One time i was working at this group home for handicapped individuals. I am an avid chewer, i chew kodiak longcut smokeless tobacco. So I put my cup down to go take a piss, i come back one of the clients is holding the cup , has brown juice on his chin and is smiling at me. I was like oh shit, this dude dont know what he just drank. i gave him water and cookies and he never threw up. amazing. I was at a party chewing one time and i was spitting into a beer can...yup u know it some drunk fuck mistaked it for his beer and took a sip, yeah he did puke though
Surprised no one mentioned not checking for toilet paper when they take a shit... That... happened to me last week. I ended up having to take a shower despite showering a few hours earlier.
A couple months ago I was chilling at my friend's house, pretty blazed. He was in the shower and i was thirsty as hell so I go to his fridge and pull out a bottle of milk. As i'm drinking it, i think it tastes kind of weird but figure its just because I'm high and have the taste of smoke in my mouth. About halfway through the bottle, i take a drink and a huge chunk goes down my throat. That shit was in the fridge for over a month. I felt like I was about to puke for the next hour just from the thought of what I drank, then for a few hours my stomach felt like it was full of bricks. Not a fun experience
I was outside eating a choc ice once like a magnum or something and it was late and i had been drinking. So i look down and see i've dropped some chocolate unto my top so i scope it up and shovel it in only to discover it is actually a nice wet slug... which i had just bitten in to. That was pretty gross tbh.
Yea that sounds dilectible!... Don't mean to get off topic, just wanted to say nice name brah! hahaha
ok so one time i went over to my homie's pad..and this was when i was in my 40's days and after classes, i would go to his pad and blaze and just down a forty or maybe 2 and just get fucked and roam around...so they were in a box and he's like DRINK ITTT cause we just got there and i downed 'em all...ended up choking on 2 cig butts...i hate grits another time.. ok so i went to europe when i was small with my mom and my bro and sis.. first time anywhere out of US..we went to italy and england..great time except for me.. everyone was fine..but me i had the mad shits.. so a few years ago italy won the world cup..i was in florence (this is just 1 story out of like 7 bad shit stories) through the window being closed and the door of the room being closed and the bathroom being closed and listenin to music while having the shits, i can hear GOAAAAALLLLL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and it was awesomeness.. so i thought fuck man fuck this shit (literaly) im gunna dip and PARTYYY...ony to find out there was 1 or 2 more squares of toilet paper..and i had the runs. o man that was gnuts. but in the end i went out and it was fucking epic till my sister was trippin nuts and we had to go inside ok so recently i went to INDIA..it was fuckin epic i loved it, out of the whole month i was there, i did whatever i wanted..except blazed cause my dad is a nazi about mary jane. but i ate those sidestreet vendors where if a cop shows up they pack their shit and DIIIPP hahaha ok so i was there for a month.. the LAST few days i was there before i was comin back to cali.. i had MAD runs..like o fuck i would feel like i passed the fuck out on the john..well it was india so over a fuckin hole (my dad woudl ALWAYS coincidentaly need to take a shit while i needed to.. think that bastard wanted to show me the reals of india or someshit..it was whack and shady) so if uve ever been to japan or india or anywhere in europe with a BIDAY, that's water jet that you aim at your bungholious and just spray and pray pretty much...but this house we (my family) hasn't been in for over 35years..so the biday was not working..oh fuck. any toilet paper? "ARE you crazy? this isn't america hahahahahahah" bastards.. so you know what they gave me? a small as cup and was like good luck. well fuck me so ok after takin the biggest deuce of my life.. i realiezed water didn't work in this bathroom... and to top it off i was only at this house as a "o look what i had to live in before comin to india and before goin to college/university" you guys are probs sayin ey bro just wait...na dudes i couldn't wait.. like dam i couldn't eveen stand strand or sit.. ok im goin off topic lol...so yea in short water didn't work.. no biday, there was a cup and no tp..just my hand...yea it was gross..never washed my hand that much in my life. now i take ATLEAST few rolls of tp if i go adventuring or whatever.. cause u never know when there's a fucker you need to tp hahaha
One time I was makin some (or so I thought) microwaveable breaded chicken, which we had been getting for years. Turns out this time my mom got the uncooked kind that you have to cook in the oven and the two bags look exactly the same. So anyway I made it like I normally would and took a bite and it was all rubbery and nasty, but I was blazed and eating in the dark and I wanted this chicken so fuckin bad I just kept eating. Only after finishing the first one did I realize it was mostly raw. That's hands down the worst my stomach has ever felt.