I used to be a Pastor.....

Discussion in 'Philosophy' started by Jlee3843, Apr 18, 2011.

  1. I'm basically just venting here, and wanted to share my experience, and see the response of others.
    I'll try not to make this to lengthy.

    I'm almost 30, I was brought up in "normal" Christian home (Pentecostal). I did my share of partying as a teen. At 19 was married and very involved in youth ministry. For three years I pursued becoming an ordained minister with the Assemblies of God. Hit bumps along the way. Was told that was "back slidin" and not ready for ministry. Of course I got upset for a while. But got over it and started again. I eventually became a licensed minister but I began to notice a trend, as I studied more I began to notice that what I was being taught didn't line up with scriptures that were being used for reference. things that seemed miraculous such as healing through "speaking" positive words and prayer, were confusing me since "the world" (people not of faith) had cases of cancer being healed through positive words and such.
    I have to say I have seen things before my very eyes not hear say that appeared to be miraculous. Where they? At this point I don't have a good conclusion.
    I do know that I as well as many others don't fit the model life/ character that is required to be a " man or woman of God " set forth by the church. I enjoy a plant that God put on this earth. That has been demonized by right wing, bible thumping activist with their own agenda and personal prosperity in mind. So I can't be a pastor or a good father or a good husband because I smoke weed? Really!? So I'm at the point where either I follow the model or be me. We are all different, that's what makes us unique isn't it? And one plant brings all of us together here. I can't wait for the day that all the prohibitionists and oldtimers of this country kick the bucket and let a new generation show true justice, equality, freedom and hopefully a new government that's not so shady. I think it's time for me at least, to not fit myself into a model that I don't fit or want to fit into. And try to get these ideas and brainwashing if you will, out of my life. That's easy to say but hard to do.
    Sorry for being so long. What's your opinion?
  2. I'd say you've discovered that the God of the Bible is different from the "god" portrayed in Christitan churches.

    God has left the churches because people no longer are interested in seeking a "one on one" relationship with him. The reality is that people have made the church their god - and have come to trust in what pastors and preachers tell them about God. People won't spend time in the Bible by themselves because they don't believe God truly exists... it is the people and philosophy of the church they worship. This is deception of the highest order.

    No man can reveal God to you - knowledge of God comes through revelation while reading and studying the Word of God (the Bible) on your own. God is not an idol...he is living, powerful and fully capable of teaching you about himself when you seek. As you do, he will transform your life.

    I've posted much on the topic of cannabis and God - so I won't get into that here except to say that God created cannabis - and that you can use it to better understand what he is teaching you as you read the Bible.

    We are all incapable of doing good. Don't let anyone convince you that somehow you are "bad" while others are not. God's love means he wants to meet you where you are - and wants you to know him personally. Remember, he already knows you - and every struggle you face.

    Seek him each day by reading in his love letter to you (the Bible).
  3. how about you just accept the fact that all religion is bullshit, there's no way of ever knowing what's to come of us after we die.

    so merely being content with that, and being a good person, striving to make people and such, you will find inner peace and happiness.

    and if there is a god, he certainly won't base who gets in on whether or not you accept him. he'll grant entrance to those with high moral values. trust me. you think he'd send me to hell just because i don't believe in him? that's not an all loving god.

    but then again, god might not be all loving.

    there's no way of knowing ANYTHING. so be content and good. the universe will unfold as it should.
  4. What I find difficult is having that relationship while not "fitting the model" of the church. Because I was taught and had scriptures twisted to rationalize their theory of " if you don't fit the model you can't have that kinda of a relationship because He doesn't want one with you. It's very difficult to unlearn something you have been taught the majority of your life. Then you begin to question yourself and motives. It's like we need a reset button.
  5. The reset button might be getting pushed sooner than you think... :smoke:
  6. Lawllllll, my mom is a fundamentalist and she espouses this shit everytime I'm home. Christians love drama more than teenagers.

    Fuck them. Be you. If you enjoy smoking then do it and find/associate yourself with people that respect that. You really can't expect to find tolerance in a subculture filled with intolerance, if you're really close to the fundamentalists.
  7. I would be shocked if it happened any other way Smokey.

    I feel like saying there's no way of knowing is the easy way out. And taking a lot of risk ( because I've been taught that it is ). However it may be true. Because as of today as far as I know there is no fact. Just what one feels comfortable in believing. I no longer wish to be a sheep.
  8. "fitting the model"....

    The model is something that man made. Biblical interpretations are manmade

    Relegion is manmade.

    So, let me ask you, are you letting Man push doubts into your head about subjects you already understand from within?

    Relegions have became mob-mentality, so to speak, with the mob-leader up on the podium telling what "he knows to be true" and the mob buying every word, confirming their own sanity and their "salvation" through eachother

    I don't believe the Bible can be so concretely interpreted, as "the model" would have you believe. What does the bible say to you and what do you believe in your heart of hearts to be true?

    "Try to realize it's all within yourself, No one else can do it for you"
  9. The bad thing for me is I can argue both sides I.E. : what I feel is right for me at this moment or what the pastor's perspective is Because I've done it for years.
    Determining what's real verses coincidence is a challenge.
  10. #10 Dryice, Apr 18, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 18, 2011
    I post this all the time, but I love this clip so I'm gonna post it again. Since it pertains to the nature of self-fulfilling prophecies and perception. "You want to find the number 216 in the world and you will be able to find it everywhere in nature."

  11. #11 Jlee3843, Apr 18, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 15, 2016
    Exactly.! This all happened a while back while I was studying a scripture. I wanted more so I looked up the Greek translation and it was totally different from the KJV. So I did more digging and found the same in other areas. So do I just need to learn Hebrew and Greek. That's kinda farfetched!
  12. #12 Jlee3843, Apr 18, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 15, 2016
    Your right hence my struggle. Couldnt watch the video. But I'll check it out later.
  13. So here's a question:

    Is the necessity to seek a creator, is that placed there by our creator?
    Something developed through environment?
  14. ?

    I'm not a fundamentalist by any means and that's the first time I've "espoused that shit."

  15. lol QFT :smoke:

    OP, do whatever makes you happy.

    other peoples baseless opinions shouldn't control what you want to do with your life.
    smoke a fatty for me :smoking:
    i'll do the same
  16. But yes like just about everyone else is saying, don't live your life by the churches standards or the standards of christians.


    Because these are not the standards with which you will be judged. Those standards are written on the hearts of all men, so yes, look within yourself.

    Does smoking weed feel wrong to you? Then it isn't.

  17. Whats the difference.
  18. You better believe I'll continue smoking or enjoying herb via some other method. I've quit smoking several times always due to guilt put on by a person. Not bc I wanted to bc I felt I had to. They (the church) tell you to come to their "side" if you want "freedom" from this world and sin. And then lock you up with their salvation handcuffs.
  19. removing the church out of any rationalization, what do you think solely of the bible, personally? i think that should ultimately be [one] of your final questions. why stop at the bible? last time i checked there were hundreds of other texts, agendas, scriptures and philosophies that try to portray an ultimate truth (or in some cases, none).

    i'm saying this if religion/philosophy interests you, if not, live life.
  20. If you want freedom, don't go to anybody's side and make your own. The philosophies I live by are a mix and match of several different philosophies. Come to a conclusion that you feel good about as it's obvious you're not that comfortable with what you've read.

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