I'm 20. Over the two decades I've lived I've been a nerd, a prep, a punk, a skater, a hipster, a musician, an artist, a writer, and now a pothead. (None of these are self proclaimed, these are all labels I've been given.) Now when it comes to labels, I don't give a fuck. I've always done my best to just do what I wanted and be who I wanted. My problem is that for awhile now I just haven't known who I was. I feel like I've been through so many phases and just kept becoming more and more that now I really don't know who I am. I don't know what I want to do. But I feel like that is life. I always pictured there being a moment where you were all of a sudden an adult and you realized who you are and what you wanted. But I think I'm beginning to realize that adults are just big kids, and that very few people ever know themselves. While I don't think people necessarily change, I think at times priorities get switched. Does anyone have any advice? Is there some secret to life I'm missing out on? Does anyone have the same problem? Anyone agree? I just want to be happy, and be able to know who I am. But does anyone know who they are?
I will suggest meditation and read up on Buddhism and keep an opened mind (not trying to push this on anyone) but it focuses more on your inner self just some good reading
Usually factors in the environmental factors such as culture, political views, family, religious beliefs, field of career, how one operates their thoughts (emotion or thinking), along with a couple others shapes their identity. For that being said, I don't necessarily have a identity of my own since I'm multi-faceted and also free myself from quickly adhering to certain views that make one who they are, this probably has to do with being a Enneagram type 9.
That's why I feel past generations are somewhat superior to us. They didn't have cars, internet or easy lives, but they definitely had themselves and if they were lucky partners/family and true love.
People can't be summed up in labels, you're not going through an identity crisis you just have a lot of different interests. It's normal, as you get older you encounter new things that you like, some you never thought you would and other things you drop of forget because you realize it doesn't fit who you are now. I have interests that people would think contradict each other. In terms of growing up, it doesnt really happen all at one time and you just turn into an adult. It's a process, a cycle, everything has a cycle and you are in the transition period of young adult to a just an adult. There is no clean definition of an adult, really, except that they are over 21, and even then that isn't a very good starting point to grow up for some people.
I am going to be 40 in a couple months.... and still don't know what i want to be when i grow up.....
I strongly suggest just living, gaining as many life experiences as possible and make many friends. You are so very young at this moment, so you shouldn't expect to have things completely sorted out. Beside you've got people that choose to change their occupations late in life so you never know what hand the future will deal you.
The fact that you even consider these labels as an even temporary part of you is your first problem. I've done the same thing man. I change every year it seems like. People always looking at me funny like, when did you all the sudden start listening to Mean Jeans and shaving a mohawk in your head? Idk, I couldn't tell you either. It just happens. I'm just an individual human walking through everyday life and picking up what I do and don't like. If it happens to lead one way or the other, I'm still that same person who's done all those things in the past. That's who I am. There is no one else on earth more like you than you. I'm 22, I used to wake up everyday with this identity crisis. I think you're more worried about projecting an idea of who you are than actually just living it and not caring. Life strange like that. Just let it happen dude.
If you dont know who you are, nobody does. I dont even get that statement really, of course you know who you are at any moment in time. You just dont know what you want the future to look like. Stop fucking worrying about it. Honestly. The future hangs over us all with infinite potential that we can only ever capture a fraction of. go latch on to whatever future makes you happy and you've won
The most important question is, Are you comfortable with you? If you like the way you are don't worry about it. If you don't, then start towards a new direction. Use baby steps and small goals to get to the place you want to be.
Dude just think of yourself one of the most interesting persons in the world lol. You have many interests put into one nothing wrong with that
Honestly? Noone ever truly knows. You change everyday based on new experiences thoughts and life. don't worry about nailing it down to one thing man just be you! You don't need a label or an idea to define you, you are unique and yourself nothing else.
You are 20. No one knows just who the fuck they are at 20, and you seem to be having your quarter-life crisis a bit ahead of schedule. If you play your cards right, you will continue to surprise yourself with new facets of your psyche until the day you die.