I Think I Screwed Up Big Time

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by CupcakeDolly, Mar 19, 2012.

  1. This is a total tl;dr. You have been warned.

    I've been talking to a friend for quite a while - I want to say maybe two or three years. We started off having a somewhat casual sexual relationship (as much as we could at a distance, anyway), and then continued just talking to each other when we both got involved in our own relationships.

    We're both single now, but still live at a distance, and I've been talking to him a lot more. We've cammed a few times and send each other pics and stuff. By all means, it shouldn't be a huge deal. Thing is, I have issues with idolization. I think perhaps that since I've been alone, I've started to cling to the thought of being with this guy, and I've built him up in my mind. I think about him all. The time. And it drives me fucking crazy. It takes all the restraint that I have to try to be cool and to not constantly text or IM him.

    Everyone I've talked to about it so far has said that I'm being an idiot, and that I need to stop talking to him, and cut off all communication with him completely. This is the part where I do the douchiest thing I could possibly do. This guy, since I've started talking to him again after my breakup, has told me all about how his friends are slowly abandoning him and refusing to talk to him, and how much it's been bothering him. I'd told him before that I would be there for him. Then last night, because I suddenly feel this urgent need to make these thoughts about him stop once and for all, I tell him that I don't think I can talk to him anymore.

    He got pissed, of course, and he has every right to be. I screwed up and became one of those people who try to abandon him. Our conversation about it was never resolved, so for now I'm waiting for him to contact me, to see if he still wants to talk about it. I don't know what to do, though. I don't know if I can possibly do anything that will make both of us happy.
     
  2. well if he's anything like me he won't be talking to you. but i guess you can see what happens.

    pretty shitty to do that right after he told you that though...
     
  3. Just be straight with him and tell him the truth.
     
  4. :laughing: ;) :laughing:
     

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  5. I'd like to, but I don't know if I should even try talking to him. I'm sure he hates me on some ungodly level now.
     
  6. don't be afraid and just talk to him.
     
  7. 1) You can't stop thinking about him, So you tell him you can't talk to him anymore which isn't going to work and you probably fucked everything up. I would forget about you If I was him.

    2) He told you his friends were abandoning him and you do the same exact thing.

    Am I missing something here?
     
  8. Bah, just contact him and be straight up. It's soon enough now that you can do damage control. The more time that passes the worse it gets.
     
  9. If I was that guy.. you wouldn't be hearing from me again, you'd need to message me and apologize, and tell me exactly why you thought it was okay to abandon me after knowing me for 3 years.

    That's pretty mean stuff.
     
  10. S**tty move...

    Sorry, no way to sugar-coat that one. Why didn't you tell him the truth as to why you didn't want to talk to you? And, if you expect him to contact you after pulling a move like that??? You'll be lucky.

    If you want to salvage anything, you'll have to be the one contacting him, and trying to make it better, not sitting on the fence waiting for him to do it, because if it was me, I sure as hell wouldn't.
     

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