That I'm an idiot. That I'm not that smart. That I'm so immature - it's not even a joke, really it wasn't, was it? It's like I'm a five year old in the body of a twenty year old, trapped between hot and cold. The winter's been round since last forever, let's hope the sun might shine once I'm together. From here goes my mind, in search of day, melting, moulding ... holy shit I just remembered. I forgot to brush my teeth, outrageous you say? Outrageous I do to, living my life will ruin you. No trees for paper [I just realised this would sound like it has an environmentalist message to it, but thinking of it now I should care more for the environment. This has been a PSA from your subconscious, your an idiot. As I was saying I didn't want the message sound too environmentalistic. Whoa just realised, I could have just said this was a double entendra, I'm such an idiot. I'm actually talking bout a certain herbal cure all and not having enough money to purchase said nescessary medicine.] I'm not screwing you. I'm through and through with life and with pain I'd be surprised if I ever found blood in my veigns. Coz I'm fucking insane you'd say I'm fucking insane. Is this all a game coz I'm fucking not plain. [Triple entendre bitches, I'm saying it like *****s say it so it has three meanings. First it's saying I'm not plain, remember I'm insane. Second it means, if taken from the African American, sorry for my earlier enslanderment to the negro populus - even if you didn't pick it up. From the African American perspective, it means I'm not playing and lastly it could possibly be a threat, but don't read into it, you'll probably look insane.] As I was saying before my incoherent but probably highly entertaining thrill ride through my oh so highly gifted mind, which from now on will shout silent praises to the almighty Lord our God at only the most random of coincidences in this game called life, which could mean forever. Aah life so amazing but still not everybody get's to live. And today I pass begin to collect the dough this baker has been waiting for 'since last forever', I'm such a genius come on praise me, praise our Lord God for breathing life into these lungs all those years ago. I still remember and never will forget. *great save* Are you still with me? I've finally found out I might not be as old as I thought I was but if time heals all wounds, Let's hope it heals this hiding soul. What else to say but reply, please. Where is the humanity!.
this is the conclusion i come to on psychedelics. its amazing how fucking retarded and immature it makes me feel.
Forgive me, I sometimes go off topic but, what I was trying to say was that I'm not fully developed. Still don't follow? My brain runs at half speed, and the rare times it does run full speed I love interacting with people something I can't do but want to, when it's not. I just wish it could always run like that, it makes me relaxed and happy which in turn makes me friendly and playful. Now I still feel something is being witheld from me, something like my mental health status. I feel like people think I'm violent which I'm not. Because they think I'm insane, which I might be, it feels that way but, I would never hurt a fly, really they're disgusting creatures. You know they're in the same family as the most feared insect known to man cockroscious maximoose. Or in laymans terms fucking roaches man, which are really fucking disgusting creatures, you know they can live for three years without food, really look it up Uncyclopedia.org wouldn't lie now would it, but it does. But roaches really can live without food for three years and now I hope all the oversized members in my imaginary audience, know what they want to be reincarnated as when they so grotesquely die tonight in an unfortunate couch surfing accident. Being reincarnated as a cockroach would be cool, just think you would be able to fly into people's mouths as and when they sleep, in their sleep, Inception style. And when they wake you could crawl into their mouths, with those little scrawney legs. Wtf am I talking about? Anyway, I feel retarded, socially at least, I'll leave the diagnoses for the proffessionals. And feel like I don't have a sense of humor, which would in turn limit the addition of my bodily fluids to the gene pool. Which in turn would make me a very lonely boy and I can't live like this. I don't even feel smart, I feel dead inside, sometimes. And the days that I don't I want to take over this world but night soon falls in Lalaland and love seems so far away. I feel like I have no personality and will never have a circle of friends and even if I did I would just be outside looing in. Sad really. If you followed all that, please tell me what you think of my writing style, as it would be a reflection of my personality as it's all stream of consciousness and my stream is polluted at the moment but the signature abyss-esque reflection will return.
You always got a friend right here in california. my philosophy: life is a waste of my time... ...If that makes any sense. I think we are in a really shitty time in life. things will get better once all of these old, greedy fucks die off. If it makes you feel any better, everybody looks sad and confused where i live. We are all in shitty times man. Ill smoke one for you
you'd potentially be one of my best friends if I knew you. your writing styles unique mixed with some comedy. psychedelics show you the world for what it is, gives you answers to questions not asked enough, gets rid of your ego and immature personality. Your personality is a unique comedy to me. just like life. be yourself and you will have what you want. remember the will of power and remember there are quite a bit of people out in the world that think like you and I. You just gotta find em.
Thanks Kaleidoscopic, that's all I needed, now maybe tomorrow I'll have the courage to face the world and get to know some people.
I'm with you OP... I like the writing style, it's entertaining to read it's not just a boring block of "well today im feeling sad because.." haha corny ik but i'll burn this 1 for u my man, you'll get out of the rut eventually
when i replied i only read the first couple lines of the 1st post. my bad on commenting not knowing what u were talking about mang
i love it when you post bro lol. come to the states and we will start a ganja farm and fuck all deez nuggahs. i agree life sux i dont want to play the game.