Im new to mary, but I think Im falling in love

So I haven't been smoking weed for long, I am 22 years old and my first hit was last September 2013. My friend demonstrated to me and another friend of mine who also had virgin lungs... well we finally took hits, it was good stuff, along with some girly mikes hard lemonades haha.
Our teacher would not let us quit taking hits until we got it correct, haha she was pretty cool. I got the munchies big time and made the WIERDEST thing: cookie dough ice cream(I think), buttery popcorn, peanut butter, random peanuts from some peanut jar, and a few pours of mikes hard lemonade (black cherry I think)..
Yes it was delish.
Anyways, as the year went on, my virgin lungs cherry popper instructor, would offer me to  smoke with her... as many times as we did it, about 6 times, it was still a little confusing. Sometimes I didn't hit it right, I was so damn nervous because she was judging my every move. Whenever people look at me I tend to mess up and sometimes, I couldn't get the lighter lit haha or I forgot about the carb hole.
 
But anyways, I hardly would smoke, unless at a party or with friends. I smoked for about more times 15 times.
 In the summer of 2014, my friend gave me a bunch of "shake". He gave me a bunch! Like enough to stuff a sandwhich ziplock bag and make it hard to seal close it. I thought it was good stuff but I found out what shake was and yeah, but whatever, it still got me high.
HOWEVER. sometimes, I would find myself taking forever to get high, and I had never got high by myself so it was all new to me. it also was awhile since I ever had smoked so I was like, "how do I do this?" because my friend also gave me a pipe that he bought. (I think he was trying to seem cool with it, idky why he would buy weed and a pipe and just give It away but anyways) I was completely lost and decided that smoking weed is not for me, I couldn't get the hang of it and my highs weren't what I had formerly felt, and I just figured ill never get it haha.
 
UNTIL. my boyfriend and I finally got high together (around September 2014). We got high together for first time and when I went home, he told me the problem. I wasn't inhaling it.
I felt so stupid!
SO, one day at home, I smoked. I inhaled and thought to myself, okay I am doing this right, or am I not.
Instantly, I knew I had inhaled it and took the proper toke.
Oh I was so high.
That was only 2 months ago.
Anyways,
now,
I feel like the stupidest person ever for not inhaling. I would get a little high but nothing like now., and it would take a long time.
I was wasting weed! LIKE WHO DOES THAT.
 
NOW.
 
idk how, or idk why, but I love to smoke. I smoke almost every night and it is pure ecstacy.
I love to get soooo fucken blown that I go lay on my couch in the living room, music playing as loud as it can be (bcause it is usually night time and we live in apartments) and I'm just there, sometimes I feel like I'm spinning.
it's not a scary spinning. but, something like being the size of an ant, them some huge ass god placing you inside their hand, while you are laying down, and that huge ass god is walking ever so slowly like a snail, making the slowest of turns, and it causes your body to fight with staying ever so still but at the same time it is moving. it is sort of orgasmic. it makes me feel like I am, having some sort of intimate feelings to where I am close to having a climax.
sometimes, I do climax of disbelief. sometimes, I want to cry. sometimes, it feels so good. it feels as if the god is nothing but a cloud, a cloud that is ever so gentle that it is massaging your body. the cloud is massaging my body, but, since it is a cloud, you can barely feel it. the cloud is trying the most to be as rough as it can, but, like I said, it is a cloud so the only thing it can be is gentle.
oh
there's more.
but,
right now as I am sitting here, pretty stoned. debating if I should eat some ice cream cake,
I am fucken crazed on how I love to get high.
 
it is pretty awesome and I am kinda embarrassed.
and,
I just want to share my thoughts.
please don't judge me or make me feel bad haha.
 
thanks all.
 
<3

 

Well that sucks