I think i'm slipping into another benzo addiction...

Discussion in 'Pandora's Box' started by NFloyd2357, Sep 22, 2009.

  1. Fuck Anxiety! My background is all over these boards, so i'll just brief it. I have severe anxiety, and i also have IBS. My anxiety causes painful symptoms of IBS. Last year, i was prescribed prozac for my anxiety, then later lamictal for manic depression and a small script of klonopin to help with the panic attacks. I only was prescribed 30 x .5mgs, but i soon started buying from friends at school, and then online. I realized i was addicted, but i needed them. Finally, sometime last year, i decided to get myself off of everything. The benzos, SSRI's, everything. I weened off in what i would consider about 1.5 months of complete hell. Those hellish weeks caused me to do really bad that semester in school.

    Flash forward to this past summer. I lost my scholarships in school, but i can get them back if i have a good excuse and a doctors note. My doctor only agrees to write a note if i go back on the meds, so even though i didn't want to, i had to... fuckin catch-22. So i'm on all the same scripts now, except celexa instead of prozac. As expected, my anxiety flamed up horribly as soon as school started, and it has yet to reside. My klonopin intake has been increasing, and its a struggle to keep myself from taking them. I havent taken any today, but i probably will - the knot in my stomach is unbearable, and the pressure in my chest/heart-attack feeling is awful. I also missed my early class today because of my stomach. I am becoming more dependent on them already, and have been buying bars and whatever i can get my hands on since my script is a joke. When i can't find benzo's, i start looking for opiates because i just need something, and thats a whole other issue (that thankfully isn't bad right now, never has been, and hopefully never will be).

    I hate making these threads. I guess i'm just hoping somebody might have some kind of empirical advice as to benzo addiction, and dealing with anxiety. Its becoming unbearable, and honestly, i might flunk out of school ( i was a straight A student before).

    I'll also add that i meditate and exercise, and have tried a number of herbal remedies for stress. Meditation helps quite a bit, but theres always an anxious feeling in my chest. The only time i feel at ease is when im playing guitar, which i unfortunately can't do 24/7
  2. Hey man, it sounds like we're pretty similar in some ways. I have generalized anxiety and social anxiety, as well as major depression and IBS. The constant anxiety and depression really fucks with my life, and just makes me feel like such shit because they cause my IBS to flare up.

    I'm on Zoloft for the depression and it's really not going that well. I'm also leary to start taking benzos for my anxiety because I've heard SO much about addiction even with prescribed usage.

    I wish I could help you with this, but I don't know what to do either man. Sucks. Positive vibes going your way. :wave:
  3. Gotta bite the bullet. I get anxiety (worse at times then others) and have a xanny script but I always end up taking them all before I can get them refilled.

    So I'm stuck quite often with anxiety and nothing to take. You just gotta bite down and say fuck it..this is how it is.

    You can't plan to keep taking pills to solve problems for the rest of your life...that's not an option. The longer you take them to solve a problem the harder it will be to quit.

    Just straight forward..make a smart decision..figure out what needs to be done to get to that decision and start making steps towards it.

    Whether moderation or quitting completely, only you know whats best for you. Not like your new here so I won't preach to a fellow preacher. Just can't keep goin down this path cause it's leading to addiction. Gotta do somethin about it..
  4. I'm in a similar situation to yours, though I've never had a problem with physical dependence on benzos (7mg/day scripted). I generally don't take everything that I'm prescribed though.

    In some ways, any advice you get is going to have a slight tinge of 'live with it' since anxiety, though it produces physical symptoms, is a thought disorder. To be able to change the way you react to anxiety-producing situations is highly, though not fully, based on the thoughts racing through your head. Techniques like active listening and heavy breathing can help to overcome some social anxiety and push it to the back of your mind.

    I'd say, though it doesn't seem like such a great idea now that I'm writing it, that you make up a small supply of dank weed and opiates (nothing too strong, I'd say hydros and oxys is fine) and then over the course of 2 weeks or so ween yourself down to what you feel is a reasonable dose of benzos to be taking.

    You should also tell your doctor your problems, and if you don't have a psychiatrist you should start seeing one instead. Since you go to college there are psychiatrists in the counseling/health center that are trained to help students with problems that occur more often in college students, while your doctor might have a negative opinion of you and that's why he is so resistant to other paths of treatment. I would also recommend (if your insurance or whatever allows) to start some kind of ongoing therapy with a psychologist. It is somewhat stigmatized but there's no reason for that. ESPECIALLY for people with social anxiety, who often have trouble opening up to people (myself included), having someone to talk to about your problems or whatever you'd like in a completely confidential manner can be a very beneficial exercise.

    If you need any additional help don't hesitate to PM me or contact me on AIM. I've wrestled with the same anxiety issues since the day I started college.

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