So a couple days ago, I posted a thread about how I finally found a girl kinda deal. Turns out, she was basically leading me on and bullshit like that. Apparently, she found out that some guy is gonna ask her out and she told me she's gonna say yes. And that she was "sorry and doesn't want to seem like a game playing bitch." Umm...a little too late right? Sigh. I'm really more sad about this than angry though. Like instead of . I mean it's not her fault that some guy comes by that she feels has more to offer her than me. I just...wish I could have been that guy. It's funny cause like...the night that I posted my previous thread, I was so high and just so happy. And I thought to myself, "This can't be fucking real. It has to be a dream. It's just too perfect." And fucking hell, I was right. I mean here was a chick that's chill, blazes, and rolls. All I wanted. But just like that...it's gone. And she still wants to keep it "as friends" and not awkward. Well tonight I had the same shift as her. And as hard as I tried to act normal and like nothing happened minus the whole connection thing we had going, it still hurt down inside. Damn. But fortunately, I don't think it'll be that bad for me. The old me would have been depressed as fuck and maybe not even able to work with her again. But the new me....the current me...the me after E...will be find. The fact that Nocturnal Wonderland, this huge massive rave in downtown LA, is coming up in a lil less than a week...makes it so that like...nothing else matters. For those who have never experienced the wonders of E, it's hard to explain. A lot of my whole mindset is changed. Hell, make that my entire life. My life is just overall more happy now. I'm a happier person. And I haven't touched E since my first time at Tiesto about 5 weeks ago. Knowing that I've kept my promise to myself of not doing it until next Saturday, despite the fact that I LOVE and CRAVE it so much...it feels really good. So...as one of my friends said to me, "It's her loss." It's hard to feel that way inside, especially since I feel like the one losing here. But in the end...I have my second rave coming up soon. And I guess...I'll be hoping...that I can run into a chill girl there. But if not...well...I doubt it will have any effect on the complete ecstasy I will be feeling that night. Well, that's the end of my half depressed rant half E appreciation post. For those who read entire thing, thanks. For those who didn't bother finishing cause it's too long...don't sweat...I do that shit a lot too. Buffet out.