So I smoked right and I'm thinking to myself in my bed while trying to go to sleep. I'm like yo I've been in a trance for majority of my life, due to the miseducation of my childhood, I never really grasped the concept of exsisting and experiencing the world consciously, I was simply breezing along with no care of the world and not fully grasping conversations to the point where I listen with clarity and express ideas with enthusiasm. Due to this, my relationships with people don't exist past a mere occasional proximate conversation. I've been hiding because I never develop these attributes, the attribute of existing, the attribute of being aware and the attribute of the sharing and exchanging of true thought. True thought,meaning a connection of mentality, a mutual understanding of ideas. This honestly saddens me because I've been living for twenty six years under this umbrella of perpetual self-ignorance. However, I realize that it all stems from a very basic building block, which is reading. While I sometimes understand the things I read, to give myself some credit, I don't always grasp concepts and delivery of words, due to lack of exposure to writing styles and punctuation. I can continue on for days on the building blocks but my point should be clear I must really apply emphasis on the word learn,to fully grasp the true magnitude of the word. This building block will cascade to reinforce existing ones, that will ultimately improve myself. Improving self, by fully reaching consciousness which will allow myself to elaborately express who I am, so you can create wonderful relationships with others. Unfortunately, I'm sobering up now and I'm crawling back to the trance, Why do I feel like when I use big words that I don't think I apply my true feelings? Why in the hell do i think I'm more conscious high? and why does it point out in detail every problem you have in such explicit detail? Do people realize these things at a earlier age?maybe this is why some people smoke. I enjoyed this It's getting late and I must fall victim to the tyranny of the clock. Until next time.
Woah man deep shit. You should get understanding people to smoke with for sure, you can share deep ideas without being ridiculed.
This, 100% The line between people who wanna watch you succeed and people who wanna watch you fail is SO thin its hard to distinguish between the two a lot of the time. After dealing with a drug induced bout of self sabotage for almost 6 years i'm pretty certain i'm crazy myself however i've met some people who just put that shit to shame in their every day life and are "Successful" if that is even the correct word to use. All my issues started when i started hanging around with people who wanted to watch me fail, keeping a tight grip on my social circle and only letting people into my life who i know for a fact are positive is what got me through it, no pills, no other drugs, just a change of..Social life style i suppose. The sad thing is that the people who wanna watch you fail actually have something to lose by not keeping you around, that being whatever thrill they get from detaching from their shitty life while all the positive people have absolutely nothing to gain at all and can/will leave your life at the drop of a hat, you gotta fight to keep the right people around but first you gotta know the difference between these types of people.
I'm certified crazy Sounds like you are waking up and trying to experience life at it's full potential. There are so many ways to achieve that consciousness. If you make the effort you can change your way of thinking. Meditation is nice just sit and think about your life and things in depth with yourself and really get to the meaning of everything. Even ten minutes a day can make a difference.
I was under the impression that most meditation is the opposite of that - stopping thinking about your life for just ten minutes a day.
There is a wide assortment of different meditation practices that range from what you depicted to ones associated with satanic worship.