Ignorant Parent Quotes.

Haha I love it...my mom has used the kills brain cells one before...and everytime she says it, I counter with telling her how flawed the study that "proved" that was

 

my mom once told me it would stunt my growth and im the tallest in the family

 

so glad i have chill parents. damn

 

IT'S THE FUCKING GATEWAY DRUG!!!!

 

Me "I'm not addicted to it, i just like doing it"
Stepdad(my real dad smokes weed with me, so he doesnt say anything) "Obviously youre already addicted since you keep doing it"

Mom "When youre in my house you follow my rules, once you turn 18 and move out idc what u do"

Mom(probably two months after above quote) "Why do you have to smoke inside the house?? atleast go outside"

*after she catches me smoking outside* Mom "I told you to stop smoking!!!"
Me "But you said i can do it outside??"
Mom "No i didnt!! dont put words in my mouth"

then of course theres the other "youll do bad in school, youll be retarded, youll lose all ambition" antiweed bullshit that never came true.

 

"It will ruin your life if you get caught by someone other than us."
I guess that's pretty true, but that's the only thing they have against it and why they don't want me doing it.
"Smoking weed is bad for you."
I smoke mostly through water, the occasional joint. Plus it is prescribed to some patients. Much better for you than the ibuprofen that I use for pain.
That's all I can think about right now.

 

Start drinking and smoking cigarettes.

Gain a couple 40 or 60 lbs.

Shit, develop a pill addiction too.

Start bombing tests and blowing off work left and right.

Also, start acting stupid, react slower, stumble on word whens talking, just dont go full retard, never go full retard.

Then when your parents are asking whats wrong, you tell em to mind there own business.

Sometime down the line, you turn everything around. A full 180.

Now this will be hard to do of course, but when you start turning everything around, start smoking again.

Say MJ has helped you through everything that just happened.

You are doing good in school/work again.

You stopped drinking and smoking cigs.

You lost all your gained weight.

You kicked your pill addiction.

And you arent stupid anymore.

And you can tell em, its all because of Mary Jane.

Its a fool proof idea, just dont be a fool.

 

"Smoking this will make you a loser."-thanks mom.
"Smoking this is worse than cigs."

 

Mom: "It's illegal"
Me: "Not if I have a card"
Mom: "Well the federal agents can still come after you and lock you up"
Me: "You really think I'm going to be targeted for being one of the thousands of people that go into a dispensary and buys weed?"
Mom: "I will tip them off if you really think you can evade this nations laws."



Like what the actual fuck. Cunts will be cunts.

 

i guess i lucked out. when i got caught, i had a job and had been accepted to college so my dad's lecture could be summed up as "don't get caught". my mom was a little more dramatic, my parents are from Russia, and aren't familiar with the weed scene so my mom got all frantic and said shit like "do you know who sells this stuff? gangs do! you shouldn't be doing business with gangs mikhail, i don't want those people to hurt you"

it was pretty funny looking back on it

 

You're funding terrorists-Aunt M.
youre going to end up jumping off a gridge when high- Cousin
Its for losers- mom

 

When I was 19 at college my dad told me over the phone if he ever found out I smoked weed and wasn't a medical patient he would disown me.

 

That sucks dude. I'm tempted to go in and try to get a green card. but I don't know if my hip problems would qualify me for one and I don't want to waste 100 bucks and not get the damned card.

Also, not my parent but my friends dad said "If they legalize pot they may as well legalize murder and all the other drugs under the sun"

 

I tried to explain that to them but they wouldn't listen, so I "quit" as well. I also "sold" my bong to a "friend." Man do I love that bong