I Was Almost Killed By a Fly

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by TLF1088, Aug 23, 2009.

  1. So, after lunch I decide to go outside and smoke some really good haze I had just picked up. I'm sitting outside on my patio and it's terribly hot out today. I take my shirt off and put it on the coffee table in front of my, and stat smoking from my bong. After about ten minutes I noticed a large fly was sitting on my shirt. I reach over and I shake my shirt to get him off. He then lands on my arm. So I shake my arm. Then, he starts going suicidal, and ramming into me. He slams into my face, my left arm, my chest, my right arm, my face again. So now I jump up, bong in one hand, lighter in the other flapping my arms and trying to get this fly away from me. I was barefoot and my brick patio had been baking in the sun all day, so I'm also hopping around so my feet don't burn. Then I step on a light still lit cigarette I had recently tossed on the ground, lose my balance and stumble back. Luckily I just barely manage to steady myself. Had I fallen back, I would have smashed right through my glass top coffee table and probably have bleed to dead.
  2. fuckin flys are a nuisance. was it a horsefly, those basterds fuckin are crazy.
  3. It was one of those africanized flys, youd better call an extermanator:p
  4. sounds like you've had an eventful day :D

    flies are little bastards
  5. Holy shit dude samething for me. Except it was jellyfish. and they couldnt fly.
  6. Sounds scary :(
  7. I too have this fear.
  8. Damn thats why i bitch slap flies outta my face
  9. ^^^fuck yeah wat this guys says man!!! bitch slap the shit o0uta a fucking fly. hahah oh shit just fuckin WAOP and then it dies. holy shit. wat
  10. shit dude that sucks! fuck flies man.. when theres a fly near me i go a little crazy. i wait for it to land while sayin "yeah you little fucker your gonna be wishing you never saw me" and then when it lands i throw something at it! it never fails!!!!
  11. That was....AWESOME
    Im blazed and that made me laugh for a good minute just reading this...wish i coulda seen it thohahahaha
  12. yea dude like i throw nametags at it. and like the sharp end hits it. and im all:hello::rolleyes::smoking::smoking::smoking::smoking::smoking::smoking::smoking::smoking::smoking::smoking::smoking:
  13. Yo that was a great read lol, flys are killers too! we could of then proben flys kill more then marijuana, lmao, jk
  14. Stoges are the only defense against bugs attacking you. wave it in their face and within seconds they'lle either run for their lives or their head will explode in a shower of brain matter
  15. haha good balance man, saving the bong, your coffee table and your own life.

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