My Puritanical Proposition In this land full of sound and reason, a treacherous injustice has been rallying up the defense of our great nation. These demon snakes slide through the cracks of our Constitution, disembowel our morals of great unity, and corrupt our economy. The great American nation has had many trials and errors, but none such error as terrible as that of the illegal immigrant. Small infractions such as the Wet-Foot Dry-Foot policy enable these hellions to continue producing in our great country, steal hardworking American jobs, and the allowance of granting these brutes the right to speak their alien language. In the depths of my humbleness, I am professing to you a thought full of sound mind, in order for us to free ourselves of these Manticore's. Many of these evil's cross into our border by means of schooner. It is in our great interest to unleash our naval troops into the Ocean's surrounding our land, where they will patrol endlessly. If it so happens that one of these tadpoles come floating towards land, the naval troops would have the ability to garrote this inconvenience, where their body will sink like a concrete cylinder into the depths below. This free's us not only from these devil's running rampid through the heart of our homes, but also from CO2 being released, which our fine scientists have discovered. So after a well formulated plan I have brought forth a remedy to protect our great Mother from it's torturers, but these demons do not only come from the sea, they crawl through the sand pits of our neighboring country. Once the ghouls from the godforsaken island to the southeast of us have perished, we will have the resources to stockpile our southern border with land mines. These land mines will be self sufficient, of significant reason and at the inconvenience of nobody. Thousands of creatures from the south will attempt to infiltrate our illusory wall, but these great claps from Him will root out these evils. Some have questioned the morality of my motives, but for an example I will explain the "holyness" behind my ways. Our illusory wall is a great wall indeed, and it's location is gloriously barren, windy, and sandy, all which we will use to our advantage. These demons demonstrate absolutely no intelligence when they show an understanding of the knowledge that was previously stated above, and continue to relinquish life. After acumen of all of this, we should have no guilt with God, seeing as we are told by Him to conquer the beasts that dwell. If we do not follow the will of God, ourselves may face a great persecution. Lastly, we will over-throw their government and have an alignment with our surrounding borders, and it will be so just that Europe will stand in awe. We will instill these damned souls with our knowledge, which is inferior to none. After we have complete submission from our predecessors, it will encourage our influence to be unconditional, to all who oppose will face the fruit of our loins. Furthermore, our great and beautiful country will rid the filth from our uncontrollable bladder and apply our absolute sciences onto our captives. Soon, they will be heard of no more. I have an un-biased opinion on these matters, for I haven't intermixed with any rascals. The betterment of this glorious country is all that I have in mind. We have to rid the leech that sucks our Mother's beautiful vein, and those who call in question my adequacy are heretics. If we do not act now, we will be condemning God, ourselves, and the Land of the Free. So act with me now! Destroy these unlawful goblins who are raping our mothers, setting fire to our homes, and spoiling our glorious mud holes! Be an American.
Shit, son, you have some serious issues. There is no "holiness" behind your ways; you're just using the Bible as an excuse for your racism.
Joe were you dressed in a ghost costume when they were handing out perspective in Sociology 101? ...change your name, you're not friendly at all!!!!
No, but I was writing a satire for literature, and I chose Illegal Immigration as my topic. Was choosing to see what the effect of all of you would be, so hopefully it will be judged as that, a satire. Thanks.
Maybe next time, take a moment to say you're not serious, genius. You were just looking for an excuse to abuse the rep system, weren't you?
I'm not saying I don't believe you but that was a clever way to make an asshole appear righteous in front of a crowd of portrayed assholes.
No, maybe you should read a Modest Proposal. I guess John Swift must be a sarcastic "genius" too, huh? With a hundren and sixty I.Q. and all...
satire - the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc. jesus christ. i thought it was good, op.
if you were aiming for satire, you missed by a good measure or two. To me, what you wrote just stinks of racists bile filled with false metaphors and analogies and has tried to been spruced up with junk imagery and bad syntax. In all essence, you've tried to write something with substance but along the way you forgot that you don't really have the skill to pull it off and instead shoot yourself in the foot by not being able to string along a single coherent idea. Instead you try to spruce it up with a bunch of metaphoric pulp that carries no meaning what so ever. You make allusions to things that shouldn't be alluded to, you make metaphors out of things that don't fit, and most importantly, there isn't a single sign in this whole piece that points towards anything satirical. You should rework this before you turn it in or else you are going to piss off many many people.
I understand where you are coming from Foop, but I do believe I have followed the guidelines to writing a satirical essay. It has many elements from A Modest Proposal, which was somewhat the model of the topic, but had alot of writing that is included in Voltaire's Candide. Hopefully you'll understand where I AM coming from if you have knowledge on his writings... thanks!
Well that's the thing, you have taken their style of satirical writing which fit just fine in their respective centuries... but it does not work when talking about a current issue, and you most certainly overdo that kind of writing style in this piece with your clusterfuck style metaphors and analagies.
In Candide, they have many positives and negatives added together in a sentence which I have taken to my advantage. Also, dropping in a very "strong" word with a positive sentence will shake the entire aura of the paper. Anyway, thanks for your thought.
You ask for peoples opinions...And then act like a holier-than-thou fuck, completely and blatently disregarding everything they say. And then try and play coy and innocent by placing a smiley face at the end of your posts...
I would say that you talk more condescendingly than I have. I was just further explaining the writing styles of Voltaire in Candide... my bad that it rubbed off on you the wrong way. Also, you called me out on placing a smiley face at the end of my post... I do that in 95% of my posts, just search me if you'd like. I hope you don't get all riled up snooks...