If I wasn't banging this girl...

Discussion in 'General' started by NoSecrets913, Aug 2, 2011.

  1. I'd go Tucker Max on her. I swear to god, she's retarded. (If you dont know who tucker max is, look him up. You'll get it)

    So im talking to somebody about my battery wires, and how Car Toys fucked them up. Basically, they split the cable in half length wise some how for about half the cable. Its missing the insulation on one side. Well, all they did was wrapped it loosely in tape and now its corroded as shit and I have to replace the whole fucking thing. So I go to facebook to bitch cause I'm bored.

    Me: So apparently when car toys worked on my truck, they split the main wire from my battery. Their fix? Wrap it loosely in tape. Dumbasses.
    Her: Perfect Fix.... =)
    Me: Not exactly.
    Her: Well if you do it tightly you might sufficate the wires...


    I swear, I might go to jail. I think I might actually be banging a retard.
  2. Derpppp
  3. She must be hot
  4. You should explain to her why thats not true. Try educating a little more. Bet she isnt going around calling you a retard to random peeps.
  5. Thank you for telling us your banging a retard. We're all jealous that you get retard pussy.
  6. That's adorable. You two make a good couple.
  7. Reminds me of some bitch my girlfriend knows... she posts borderline retarded stuff on facebook all the time. Like, her birthday was during the anniversary of one of the three days of Gettysburg, and she posted

    "I am so grateful to be born in the middle of this historic war, the War of Gettysburg"

  8. How do you know she was being serious?

    How do you know she wasn't baked when she posted that?

    My friend posted something that basically called him a strong independent woman. After chewing him out he admitted his fuck up and we moved on. Being all pissy because the girl you are banging posted something you find stupid is pointless.
  9. She's bustin your balls. Chill out.

    and good to know your banging her. Why you would inform us of that is beyond me, though.
  10. No, trust me. She isn't joking. At first we were basically just fuck buddies, didn't really talk much otherwise. Straight up no emotional attachment. But yeah, I'm calling it off after this. The last 3 days has been this idiotic nonsense.... I swear, she's like one of those closet case airheads that you see in every movie. She told me I have to stop smoking cause "weed makes you dumb. It like, has stuff in it. there have been studies!" and then she won't believe anything else :facepalm:
  11. Nobody cares.

  12. And no, she doesnt exactly. But I just brought this stuff up to her in a VERY polite way (IE; "Well, actually, not exactly. You see, wires can't suffucate...") and she got super pissed. She is a spoiled bitch who hates being wrong.

    So she shows me this huge rant she wrote but never sent about my nose ring.

    Number of time she called me a:

    Also told me I was going to hell for it.
    She apparently has issues.
  13. Nope, sounds like a normal woman to me.
  14. i convinced my girl that some random song on the radio was about horses and she completely bought it.
  15. Well alright then. Fuck that bitch.
  16. You should definitely Tucker Max that ho by the way. Tucker Max Tucker Maxes every girl he's banging, why does that have to play into it? :p

    +rep for tucker max, I was reading him and maddox before their books, back when they were good (inb4 hipster kitties)
  17. i went to psychology class this morning, and my teacger told us a true story and showed us a news article of something that reminded me of thaat.

    this girl had a dissociative personality disease, so basically she had 46 different personalities. (46 is crazy) anyways, she is obviously considered mentally ill by legal standards, making it illegal to have sex with her.

    well there was this guy who knew she had this personality disorder, and he also knew some of her personalities were very sexual. when one of those personalities came out he slept with her and went to jail.

    another story he told was this girl that was so terrified of sex that she would faint when she heard anything refering to sex. a guy that lived in her apartment complex heard of this and waited for her to go to the laundry room. then he went in and repeatedly said sex until she fainted. he then raped her.
    when she was asked to testify in court she fainted 3 times from the thought of sex

    psychology is funny
  18. Is she aware of the term "Donkey Punch"?

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