I'm in need of some serious advice blades

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by rppd on tr33s, May 8, 2011.

  1. I don't really know how else to say this other than to be straight to the point. I left two days ago on vacation with my girlfriend. Early this morning, she got on a plane to leave, stranding me in Las Vegas. I have a flight booked for my return tomorrow. The problem is that I live with her - we have been dating for over a year and living together for most of that time. Throughout our relationship, she has continued to text an ex boyfriend and other guys (who cheated on her numerous times throughout their relationship), who neither I nor her parents approve of, to say the least.

    I reached my breaking point when I took her phone last night and immediately started getting text messages from another guy, who doesn't know that I exist because she failed to mention that she was already taken. I'm sick of lies, sick of being walked all over, and sick of putting my heart into a relationship where I am neither wanted nor appreciated. It's obvious to me that things will never work out if I am less of a priority than her exes, much less cheating exes.

    I don't know what it is about GC, but this place has become an important part of my life. I would consider many of the good folks on this site to be like family to me, even though we have never met. I also don't know where i'm going with this, but if anyone has any advice for me, or if any Vegas blades want to come meet up and do something, I would be all for it.

    Anyways, thanks for reading, and if you have any advice or insights into my situation please share. Nothing is worse than being thrown away by somebody that you have devoted your life to, but this too shall pass.
     
  2. That's rough, I've dealt with bullshit like you have in a relationship that lasted nearly 2 years. You just gotta be real with yourself and move on with your life.

    Howdy neighbor.
     
  3. Just be blunt and tell her what's on your mind and proceed from there man..
     
  4. I have talked to her many times about it, and she continues to do it, then lie to my face when the messages are right there for the world to see. There's no way to reason with her - she is always right, and her thought process is as irrational as I have ever seen. She has been diagnosed with mental disorders recently as well but hasn't started any medications yet.

    I'm at my wits end. I refuse to continue paying the lease on our place, so should I decide to move out I found that I can be removed from the lease without penalty if i'm in danger of physical harm. That won't be a problem, as I have scars and evidence of the times she has physically harmed me before. I don't know what i'll be doing past that, since I can't leave the city due to my job. Hopefully i'll be able to find a friend or somebody to stay with until I can find a new place to live, if that's what it comes down to.
     

  5. That's good you're seriously considering the possibility that it won't work and have some direction on what you're going to do. I would give it one last serious try to confront/resolve the problem and if it doesn't work just move on. Good luck man.
     
  6. Irrational people can be very dangerous especially in a relationship. It's not healthy for you to stress yourself over her. You've got millions of other candidates. You'll find someone.
     
  7. So she's a liar, and crazy? ..
    Friend I suggest you just stop putting so much into a sinking ship. Get out of the lease by any means and find a new place.

    Good luck.


    Edit:

    And it could always be worse, like her getting pregnant.
     
  8. I'm doing everything within my power to do just that. I have no way to move out immediately when I return, so i'll most likely have to see her at some point. I'll certainly be finding new living arrangements, though...hopefully with some friends temporarily until I can figure out the details.

    It could ALWAYS be worse, and i'm thankful that it happened now rather than further down the road, but this couldn't have come at a worse time. All of my money has been paid (to her) for this trip, except for about $400. She won't be seeing any of that. Needless to say, i'm in retaliation mode right now...I don't know if payback is smart or not, but there are plenty of ways I can have my revenge and derail her entire life and career, if I so choose.

    Thanks for the help thus far guys.
     
  9. I wouldn't necessarily encourage revenge of any sort. Just know that some day, maybe many decades from now, she'll reflect on everyone she's fucked over and deep inside that cluttered, black, insatiable heart, she'll feel remorse, and shortly thereafter die alone in her own filth.

    I hope this helped.
     
  10. The saying "you don't know what you've got until its gone" is true in so many ways, people take everything they have for granted until they realize its no longer there, and will do anything in their power to get it back. We are fickle and complex beings we are, and we don't always know why we act the way we do, even if the answer is obvious.

    What I got out of what you told me was that your girlfriend is not only self conscious, but selfish. She can't grasp her current life from a realistic standpoint, because she's too focused on what she doesn't have. Its not your fault that she's not able to see whats right in front of her, but her inability to cope with reality. Sometimes its strictly out of fear. We are so afraid of messing up, ruining something, or making mistakes that make our egos feel crestfallen, that we do anything we can to prevent dealing with the present; if you never deal with it, it just stays the same right? Not wanting to deal with something is one thing, but not accepting change is another. Change is an inevitable part of life, and without it, existence would be meaningless.

    Sometimes though, its the relationship itself, even when either person has done nothing wrong. Sometimes for one person, the relationship just doesn't click. Something feels wrong, out of place, and you feel as if the ability to love the other person or feel anything at all is impossible. I had this one girlfriend a few years back. She was beautiful, and enamored with me, and no matter what I did or how hard I tried, i just couldn't love her, and I never knew why. She could be mirroring her past relationships through her current one, in an attempt to make it seem more real; since her exes have constantly cheated on her in the past, she became accustomed to relationships being a lie. When it was suddenly perfect, she just couldn't handle it, even if everything was right, and ruined the relationship subconsciously as an attempt to preserve the idea of her reality.

    I could be completely off key with the current situation (considering there are probably many more elements to factor in), but regardless of the actual cause for this issue in your relationship, you need to make the honest attempt to talk to her about it.

    I know its easier to forget. To pretend like it didn't happen and just break up with her and move on. Doing this though, defeats the entire purpose of a relationship altogether, which is to learn about human behavior and the ability to connect with someone on a similar emotional level. If you never ask her and find out what really went wrong, then you'll have to live your whole life with your perspective based assumption of what actually happened. Maybe she feels bad about the entire situation, and she's too embarrassed by her actions to apologize, or is allowing her ego to think for her in another attempt to prove her correctness. Trust me, you want to know. Never leave this world with unfinished business or skewed emotions about past hardships, because they exist as the purpose for why we're here in the first place.
     
  11. Well guys, here I go. Been up for over 40 hours straight...and in that time I have eaten half of a burger and half a side of french fries. Just can't eat any more than that. I'll be getting up at 3am to catch my shuttle and flight home. From there, it's anybody's guess as to what will happen...still in shock from all of this. So much for the money I spent booking this trip...all gone.

    I'll keep you guys posted as to what happens with the girl and I - it won't be any making up, that I do know. For now, i'm going to do my best to catch some sleep in the few hours I have left. Goodnight blades and bladies.
     
  12. drop her on her ass. If she is a negative impact on your life, why put up with her?



    Seriously man, this is an 18 yr old talking to someone most likely older and more mature, but its as simple as that.


    WHY be with someone, if they dont bring you happiness? Its as simple as that man.
     
  13. Why put up with someone who doesn't care about you? (Her cheating/lieing = not caring).

    Dump her.
     
  14. Well, I made it back home finally. Talk about a vacation from hell:(

    She's not going to be in my life any longer, that's for sure. The only thing left to do is figure out the living situation...both of our names are on the lease, but when we signed it was agreed that if something were to happen, she would leave and not me. Since then, she has decided that it's her place. Worst case scenario, if she doesn't want to leave, I can always show proof of the shit that has gone down and get out of the lease without being obligated to pay any more. I'll keep you guys updated as to what happens from here on out.
     
  15. You be you. I moved from michigan to florida with a woman i loved. she got shady and it killed me...but leaving her was the best thing i ever did. i would never have the life, wife and kids i have now. and that woman has been calling me ever since trying to get back what we had. the fact is, she wasn't wrth it!!! Look onto bigger and better things my friend...Keep your head up!!!
     
  16. goin to bbq. will elaborate later. good luck!!
     
  17. Time heals everything brother. Don't do anything stupid.
     
  18. Never, man. Been through the same kind of shit in the past with many other girls, and came out a stronger and better person.

    On another note...I have been searching for apartments and rooms for rent for the past few hours. I have already found something, and i'll be meeting at 10am tomorrow to go check out a potential new place. Thanks for the encouragement guys!
     
  19. #19 ScottBTmaster, May 9, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: May 9, 2011
    If she didnt stop talking to exes and shit after talking with you, then dump her dude, for real, I've been through all kinds of intense relationships back in my day, no point lookin like a bitch, son..



    Listen to Cube, just heed these words, young apprentice
    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STtwzLVAa1s]YouTube - NWA - I Ain't Tha One[/ame]
     
  20. Sounds like she has made her choice of where her priorites are....lying about shit like that is a deal breaker when youre in a committed relationship...ever really.

    You are doing the right thing....and dont look back...she will get hers in the end.....and that means not having you. ;)
     

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