I'm not going to. I'm not one of those people. I want to see outside the confines of my mind. What lies beyond my wall of consciousness? I keep having a reoccurring thought of myself in my room. Music is playing but it's not audible. I stand from sitting on my futon, turn to the left, and then start peeling the skin from my face. I start at the jaw itching and scratching. I more feverishly start raking my nails from my eyes down to the corners of my mouth. I work my eyes out of my sockets only to dig deeper inside of my face. I pull as much of my flesh away as I can before pulling my jaw downward away from my skull. Continuing to deface my own face I further pull out my insides through my jawless grin smearing my flesh against the wall I'm facing all the while. I'm enjoying myself in my daydream or my daydream is enjoying themselves, I can't tell. My cranium has been worked away to nothing now. I have only a gaping throat leading up to where my judgmental expression and hate filled mind used to sit. My body is still alive as if I were not decapitated. I continue rubbing my hands up and down the wall to the left of the futon. I lay on the wall as if left were down. My headless body groping and raking at the wall as if I were in search of hidden braille messages. My corpse stands and starts pacing up the wall to walk onto the ceiling and lay. Up is down and down is up. A very real feeling of success sweeps over me as I contemplate my headless body laying under my coffee table curled around the light on my ceiling. I don't know why I keep having these thoughts. I believe that they reflect that I'm unhappy with myself but the fact that these thoughts are not negative but more filled with intrigue and a sense of pleasure and adventure make question if they're something else entirely. I love violence but I am not the violent type. These reoccurring thoughts are not usual and they do not reflect anything that I have seen or felt. I sometimes feel as though I'm not the only mind inside of my consciousness. I feel like something or someone is trying to reach me in my thoughts. I wish I could pass from this world to see what lies beyond. To reach the edge of existence so that I could finally see if my perceptions were real or true. I must find a way to stare into my third eye. I also wish I could stop coughing. :[ What do you think? Is my sanity warping?
Man you think your room is bad? Wait till mom reads your computer when you go to sleep and you end up here. \/ Smoke Herb, be outside your mind, Stay Alive. /Thread,
I have no reason or plan to kill myself. It's just a scene that plays inside my head. A very real reoccurring scene. Oh, I live alone by the way. Mommy is a five hour drive away.
the term 'reocurring thought' isnt actually real..you cant have a thought that is reocurring unless you want to think about it. i'd say you should lay off drugs, or you need more attention. if you have mental health issues, smoking weed honestly is not good for you. if you're depressed, it can be serioulsly hazardous to your health to smoke pot or do any drugs for that matter. and if you were just doing some creative writting then i have to admit the nails to the eyes and cheeks thing grossed me out.
read the book 'You dont know me'. i think youd be able to relate to it if you do tell me what you think
when you die it's just going to be like BEFORE you was born, do you remember anything? no. was you anything? no. it will just be like that, so don't kill yourself emo kid. of course i have never died before so i wouldn't know but in my opinion this^ is most likely what will happen.
ahhh that shit, my friends have tried it, i never have. i want to though. any tips for taking haloucogenics?
i also view things from a vantage point that isnt in my head. like, im outside of me. i dunno about all that other shit tho.
dude, take this from a creative writing major: you have real skill. you're very creative and are good at getting your thoughts clearly written out. you should channel all of that negative energy into writing. just write down your thoughts. maybe write something constructive like a poem or a story! also, smoke some more weed. please don't kill yourself
i have thoughts like that i just had thoughts of standing in front of my public speaking class, wich has alot of military in it and saying the pledge of alliegiance then shooting myself inthe head, in front of everyone, even my girlfriend. its oncoming depression i have severe/suicidal deppression and i have thoughts like that all the time.. yea wonder why i smoke weed?? haha cause im fucking trippin all the time. depression is a scary thing when it manifests itself into your thoughts and visions just keep your head up dude dont let it enfold you dont give in. or you will wantto die.
its not natural to just be stting there and you dont compell your mind to visualize it it just forms into clips and death veils. it can be skary for some people yes some people do think about it but you know its different when it 'just happens' its hard to explain
Nope, no acid or any other drugs besides a little bit of bud here and there. Once again, I'm not going to kill anyone or anything including myself. I probably shouldn't have titled this thread the way I did. I don't want to die, I want see outside of myself so I can understand these thoughts I've been having. In my opinion dying would be the best way to find out what's going on inside my head because I'd be seeing myself from the outside instead of from the first person, but there would be no turning back so obviously shooting myself in the face or whatever is a terrible idea. I have been very depressed even though I have very very many things in my life to be happy about. I've also been very sick the past week or so, so I have been losing a lot of sleep. And as far as the thought being reoccurring that's exactly what it is. It's just like a dream, but while I'm awake. Sometimes it plays through in a couple minutes other times it happens in an instant. As far as my writing skills I'm awful at putting the way I feel into words in my opinion.