I'm not going to approach this girl for 30 days

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Peppie, May 27, 2009.

  1. #1 Peppie, May 27, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: May 28, 2009
    *UPDATE*
    Well Blades, my over-reaction leads to nothing. I walk in to work today and I see the store Owner there. I think I'm fucked but he just talks to me about the new cameras they just installed and asks me to help him hold one up. Then he leaves and that's it.

    Another coworker comes up to me later on and tells me that my shift supervisor (she worked yesterday but not today and I didn't work on Tuesday) was talking to her (the other coworker) that she thinks I have a crush on her and that now things will probably be awkward.

    I already planned out what I'll say to her that will end this once and for all and completely mellow everything out.

    ________________________________________

    Here's the story as condensed as I can.

    I started work at a new place as just part of the crew. The shift supervisor is a 23 girl and she is uber lazy. I started crushing on her, she pissed me off when she didn't help us close down after a long rush all night and I started not liking her. I started liking her again. A small period after this time, a coworker is casually talking to me and tells me that the shift supervisor is flirting with me. All the other crew agrees with her. The assistant manager is helping us close up and says that she probably has the hots for me.

    At this point I decide to start flirting and hitting on her. I take it too far (I admit it's my fault but it wasn't anything like hardcore sexual harassment) and I feel bad. I was going to apologize to her the next day but I get in to work (she gets in an hour after me) and the general manager asks me to step into his office and talks to me about how "a sensitive issue has arisen". I didn't know I had offended her that bad. That night I write a long personal letter apologizing and saying I was sorry and that it was unbecoming of me as a coworker and person.

    I leave the note for her the next day, she reads it and I guess we're back to a mutual understanding. Pretty soon all us coworkers start hanging out after work and she goes too. The other night I drank beer at her apartment and it was really cool.

    Well, I definitely fucked things up. We both closed memorial day and she left before me and I didn't know. I texted her "So i guess you didn't want to say goodbye? ;)".

    Wow, I'm a fucking douchebag.

    I texted her later on that I was so sorry and that I was an asshole.

    I feel like shit knowing that she is just disgusted in me and that I basically lied to her that I wouldn't do anything like that again (the letter).

    I'm worried now that I'm going to get fired and I just signed a lease to move in to this house. I have enough money to last rent for 4 months in case I do get fired.

    I'm upset with myself for doing something so stupid and just thinking with my dick and being a dick to someone who just wanted to be friends with me.

    I'm immature and should have never assumed it would work out with a 23 shift supervisor.

    I overanalyze a million different scenarios in my head at once and it drives me insane. I'm constantly worrying about something or overthinking things.

    The worse part is that I used to feel calm and uncaring and indifferent. Then I texted her that stuff and now I'm a nervous wreck again.

    I hope I don't get fired, I don't know what I'll do to myself.
    I hope she hates me because I hate myself.

    I wrote and signed a document (for myself) stating that I will stay away from her for 30 days, no texts, no hanging out alone, no conversations. Just a professional relationship.

    I'm such an asshole.
     
  2. Hahahahaha, man you sound JUST like i used to be. Word for fucking word. Just relax and take it easy; This kind of shit happens to the best of us. I would advise not talking to her at all, unless spoken too. You may feel like a "Coward" or something, or that maybe she still likes you, but just drop it. Your making yourself sound desperate and partially crazy, and thats NO GOOD! Just chill.
     
  3. You should probably change the 30 days part, to indefinitely.

    Hate to say it, but if she filed a complaint at work about you approaching her... then it's best to just let this one go. If you think you can handle just being friends, try to salvage friendship & don't approach her again.

    Best of luck though, hope things don't get too weird at work for you.
     
  4. She didn't file a complaint, just mentioned something off-hand to the general manager. I had already talked with the assistant manager about how I was going to stop being so forward and harsh so the general manager was just like, "Alright, cool".

    I wouldn't blame her for filing a complaint now.
     
  5. A1: OPEN
    A2: FEMALE TO MALE ATTRACTION
    A3: MALE TO FEMALE ATTRACTION

    You're usually pretty good on this board man, but you can't start hitting on a chick until A2 is done, she needs to be attracted in order to accept the advances without getting uncomfortable, even if she has some kind of interest for you, you're gonna see her all the time man, let it build slow. You'll know when she's trying to attract you, the sexual tension will be all over the place.
     
  6. My bad dude. Thought when the manager asked to talk to you, she had filed a complaint or something.

    On a side note... the fact that I lived for such a long time where you do now, makes me really curious as to where all of this is going on at.
     
  7. I got freaked out that she filed a complaint too but she told me about herself, which only makes me feel worse.

    Nashville is simply alive with issues haha
     
  8. dam what di dyou say to her, "nice tits"? and i doubt you will get in more shit if all you did was txt her, but she probably has no interest in you, just let it go.
     
  9. What did you say to her that offended her?
     
  10. to be honest the text you aent her doesnt seem very forward or sexual, it could easily be construed as just a friend thing so play it off like that. you're fine dude dont stress over it
     
  11. Well Blades, read the update but I was simply over-reacting and that's one thing I'm working on right now as a person.

    Thankfully, she doesn't work again until Sunday so I'll be pretty calm and mellow by then.
     
  12. omg your avatar suits the kind of problem you have that peppie la pew had hehe.
     
  13. dawww you realize it just cus you're gettin weird about it main. don't be vulgar or nutthin but like...as long as you're not sendin her shit like "i wanna put it in yo pooper" then you solid. if you got the hots you got the hots, what you supposed to say? hahaha


    like if the bitch aint down with the brown move on, but a letter an shit? fuck that bitch man.

    just be cool.

    ya kno, don't listen to me. you ignore that bitch for a month and if she's into it at all main she'll be on your d fa sho.

    how old are you anyway?
     

  14. lmao... hahaha
     
  15. the whole thing that strikes me as weird about this is the fact that she didn't tell you about any of this at all, that it all came from the boss

    sexual harassment is only when there are repeated advances despite being shot down by that person over and over again, she isn't the one shooting you down it's just the boss that decided to step in and say something based on a comment she made
     
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