If you could sign a petition to ban dihydrogen monoxide

you can't tell me there wasn't some crotchety pedophilic exec at island records who didn't base bieber's record deal on how well he could slobber a knob

and besides i'm pretty sure he's a girl anyways

 

Not true. Studies have show that doing things like this significantly lowers confidence in male animals.

 

No way, no one beats him in the game of fellatio.