excellent read on separating the ego from consciousness and even touches on spirituality. if you're open to change, acceptance, and happiness i'd recommend it to anyone.
     
  13. #33 TheMilkman420, Jan 28, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 28, 2011
    I'd say that the guilt comes from the perception that you are denying yourself emotions. You are aware that these emotions are real, exist in full, and need to be stifled (says you); perhaps you are guilty because on some level, deep down, you know that everyone needs to feel at some point.

    We can all feel emotions; but it's how we, OURSELVES internally perceive and interpret these emotions that affects us. Why are you afraid to feel? what part of yourself are you afraid of interpretting?

    From the outside looking in, it seems that someone who doesnt want to feel, is trying not to feel a specific way that was experienced in the past which hurt or scared them. it's this initial feeling which in turn produces the urge to stifle all feelings, as a defense mechanism.

    So again, what are you afraid to feel?
     
  14. Sadness, anger, jealousy(mainly). These negatives greatly outweigh positives so i might as well get rid of it all.
     
  15. You're running from

    Run towards
     
  16. If you want to stop the boat in the middle of the ocean, first you need the ocean to be calm and still. You can't stop your baot if there is storm and hurricanes and shit like that.

    First, calm the water.
    Then, you do nothing.
    Then, the boat will come to stop.

    Once it has stopped, it will remain still as long as the sea remains peaceful, and as long as you don't do anything (dramatic) to the boat.

    May be fishing is ok. And smoking a joint. But only on the deck. Not in the cabbin.
     

  17. When I say happy and love I mean be happy and love what you have in life and who you are in life. And love your life and the essence of it. I don't mean that fake 21st century bullshit version of love "OMG!!! I love you so much <3" Which is as empty as the value of a dollar. Or you see some girl you think is hot and say "dude I think I am in love" DAMN WRONG! that is not love too. And the false 21st century version of happiness "Yes I just got 20$ bucks my life is much more happy".....I think I'm getting off topic by showing my disappointment of this century and pretty much the rest of humanity but you get my point right?
     

  18. I ask myself these questions all the time when I have a strong feeling of depression or any strong emotion making me feel bad and when I answer these questions I feel as if I am cured because I realize that those emotions trying to empower are not truly caused by anything but my own thoughts. And that they are not even worth letting them get me down. I suggest you do the same. If you want you can share your results. You should answer in decending order. Answer the first question with the current emotions you have and the biased view of yourself you have. And then start letting go and answer the rest of the questions with an open/clear mind.

    What is my ego/personality?
    What am I good at?
    What do I want in life?
    What makes me happy?
    What makes me sad?
    What makes me angry?
    What should I make of myself knowing these things?
     

  19. The greatest of men is he who embraces his darker nature and uses it for good...
     
  20. happyness and sadness are the same emotion, they're just different degrees of the same thing.

    i'm kind of in the same boat, typically i have a pretty good grip on my emotional state. but lately i'm just flat out depressed. it doesn't really bother me though, because i know you can't be happy without being sad. as long as you're experiencing one degree of emotion, you're capable of experience the opposite. you can't have happy days without sad ones, otherwise they're all just average.

    be happy that you know what pain is. be happy that since you know what pain is, you know what joy is. happy days will come, just give it time.

    i'm sure you'll feel better once spring rolls around, that's how it is with me. it's hard to be happy when it's cold and grey out.
     

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