I have come to the conclusion that I will always be a fuck up so I'm just going to live up to that reputation and screw everything else. A liter of jack has not drowned my sorrows this time!! And I was almost clean a year and I broke down and did 3 oxy 80s yesterday just trying to be numb.......god, that buzz is so sweet. But I could kick myself in the ass...I was doing so damn good. Anyway.....not only did my cheating b/f leave me for a 16 yr old after he got done screwing one of my best friends. Then today, my g/f leaves me too!!! I keep waiting for my cat to run away next!!!!!!! This drunk is not a happy one......not at all!!!! I keep wondering.......I must be some ugly ass person because all the people in my life always leave me. I'm not the most beautiful person in the world....god knows I'm no supermodel but damn....No one deserves to be done like I have been. So I'm drunk and stoned and I have a bon fire of the both of my ex's things in the yard and I still don't feel any better!!! So tonight, I'm going to drink and smoke until I pass out or forget my name. At least my marijuana and alcohol never leave!!!!!!!!!