Okay lets start with a little back ground information... I live with my aunts family... and i have a 13 year old cousin who's a very typical teenage girl. She is constantly borrowing my clothes..and this drives me crazy as she is bigger then me and stretches them out in all the wrong places! Anyway today started with me walking into the washroom, and seeing a pair of MY panties between all her clothes. Now I don't know if I'm just over hygenic..but the thought of someone else wearing my underwear grosses me out beyond belief! This all made me really fucking angry... and when she got home i confronted her about it, and she straight out lied to my face, untill i actually showed her the panties and then it was too obvious to lie about. Later on this evening i am frantically looking for my eyeliner as i'm getting ready, i opened up her purse to see if my eyeliner was in there, and i found my eyeliner, a gorgeous lighter of mine, two bottles of my perfume and some other make up. This shocked the living crap out of me...as i didnt think it was this bad., and in order for her to have aquired all this stuff she must have gone through all the shit in my room. Which to me now feels like a complete invasion of my privacy! When i was growing up all my friends had all these hiding places in their rooms so that their parents didnt find stuff they wanted to hide. I was always able to throw something in one of my drawers and know that my parents respected me and my privacy enough not to go through any of my stuff. I sat her down this evening and had a talk to her about it, she gave me all the stuff from her purse back, god only knows what else of mine shes stolen, i have a wad of cash in my room, but i'm not sure exactly how much was there in the first place so I have no clue if shes touched that. I just have no idea how to handle this, i know confronting her and talking to her about it was a start, i just dont know if i could have possibly handled it better. I dont want to go to her parents about this, just because both of them are notorious for over reacting..and them screaming at her isn't going to do shit. anyone have any further advice to offer? I just needed to get that all off my chest... my mind just doesnt really know how to comprehend all this!
well, first off..... damn, that is why this world would be dead if women weren't on it..... haha, i think so far you've handled that awesomly. first off, you should be disturbed by this behavior, but at the same time, if you two are close enough, she might consider you a sister-ly type? you are her cousin, thats pretty close to a sister if your living together. either way, dont bring this up with her parents, and tell her that your not going to, and that you can work it out between the two of you. if you dont scream at her, sit her down, and try to explain that its simply not okay for her to take your things like that, and to go through your possesions. if your close in age, im assuming your older, maybe try and take her under your wing a bit, and be a role model for her? you seem like a pretty awesome chick, so hey, even if you rub off on her only a little, it all helps
What Souljah said is pretty much what I'd say. Does she have make-up of her own and her own of stuff that she stole? Maybe she just needed some, and knew that you had it. Does she take your weed? Because as far as I'm concerned, that is WAY over the line.
Well I think Souljah put it best, you just have to make her understand that its not right to steal your stuff, and ask her how SHE would feel if you were stealing her stuff, then it may click. But you couldn't have handled it any better, I applaud you for that .
Well thank you =) I'm hoping now that we've talked it over she'll stop doing it... And what souljah said about the role model for her...I do try very hard t o be a good one..i've put a hell of alotta effort into this kid just because her parents cant be bothered... so i generally try spend time with her and get her head straight with things. But this brings another problem..when i looked in her purse i also saw a pack of cigarettes.... Now she's 13...I started smoking when i was 13, and now 6 years later i'm still stuck smoking and i hate it! I tried to explain all this to her too.. but sometimes with teenagers, it just seems like nothing you say is going to stop them from doing what they wanna do i guess.
Take something that's personal to her, see how she likes it. If I had a cousin who was taking my shit I'd throttle 'im.
You're doing a bang-up job handling things so far, seriously. If the talking doesn't work, you can always just lock your door. break your old knob if you have to. i don't know many 13 year olds that pick locks. well, maybe some ragamuffin from an oliver twist-like orphanage, but not regular people. As for the cigarettes, you're right, she's probably gonna do what she wants to do, since smoking at that age is almost entirely about looking cool/fitting in and rebellion. She won't see the fact that you still smoke 6 years later as a reason not to, she'll see you as a hypocrite for telling her not to do something you do yourself. And then, 6 years from now, when she's still smoking, but it's killer her cause she's paying 6.50 a pack, she'll come to you and be like, "damn, i should've listened." I got severely reprimanded when i worked at a church, because after i caught one of my 6th graders smoking a cigarette one night when we were playing hide and seek at the church (which was seriously pretty awesome. SO many great hiding spots in that place, and my mom always tells me i'm 6 years old, so i had a great time), I told him that I'd been hooked on cigarettes for going on 7 years myself, and that regardless of how cool it makes you look (I don't care what anyone says, smoking is cool. It's stupid, and it sucks, but it is cool), it really sucks being a slave to a box of weeds. The kid actually quit smoking (i'd spent a LOT of time with the kid over the summer. real trouble maker acting out cause his parents didn't pay him any attention. great kid though. we got him straightened out. anyway, he valued my opinion on just about everything, and after i told him how much money i spend on cigarettes, he didn't want any part of that). I got yelled at for admitting to that kid that I did something "wrong." I admitted to being human. and i got yelled at. well i'm getting started, so i'd better quit. *steps off soapbox* all you can do is say your piece and hope some of it sticks. she'll end up thanking you eventually.