Hello, my friends. This is my first post here and thank anyone who reads this in advance! I need help. I have a background of my problem down below, if you would be so kind as to read or skim it, it would be greatly appreciated. When I am high, I constantly observe and interrogate of the world. I question practically everything, from how people act to how chemical reactions work. I have fallen in love with my ability to think of incredible situations for life, the universe and everything. A few of the previous novels that I have began (never finished) were inspired by the times I was high. I would think if a stupifying situation and write it down! Alas, and I say it as a sigh, the plant was not meant for my mind. I've had my share of good times and yet I have also my line of bads. Many people wouldn't think of marijuana as a schizophrenic type of drug, but in a select few, it can bring out the worst. I have had one incredibly horrific experience where I thought my parents were going to interrogate me; tell me that they knew I was high and that they would arrest the person I was getting it from. This was a while ago, mind you, but it still puzzles me to this day. I have no idea why I thought of a possibly harmless situation that could have been disarmed as a horrid next-to-death experiance. I texted my friend, saying to never let my smoke again, that my parents were going to interogate me, that I had to get out of there... I must have sounded borderline schizophrenic. Now its different. Not as bad as before, but I still can't enjoy it. I am not good in a social setting while high, not at all. I become insecure. Let me emphisize this, VERY insecure. I think that when I talk, I sound retarded. That when I walk, I look like an idiot. I think that Im making people incredibly angry when I am talking to them, like I'm being a complete and total asshole, yet I don't mean to. This is self centered, though. Its all about me, never about other people. I can't go two seconds without thinking of how I am affected. How can I end this senseless strain of paranoia? If anyone can help or has a similar problem, please, let me know! If you have any tips that help, email me at halobman@gmail.com, and again, thank you to whoever reads this.
Fuck off. I feel you OP. Maybe trying different strains and discovering which is right for you. I notice that different strains have different effects on me. I have experienced some that have made me uncomfortably paranoid and others that make me feel overconfident. But also, maybe the herb just isn't right for you and you just gotta embrace that fact and move on. It's not for everyone. Hope that helped.
I also believe that maybe you should talk to a therapist. You sound VERY insecure, not trying to sound mean.
You drink a lot of caffeine? For me this really fucked my shit up and turned my weed highs into crazy cartoony speedy trips where everyone was against me and i explored the deep scary depths of my own insecure mind but now i stopped drinking coffee and im fine.
I had this exact problem dude, you NEED to implement more control into your life or risk making fucking terrible decisions and such.. Things you can do to help motivate you include keeping your work area at work clean, your room clean and just take care of your shit, it's hard as fuck to get shit done when your life is an absolute mess, mainly due in part to marijuana.
I do not drink coffee but perhaps it is something different? I will see. Thank you, sir, means a lot.
The reason you question everything is part of paranoia, which didn't seem to make you panic. When you feel insecure that's because when smoking, you get paranoid which makes you overthink situations like "Was I being a dick?" or "Am i walking normal?" Happens to me everytime i smoke and i enjoy it because it makes me laugh. Don't panic and try to enjoy the setting. Try smoking in a calm environment possibly alone or with close friend(s). Be somewhere safe with a chill and happy environment where you know you can just kick back and forget about all your problems. Hope this helped. I will hope you carry on smoking because it is a such a wonderful plant; most poeple feel the same effect when high but some "take it in" differently and seem to panic. Just chill out and dont over-smoke, you can green-out and that would make you hate smoking. But this happens after MANY bowls/joints have been smoked.