i would like some advice

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by kennyken, Aug 27, 2010.

  1. hi I checked out the stash jar part of this forum a couple times a year ago or so then found this part of the forum, i thought i would get some opinions.

    im 20 and my now ex girl is 18. Until about a week ago we have been spending as much time as possible with eachother for 3 and a half years. she out of the blue text me and told me she wanted to talk so i met up with her as soon as i could. she started crying and told me she wanted a break because she has never experienced anything besides her and I. this concept had been talked about many times throughout the years but is still not easy. we talked a week later and it went as well as it could, we said we would miss eachother and even shared a laugh just how we had always done.

    she is a great girl and i can count the number of fights we had on one had. she says she's not falling out of love and can see her and i together in the future and that this is the hardest thing she has had to do. we also agreed that the love and respect that we had for eachother seemed like it was really something special. we are/were bestfriends and we told eachother that all the time. she is about to start university but she will be commuting and just as close as she has always been.

    what do you all think?
  2. She's looking out to go and experience the world, and other men. Yes, it will be hard for you to come to terms with this, but you preventing her from exploring, will only make her want it more. You're going to have to let her go, and if she doesn't find anyone...better, than the chances are high that she'll come back to you.
  3. #3 kennyken, Aug 27, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 27, 2010
    good straight forward advice.

    it's not like i haven't struggled with the same issue i just couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. It's my chance to see what is out there too, i just have a hard time convincing myself that i'll find anything more than some fun and some life lessons, that in the end will only add up to me wanting her back. If i know her she is feeling the same thing and we will be able to have a conversation about it in time.
  4. Sorry to be blunt, and if I were to put myself in your position, reading that advice would hurt bad, because I know it's really not what you want to hear. But advice is something we seek when we already know the answer, we just don't want to accept it. It's the harsh reality, but you're going to have to let it go. If she is all you know, maybe you should go and explore too. I know right now you think you can't find anyone who could match up to her, but there is another girl who you will 'click' with, who is as attractive as her, if not more. Maybe down the line, if you two are unsatisfied with what you come across, your paths can join once again, but until then you should go your seperate ways, but it sounds like you have something special that will live forever between you, and you will never lose her in that way. Just be thankful for the times you've had, the times that may come, and that you'll always be the special someone in her life.

    I'm terribly sorry for your situation bro, and my heart bleeds for ya. But you'll get through it.
  5. thanks. and it certainly doesn't feel good and it has been a huge fear of mine that this would happen, she will move on and i will have her on my mind the rest of my life. but i've had a couple weeks now where i've had to tell myself i need to accept this.

  6. Everyone who has been through what you are, losing someone who they thought they'd spend the rest of their life with, goes through the stage of thinking that they'll live the rest of their life with them on their mind. Of course, they were special to you, and they will always have a special place in your heart. But honestly, very few people will stay in that stage, eventually, you will move on, there are other people out there, and you will meet someone. Time is the greatest healer, keep yourself busy, put yourself other, take comfort in your friends.

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